You know already, that I the Messiah am (whoa, German grammar creeping into English there) but did you also know that I'm also the saviour of a mystical kingdom that may or may not be Corkwood? I don't think it is Corkwood, because that's entirely different to what happened in this dream.
Yes, you did hear that right. I had a dream. I was well chuffed when I woke up, that I went back to sleep to continue the dream! And it worked! Whoo! Let me tell you what happened.
Two kingdoms were at war, but on a much smaller scale than you might think. Imagine the map Avalanche from Halo 3, it was about that sort of scale. My team were the good guys, and we were fighting these guys that were probably known as the Rebels. The name "Rebels" was thrown about a bit during this dream sequence. Anyway, to bring you back to the scene, this was based around the medieval period, so everyone was armed with swords and suits of armour. Apart from I, who had a sword and a lightsabre. So basically, what happened for the first part of the dream was essentially me kicking ass with my sword in one hand parrying like crazy, and my lightsabre in the other cutting everyone up like a honey badger with a vengeance. Eventually the two teams retreated back to their castles/ditches/villages/kingdoms, I don't know that part. The 'bases' were in ditches reminiscent of Machu Picchu.
The camera then cut to the Rebels (my dreams rarely follow me in first person, especially during action sequences) and it appeared that they had a bit of a problem on their hands. Inside their base was Frau Hibberd and a robot army. I don't know why Frau Hibberd has a robot army, but just run with it. So they were all like "Damn" and didn't know what to do. A third enemy had just put itself into the equation, thus rendering the realm of my dream a three-way war of death. At this point I discovered an objective, it was a little hazy in the earlier part of the dream, and that's why I didn't mention it before. Basically, every now and then when some one died, they dropped a scroll, and at this moment I discovered that the scroll they were now inspecting had a map of their base and the surrounding area, so I totally darted in, cut a few of them up, stole the scroll and took it back to base.
Back at base we started looking at the scroll, and then another plot element revealed itself. Apparently the Rebels had some kind of epic monster/giant thing (again, I don't know, this part was hazy) that they were planning to use against us. I was all like "We're a bit screwed, we don't have anything that can fight that" and then my general was all like "But you are its equal" and then a large, morale-boosting speech happened and I was totally motivated to kick some more ass.
I then kicked some more ass.
I then woke up at about quarter to ten, turned my phone on and then decided that I had just had the most awesome dream of all time, so upon discovering it was 09:44, I went back to sleep, to try and finish the dream, and thus it continued.
While I was kicking ass on the battlefield, my mind had started following this monk/wizard guy who I totally thought was me but with a long beard. He was in this alleyway-type thing, and before him stood a large gate but next to him was a dude who was all like, "But over here is paradise. You could step through that gate and determine the fate of the world, or just relax it in paradise."
The guy I was following was all like, "No, I have to save this place. Besides, it doesn't look that great anyway."
This 'paradise' had luscious green fields, trees, bushes and a church with a design inspired by Assassin's Creed. Then the other guy started to sell the idea of paradise by producing large branches which apparently the monk/wizard guy loved, because he was then all like, "Fine, I'll stay for a bit."
The end.
I don't think I can leave it there though. While I'm cutting people up, the monk/wizard guy is about to have the time of his life in paradise. I think it's now up to me to convince the monk/wizard guy to not stay in paradise, and go through the gate, possibly with me to determine the fate of the world. Also, what the fuck happened with the robots? And the epic monster/giant guy? Too many questions.
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