Salute to Stupidity: FOOTBALL STUFF

So this is a conversation that I had with Peter Duke discussing the new design for his football website. Soon later, the Chinese were mentioned. If you are offended by any of the following, I don't mean to offend, because I'm British and therefore so polite that my balls shrink. See? It works both ways. I'm not racist. But I also have the manhood of Chuck Norris so you can fuck off with that earlier comment. Either way, don't be offended, just laugh along because laughing is what keeps us all sane. Unless you laugh at morbid situations, then you're just a fucking nutjob.

Anyway, let's get on with this. Oh, and another warning, this was a Facebook conversation, so the usual warnings about disjointed sentences and stuff applies.

Peter Duke: "Well I'm kind of hoping the Olympics could be the first thing we cover."
Me: "Maybe"
Dukey: "Not sure about it though, you'd need to be writing a preview/report almost daily."
Me: "There's more than one game? Ooh, new idea. How about, now this is a great idea, just hear me out"
Dukey: "In the Olympics? There's a whole group stage xD"
Me: "They take every football team to the Nevada desert. Right, and they set up one goal. And it's a massive knock-out tournament. And it'll take DAYS. But people would watch it."
Dukey: "They would, without a doubt."
Me: "Hell, I would watch that."
Dukey: "Right I'm installing myself as editor for this site."
Me: "Upwards of a thousand people trying to get at a ball. Priceless."
Dukey: "It would be. And you can go on YouTube and see 98 little kids playing 11 men. It's hilarious."
Me: "I'm going to find an American oil tycoon and pitch this to him."
Dukey: "There's like, no room on the pitch."
Me: "Oh?"
Dukey: "Yeeeaaaah, type Real Madrid China kids."
Me: "I assume this was some kind of charity event?"
Dukey: "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udx2K73DmMo PR I think." (Watch the video to understand the rest of the joke)
Me: "This camera work is terrible."
Dukey: "They're Chinese..."
Me: "WHAT THE FUCK. Is this what Europe is going to look like soon? Badum ts"
Dukey: ":P"
Me: "There's not even bothering about formation. They're just swarming. And I love how there's just one fat kid."
Dukey: "Me too xD!"
Me: "God this is crazy. Maybe this'll teach the Chinese that just pouring in numbers doesn't actually give you a tactical advantage. OH NO! THEY'RE LEARNING!"
Dukey: "xD!!!! It's horrifyingly adorable!"
Me: "Yeh... Do you think this is what all Storm Troopers are like when they're kids?"
Dukey: "That's the funniest thing I've read all day."
Me: "I'm glad."

I hope you found that as laugh-worthy as Dukey and I did. Otherwise, I guess you had to be there.

Pete out.

Electric Teapots: STEREOTYPES WEEK

So this week has been a bit controversial and some people got really angsty because Kesh mentioned the words "potato" and "famine" in a sentence. I did as well and I was told off by the Ire I was talking to.

Huh, I thought I invented the word Ire, but apparently it's real. Just so you know, an Ire (as I invented it) is an Irish person. British people are called Brits and American people are called Americans, Canadians, Germans etc., so I figured Ireland needed one as well. Ire. It just works. Ohhh, of course, it means "anger or intense fury" but can also be used as an abbreviation of Ireland. Well, Ires are now going to be the people of Ireland. It makes perfect sense.

Anyway, I'm probably done. Kesh's video was hilarious, James' video felt a bit rushed and my video was pretty cool.

I'm off to Ireland next week, so no posts, but when I get back there will be a bucket load of stuff. I want to leave it with some good content-to-go though, so I might see if I can set some time aside just to blog stuff. I really want to make some short stories.

Anyway, I'm done.

Pete out.