Berlin: Dienstag 08/03

A new day of school was upon us. We met Dana, our teacher for the day, who taught us stuff about the Berliner Mauer. Der Antifastistisches Schutzwall, for those of you watching at home. During school time we went to a memorial place for those shot trying to escape over the wall. The two that got to me were the pictures of the little two year old and the soldier. I bet you're thinking, "Soldiers were made to fight and die though?" Ah, fight and die for their country, dear reader. This soldier was so appalled with the DDR that he threw down his gun and legged it, getting himself shot in the process.

Anyway, a bit of fun I think now. We were standing in the 40m long turf between the 1m high wall and the 4m high aux wall and the 4m high primary wall. Harpreet then took a picture of me running through the aux wall, which is cool. We went into a museum, which was boring, but we climbed up to the top of it where we could see perfectly the 40m wall thing. The aux wall, then a guard tower ("treehouse" - Josh Hilton), then a trench for dogs, and then a minefield before the primary wall. Yeah, they fortified that bitch. It was totally serious.

After that, Herr Nicholls told us about an old WW2 anti-air bunker that is still standing. Josh and I were super interested, so we brought the group to see it. They're flak towers that only two of the four were destroyed before the Allies gave up. They required so much concrete that nothing else in the entire country could be built while they were constructed. Pictures time.

Not even Tommy's bombers could bring this down.

"Okay, so we've got about 3ft by 6ft of space to use... what should we write?"

"Penis."
"Ah mate, that's brilliant!"

Anyway, on the way down Caitlin officially became one of us when made a Westie's testes rhyme.
"Westie's testes are like lard.
Westie's testes make Josh hard."
Wicked, Caitlin, wicked. She also now knows that my semen mixed with mole venom is the elixir of life. Also, Caitlin is now our deity. A lot happened with Caitlin today.

We returned to the Brandenburger Tor and met a chicken. We then did a loop around the Tiergarten and the Angel.

Dukey makes his début

The Brandenburger Tor in all its glory. Now with fewer people!

Putting the sexy back in Pariser Platz

Still incomplete: The Angel with added stolen French cannons

12x optical zoom for the win

We soon ended up at the Reichstag. No, actually, we went to the Pregnant Oyster first. Haus der Kulturen der Welt. Double genetive for the win. Anyway, the Reichstag is currently inaccessible because someone tried to blow it up at Christmas, so that was a shame.

So with that being that we went to the Fernsehturm for Kafee und Kuchen endlich. While we were waiting to go up, Herr Nicholls did us lads a favour by buying the girls flowers (it was Frautag today) and Caitlin and I decided that we need to build a huge tower in England because we don't have on.

The top of the Fernsehturm is just wonderful. The view is spectacular. Our waitress funked up our orders, but when you can see the sunset I'm about to show you, it doesn't really matter.

Sunset inbound

How nice

Also, in the Fernsehturm,
Josh: I'm blind now. Joe is my dog.
Herr Nicholls: Well at least he's not your bitch.
What a legend that bearded man is.

OH FACK. I forgot to say that Josh and I were commenting to Caitlin about her breasts (because she's one of us now, it's totally acceptable) and she dresses down her size. So Josh and I decided we should make a lingerie company called TITS IN YOUR FACE. Just... fill in the gaps yourselves. I don't really need to pitch it to you, do I?

Bis Mittwoch.

Also, Westie wrote this at the bottom: PS. I love men. Okay, that's a joke, only Herr Elimer.
That's a little bit weird, Westie.