Beard Tuesday

Last week I decided to change. Not my clothes, my face. I'm still wearing the towel they put me in after my birth. It's a little small now.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I decided to grow a beard, and today was the day that people actually noticed it. More on that later.

First Lesson - Free
Josh Quach had a massive rant about the Tories and how they're massive gaylords (he's a homophobe, see). That was honestly pretty much the whole lesson... unless I'm forgetting something... nope, probably not.

In breakfast Sophia started the endless cycle of her touching my beard. It felt nice.

Second Lesson - DT
Oh don't I have a fun story to tell. You know how Mrs Egobitch is a right knobfuck? I know right? She had the cheek to waste our time with a pointless lecture about nothing. She also had the cheek to say that my work wasn't as good as it was. She deserves to be burned in the pits of hell. No wait, that's far too good for her. She deserves to be raped by a burning badger. No wait, that would mean harming a badger. She deserves to be mutilated by a chemically engineered flaming badger with spikes on its back. Yeah, that's good.

Third Lesson - DT
I went to go and see Miss Cockroft this lesson. I had a plan before I went in. I would tell her that Mrs Ainswhore is the single worst teacher on the face of the planet. I would word it in such a way as to make me sound genuinely worried rather than seeking revenge. The plan would work.

Outside Voice: So yeah, I just don't think she's giving us the support we need.
Inside Voice: When I say support, I mean she hasn't actually ever taught a single lesson in her life. She stands in front of the classroom, shouts a lot and expects something good to come out of it.
Rofty: How do you mean?
Outside: Well she hasn't told us how to do the evaluation and there's nothing on the VLE.
Inside: She also burns small children at the stake. I seriously can't work around people like that.
Cock: Well I can't go in accusing her of everything. She is a colleague and I do work with her.
Cockroft's Inside Voice: But I so wish I could.

That pretty much sums up that conversation. Mrs Cuntbitch then came up to me after she ate her own baby for lunch and was all like, "I sent you a PowerPoint about three weeks ago about Criterion 5," and I was all like, "No you didn't." That was me containing my state of absolute pissed-off-ness. I am about ready to bite her head off and eat it at my next rock 'n' roll gig.

At lunch Laura pointed at me and shouted a lot, and these words eventually came out: "You are the only person in the year who can pull a beard off!" Hmm, cool. Thank you, Laura.
Josh was like, "You're growing it to cover your bum-chin aren't you?" What bum-chin? Hah, see what I did there?

Fourth Lesson - Media
This lesson we learned about Pluralism, which is the opposite to Marxism. As far as I'm aware, Pluralism is the idea that everyone is equal... but it's also a democracy. So people should work together for the benefit of the country. Therefore I think the definition of Marxism is that the individual should strive to be better than anyone else and rise to be the ultimate power and control everything. There is only one problem with each of these values. A communist regime implies both Marxist and Pluralist ideals. A dictatorship is obviously Marxist, and democracy is definitely Pluralism but communism... well it's both. This confused me. Also, if we're looking at it that way, democracy is also both, because that's what this country is. We all help each other but we also help ourselves. One chain of supermarket could potentially take over all others, but at the same time they could all converge. This is both Marxist and Pluralist so... it's all about figuring where the line is. The only problem is that Ms T asked us to CHOOSE which side to take; so I have to choose whether I am Marxist or Pluralist. From its immediate description, Pluralism sounds better than Marxism, but it has as many disadvantages. I finally decided that I was a fuselage (neither right nor left wing) and therefore this decision ... will not actually be taken. My belief is that no system truly works. Loads of people are crying out for equal rights... okay, so we'll put the labour party back to its roots and make our country a communist country. Rich people are also complaining because of all the money that they get to keep anyway but want to make more, so let's put the conservative party back to its roots and make our country a dictatorship. No one seems to see that the balance we have at the moment, while not perfect, is well on its way to being ... okay. Well, that was my rant.

At the end of the lesson I was walking to the library and Beth and Casey just happened to be there as well and they saw my beard and didn't give either a positive or negative response and clearly stated... wait, no, Casey definitely called it a cute beard. Yes, I do remember that because I had to clarify it with her. Also outside the Library was Courtney, who was all like, "You look different. It's a good different!" and I was all like, "Have you dyed your hair? It looks nice, I like it."

Fifth Lesson - DT
I polished up my product and finished that bitch. Becca also became the first negative comment about my beard. Well, I guess that says something about your taste in my beard, Becca, it's definitely misplaced. Also, at the end of the day:
Joe: Yeah... he is stubborn. But that sounds exactly like someone I know. *Stares at Becca. Becca looks back in disgust* HUTCHY!
Me: Hey, I'm not apologising for that! I was within my rights to do it.
Joe: Why would you sleep with my badger?
Me: She was a right slag.
Joe+I: She was well up for it!
Fuck yeah. 
Becca: Hah! I love laughing at you two.

And that concludes another day in the deep, dark heart of Brooke Weston. What the fuck am I going to do after I'm done here?
Oh well, all I know is that the beard is definitely a keeper for at least a couple more days. It's not thick enough to look fantastic yet, but it's getting there. Still, I am glad I decided to make the change.

See you soon.