6 Word Memoirs

We had an assembly about  6 word stories today, and one section was about six word memoirs, meaning that one would have to describe their entire life in six words. The first example we I got I think was, "For sale: Baby shoes, never worn." I have a feeling I've gotten that wrong, but that's the sort of angle we're going for. So, after assembly I was with Dallamore, Luke and Sophia and we were naturally talking about what our memoirs would be. I said that I had absolutely no idea what mine would be, so I got a couple of suggestions.

Luke said, "Button fly broken, wears large belt," because the button fly is indeed broken on my trousers and I'm wearing a large belt to cover it. So that's appropriate.

Dallamore's was fantastic though. He said, "Unsung Hero. Wears really nice shirt." Damn right. You know yesterday I saved 3000 children from a tornado on the island of Kariachistan off the coast of Madagascar? Exactly, none of you know about it.

I then said this, "Zero to hero in six words." I think that's perfect if I'm quite honest with you. I don't know if it's as good as Dallamore's, but it's pretty good if I say so myself.

Anyway, because I'm now finished with my 6 word memoirs, I think it's time to move on to Kariachistan. As I said, it's off the coast of Madagascar and had a population of about 10,000. That number is now 4000. It's all because of their strange habits. Basically, yesterday there was a huge tornado that threatened to kill everyone. So what I did is I flew by the island and managed to save about 1000 of the adults. I then suddenly wondered why the hell there were no kids. After another few seconds I found out. The parents were throwing their kids of the cliff in order to protect them from the tornado. Luckily, there's a system of caves that runs through Kariachistan that they use as protection from the natural disasters that happen every now and then. Now, this whole throwing your kids off thing is fine if you have one child, because they can just swim into the caves and get treated down there. However, because of the way of the people of Kariachistan, all the children are tied together if you have more than child, which makes it impossible to swim. Not to mention that they were drowning from the raging torrents caused by the tornado. I had to save them. I did manage to get them all into the caves. But the 6000 adults still on the surface perished because they all had makeshift flying machines that all failed and crashed into the forests of Madagascar, and they were most certainly eaten alive by the thousands of undiscovered species there.

And that's the story of Kariachistan. It's totally true, you know.

Anyway, what else was I going to say?

Oh yeah, one of my new Google keywords is "three tits pictures." What kind of sick person googles this? And why the hell did they think, "Ooh, Cliché Life Stuff, that sounds hot." Whoever you are, you sick freak, you stay away from my site. Although it must be said, "Three tits? Awesome." You know what? I've changed my mind. You weirdos are getting me more hits, so pile in. Three at a time.

That's me done for the day, see you tomorrow.