Resolutions

Okay, I didn't want to post purely about New Year's resolutions today because that's like half a line, so I'm going to go ahead and first talk about last night's dream. That's pretty significant because I never ever remember my dreams, and as dreams go, this one's pretty freaky.

The dream started in this pretty awesome house. It was actually awesome. For some reason the school wanted us to be in on a Tuesday in the middle of the holiday, but yeah. So, I was a naked woman. Yeah, that's why this is a little weird. Yeah, me and my fellow naked women decided to go to school... naked. Anyway, then the plot changed and I was in bed in my ideal house. I mean me this time, the guy you always see. I don't know what happened to the naked women. So yeah, this next bit is a little weird, but I saw loads of people that I know suddenly decide to visit me, including you lot and my kids. I don't remember if anything was said, but it was all over within moments, just like the next few moments because suddenly we were trying to drive to school, except there was no one at the wheel and someone was trying to hopelessly control the car. I said that I could do it, and I did pretty well. Then for some reason the car turned into a bike with a missing wheel, so I ended up back at my new house without a car. Then suddenly I realised that it was 12:45, and somehow spent an entire morning trying to get to school. That's when I think I gave up and the dream ended.

So yeah, this is a post about resolutions, since this is that time of year when it should be thought about. This is always a hard task for me, because I'm such a perfect person. There has only been one resolution that has really stuck out to me this year, but I dare not write it here because it's not exactly the kind of thing you'd write on the internet. Otherwise the same old crap returns again. Get a girlfriend. Eugh. That's pretty standard. Standard is really boring, and that means that is now in the front of my mind again, right where I don't want it to be. Ace my exams, that'll work.

This has been a sham of a post and I apologise. It was meant to be meaningful and insightful, but it hasn't been. I apologise with greatest sincerity.

A New Year suggests that changes are to be made, and every year I wish that they would. I believe I wrote something in Travis about it. Okay, let's do this.

01/01/09
"Yappy Hew Near!
Yes, that is the most stupid way I could think of saying 'Happy New Year' but it matters not.

I'll be brief this time, nothing much has happened today.
Had my Great Auntie and Uncle over, they seemed as cheerful as ever, despite Bob's increasing problem with his movement and health.
It shows real bravery and character to be able to laugh at your own suffering, and make others laugh with you.

My resolution?
Exactly this. Keep writing in here, in Travis. Sorry if I don't refer to you in second person, but you are just a collection of my thoughts. That's a little rude, isn't it?


I also hope my life will change as soon as I hit 16. It didn't. I'm still looking for the chance to have a meaningful relationship that isn't tainted by anyone, damn Brogan, that bastard. He really hurt my feelings.
"I didn't mean it!" was his response to me, pfft, bullshit I say. It once again leads me to believe that my theory of the Collective (God is just our collection of thoughts bundled together to control everything, sort of) is true, how else could I have this much bad luck with girls despite the fact that Luke, Becca and even Brogan say that I'd have a good chance with anyone? Just words. Little harsh. Nope, for some reason all girls have this joint hatred of me - well, that might be a little strong. A little strong?
I hate being the 'friend' though.
Sure, I love helping, but it's just not helping me get in their pants. I get it now!


'Nothing changes... on New Year's Day...'
U2, great song.
Hopefully, it won't apply here though, the Collective needs to change. I was really obsessed with that theory wasn't I?


I admit, I feel more accepted and respected in the world right now, and my happiness (this is certainly not happiness I'm displaying) will continue to remain (when I am back at school with my friends of course) but the fact is I still want someone else in my life, someone I can be attached to, but not too attached - I regret the last time that happened.

Okay, I lied, I'm not being brief.

I hope to hell I have sex during this year, but I haven't even made out with anyone yet. Oh just wait two weeks, my friend.
Third base with a girl? Keep hoping.
I can only hope it's sooner rather than later. I remember telling someone how I was going to kill myself (gasping face) if I'm still a virgin at 19 - Luke I believe. How could he even look at me after I said that? That's bad, man. Really bad. Like super mega bad. It's a good thing I'm super awesome now and not like that. 
Colon s. Hah, I was funny.


Peace out." Smooth.


Yeah, that wasn't nice, was it? Tomorrow I'll post something nicer than that, I promise.

Peace out.