Dreams

Last blog post I said that I don't dream. While that's the case now, I did certainly once dream when I was younger than I currently am, so I'm going to take you through all the weird-ass dreams that I can remember and hopefully all this talk of dreams will suddenly make me dream about dreaming, which in turn will cause me to dream. Found a way around you, mind.

The first dream takes us back many many years into the distant past. I don't normally ever mention my childhood, because it was pretty shit and not really what a childhood should be... but we'll soldier on. The dream in question consists of a world entirely consisting of me. Picture the scene, you're in a city (well not you, but me you, as in you but me, as in me but you're you but me), the buildings are tall, the road system is horrendously complicated and it's actually quite a lot like Metropolis from the old Adventures of Superman. One of me got trapped under a wall or something, and then a super-me flew in to save me. I don't remember what happened to me, but I'm pretty sure I was fine. Anyone who is anyone who reads this blog knows that I'm quite a solitary person, my family not being my real family because you're my real family and therefore I was forced to ignore these arseholes that parade around what should be our house pretending it's theirs. I don't know if that has anything to do with this, but hey, a world of me would be pretty good, wouldn't it? No wait, I'm a man, that would be shit.

The second dream is also in the past, and only remember it because of how vivid it is. In this dream my house was essentially haunted, and I was running through it trying not to be eaten and such. The first incident I remember is me looking up my staircase, and then a black cat pounced at me. Now regularly you'd expect that this would be the point where I'd say I shat myself, but I didn't. I just watched as if I was a passive observer, but I was still pretty freaked out because this cat had just pounced at me. Soon enough I ended up in the conservatory, where a huge-ass vampire-bat, winged-devil thing flew down and totally like snarled at me with his someone-needs-to-eat-less-raw-meat bloody teeth and that's all I remember.

Now I bring you into more recent times. Some parts of the dream best be left a little censored because they involve people you may know and might tell them about it, and I wouldn't want that. And no, this is not an excuse for you to be all like "Oh we won't tell anyone, just say!" because there's no point because it's just a dream and means literally nothing except this obviously means something but I don't care just don't ask because I already know the meaning of it and therefore you don't need to question it I believe I've made myself clear but if I haven't I'd gladly repeat what I just said. Good. Anyway, the dream starts in the school cafeteria, I'm with some friends (namely Deromi, Jonny, Lauren and co), and the school cafeteria morphs into a regular, varnished-wood looking one in some kind of café or similar place. So I'm getting my food, I don't remember what I got. It's also important to note that this place doesn't have a fourth wall, and it kind of just fades into a field. But yeah, I was for some reason or another having a fight with this guy, and we can both apparently use super speed to run at each other but somehow never hit each other. Or I hit him and won. I don't know. Then the Angel of the North falls down off its hill and crashes down next to us. We're fine. Then for some reason that becomes like a table thing to sit around in the crater it just made, and I apparently started to get snuggly with someone and someone else gets angry. You could take five guesses at who those people are, and maybe get one right, but there's no point because of that speech. All of my dreams in recent years have been this same incoherent nonsense; this is the only one I remember in any detail mind.

In another dream Joe, Becca and I are in some kind of pinball thing. But aside from the obvious hilarity of trying to get through a maze while being chased by huge-ass shiny balls, I don't think I should mention what happens. It's super awkward.

All other recent dreams that I have any slight recollection of have been sex dreams and they're not worth mentioning at all in the slightest. Although in one dream the school became a sex school. Where PHSE is all about getting your first kiss and fingering class is all about... well fingering. That's kind of weird. This is why I didn't want to discuss this. Eugh. Get yourselves wiped off because we need to get serious again.

So, those are three (and kind of a fourth) dreams that I remember and probably worth making a note of just to prove to myself that I do have dreams and that I'm not some sort of inhuman freak.
Hutch out.