I woke today in my usual manner. My phone started buzzing to tell me that it was 0700 and that I should get up. I was about to turn my alarm when suddenly "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP" I thought my phone was about to blow up and kill me. I dropped it and ran to a safe distance. Okay, I was in my bed at the time and safe distance meant literally dropping it and being a little freaked out since I couldn't move and couldn't be bothered to try. Anyway, after concluding that my phone wasn't about to explode in my face, I picked it up and saw that it was just telling me that Lauren's birthday is today. It gave me the option to phone or text her, so I went with the kind, less "I'M RINGING YOU AND IT'S REALLY LOUD AND NOW YOU'RE AWAKE AAHAHAHAAHA" method of texting, because I'm nice and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have appreciated a phone call at 0700. Now I came across a dilemma. On my birthday, Lauren sent me a text shout, where she shouted the birthday song at me with words. Uh... everyone uses words, idiot. So I then had to come up with something equally as entertaining and imaginative. I thought for several seconds before I came up with this:
"My phone just beeped at me to tell me that something very special is happening to you today. Yes, you've won out top prize! You're officially 18! Happy birthday, dear, and make sure you have a good one xx"
You're right, I would have done a much better job of that if I hadn't been constrained by the limits of the text messaging service, but with what I had I think that's not half bad. She thanked me for it later on, but I do hope she really appreciated the thought that went into it.
Anyway, it's Wednesday and that means scheduled blog post day, so here it is in all its glory.
First Lesson - Deutsch
Ah, German, what a wonderful lesson. We talked more about what questions the examiner would be asking us about Die Welle in our exam which is in like 5 weeks. That's a very short space of time and I'm not looking forward to it. Anyway, did anything amusing happen? Hmm... not that I remember to be honest, although I did find this:
To infinitive, and beyond!
This is pure humour. It's the best kind of humour, light hearted. It tickles your funny bone, as it were.
Second Lesson - Media
I say Media, but I walked in, got told what to do (research media theorists, which is damn hard because Wikipedia gives an account of their life and their works, but not what the theory that made them famous actually is) and then I went to the library. When in there I found a Dallamore, a Luke and a Sophia, so I decided to hang out with them for a while... and when I say a while I mean the whole lesson. Since there were no free computers available next to them, I ended up not doing any work either. That's the story of this lesson.
Third Lesson - Free
After wasting a lesson doing nothing, I found myself with my Luke, my Dallamore and my Sophia back in the library. Turns out that I don't really have that much work to do, so aside from talking to these three wonderful people I did some Zero-G too. Dallamore got himself a poking stick too, which he used to poke people with. Clue is in the name, really.
Fourth Lesson - My Kids
It seems a while since I did a post with my kids in it, although it is the second Wednesday of term so it's not really that long. Anyway, what happened this lesson was that Casey was pretty much annoying me all lesson. She has a way of making it seem less annoying though, which is odd. It's probably because she's actually doing her work while annoying me, rather than stopping like the other kids do. Damn those kids are annoying. In fact, come to think of it, she was rather odd this lesson. She had a heated bean bag on her stomach which apparently helping with the stomach pain she was having, and it smelled awful. Like a... I don't think any simile is appropriate here. But yeah, she didn't ask me questions about my fake girlfriend (who I've now decided to get rid of because I can't be bothered with it anymore. This means creating an elaborate breakup, and then I can get back to telling the truth) and she also fetched stuff for me from the Gilly Cave like an alan key. She didn't even know what an alan key was before today. I also showed her how to replace a Hegner blade (hence the alan key). Aside from that I heard an odd story from Tetley which I joined at the point of, "Yeah, so we were just joking at first and then it kind of happened from there. Oh no wait, I didn't mean it like that, Peter. I was talking about how I spent the night with Mr Willimott. No, actually, I was talking about how me and Harriet got together." I didn't put breaks in the phrase there because I only interrupted him with the faces you made when you just read that. Exactly. That pretty much sums up today's teaching.
Fifth Lesson - DT
So staying the DT department I got a speech today from my fellow "DTers" (word courtesy of Lottie) about how my project won't work and is shit and the only reason I'm not saying that it won't work myself is because I'm in a battle against miss Ainscow. You know what? I was listening to Emily and Lottie go on about how they hate Lauren (not as in my Lauren, but as in DT Lauren) because she totally bums Miss Ainscow. I now agree with them because they apparently actually talk about my work behind my back. I swear to actual Christ that if Miss Ainscow puts one more toe out of line then I shall destroy her. She's meant to be support, not hinderence. What's the fucking point in her being there if she's just going to tell other students that my project won't work, and not bother sharing the information with me? Seriously? If my product works, then that will prove that I was right all along and she can stick it up her flaming arsehole, and if it doesn't work then I'll jam it down her throat. I now know who to blame.
I've just had the worst epiphany of all time. If I don't get a B in DT, then my future rest on German, which I'm probably not going to get more than a C in. How can I suck this bad? When I did my Uni choices, my offers were all around 300 points and Josh was like, "Is that it? That's easier to get than an Essex girl." So why the fuck am I going to struggle to get it? I consider myself quite clever, if I'm honest with you, so why on Earth is this a challenge? I know DT inside and out, Media theories are spewing out of all of my orifices and ... I'm not that good at German, but I do know the grammar better than almost anyone. How can I sit through exams, eject all of this information onto the page and still get worse than good results? I think I need to come to the realisation that I'm actually an idiot and need to buck up my ideas and turn back time so that I take BTECs instead. Oh no wait, I tried eBusiness, but I failed at it because I suck. I just wish DMU would've given me an unconditional offer based on the fact that my Media coursework is the best thing they'll see in their lifetimes and not care that I'm taking other superfluous subjects that do nothing more for me than make me look at my bed posts and think, "okay so they're made from steel coated with a heavy layer of silver paint so that it doesn't rust. The tubes were all extruded and then joined using the welding process," and "ich kann Deutsch sprechen." Why was even kidding myself with this whole "I'm going be a director" thing? Why am I even kidding myself about this whole De Montford thing? No matter how hard I work, the end result will be the same: I suck.
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