Regimes and an Old Man

I am literally the most organised unorganised person on the face of the planet. If you go on my computer, not only is the My Documents folder broken down into the necessary sub-folders, but then I have my own folder marked "Peter" and inside that folder is all my personal stuff. This would include all my various stories, movies, a few games, screenshots, pictures (and of course the pictures folder is broken down again) as well as Zero-G, RichChief's main project which will hopefully soon bare fruition.

So, one could say I'm pretty well organised. One would be wrong.

Organised people have a structure to the day, a regime if you will. The best example I can think of this was when Bekah Hadley invited Joe and me over for Sunday lunch. I can't remember her entire list, but it was pretty extensive, and every item had a corresponding time so that she didn't fail to do any of these tasks. I do not do this. I do things as they happen, and if I have to enact that happening, it probably won't happen until late at night when I'm all out of films and start thinking "I actually need to do something about this now."

So, I guess you'd be wondering at this point about why on Earth I'm talking about all of this. Well, get this, readers. Now that my weight has stabilised and decided not to shift, I've decided to start exercising again in the hope that if I gain muscle weight, I will also gain actual weight.

"So wait, was that long, tedious introduction all to tell us that you've made a training regime?" Yes and no. Okay, it's a no. The only regime thing I do is that I've decided to go for a random half hour walk back from the bus stop instead of the usual five. I also take the dog for a walk every evening at approximately seven o'clock now that we've got him back for however long we do if not forever. I'm hoping it's forever. But when do I ever get that kind of luck? However, these extended walking periods aren't really going to change much, so I dug out my brother's old weights and started using them. Yes, I'm still as pathetic as I was three weeks ago and still really can't lift my weight for more than a few minutes without my entire torso saying "Nope." but somehow I've found a way to start off slowly and accept the fact that trying to start training my arm muscles with 10kg worth of weights is probably a bad idea, and I've instead opted for the beginner's five. I'm more likely to just be toning my muscles right now, but when I wake up most mornings with a searing pain in my biceps I know that I have just gotten a little bit stronger. Soon this strength will convert to weight and we'll say goodbye to my bony complexion.

Fuck yeah. Confidence for the win.

Anyway, I had a thought earlier. I somehow got "This Old Man" in my head, and then I thought about what we used to convert it to when we were kids. I then thought about exactly how weird and paedophilic that conversion actually was. Just roll with it and we'll see what happens.

This old man, he played two,
He played nick-nack on my poo. 
With nick-nack pally-whack, 
Give a dog a phone, 
This old man's a rolling stone. 


I don't know what that says about the rolling stones, if I'm fairly honest with you. I just realised something else too. Think about how weird and paedophilic the original version is.

This old man, he played three,
He played nick-nack on my knee. 
With nick-back pally-whack, 
Give a dog a bone,
This old man is rolling home. 


I certainly don't want my kids to grow up in a world where paedophilic old men roll on up to my kids, play "nick-nack" on their knees, bone dogs and then roll on home again. I also have a number of questions surrounding this song.

1. What the fuck is nick-nack, and why is he playing it on children?
2. What's a pally-whack?
3. Why did my teacher teach my this song, despite the fact that it's weird, perverted and since giving dogs bones is now illegal (sort of), the only possible explanation for the dog and bone thing is actually bestiality?
4. How on Earth does this old man roll?
5. What kind of message does this portray to our kids?

I already know the answer to number five. The fact of the matter is, kids are far too innocent to come up with all that stuff that my apparently demented brain thought of, and naturally think that giving a dog a phone is far more hilarious-a-lyric than giving them a bone.

I had such potential for this image. It was going to look awesome and it was going to be hilarious. But then I realised that I can't draw at all and failed. 

EDIT: I found a solution. Having Walter back was a real advantage to me.

The old dog and phone.

Well, I think that that wraps that up with that. You've been left with something to think about there. So get down and think about it.
Hutch out.

P.S. I just got totally told that my grammar was off for one sentence in this post. It was also stated that I apparently call myself a "grammar Nazi." I think this term is completely derogatory and I would never ever call myself that. I do indeed care a lot about grammar, and I do often correct people's grammar, and it has now even reached the point where my friends asked me to proof-read their work for grammar. I will not, even for one minute, pretend that I know grammar inside and out. Occasionally I get things wrong. Grammar is my strong point in languages, but I'm not a super genius who knows absolutely everything about it. Yet. (Yes, I do bloody well know that that was a sentence fragment. And no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying 'that that'). Stop trying to tell me that I'm someone who I'm not.