The End of Movember

I wanted to get this post out before the start of December, but I wouldn't necessarily say that I was completely ready to do this post yet.

For starters, I haven't done my awesome Movember montage yet, which will be coming soon.
I need to do a vlog about it, but I don't want it to be done here, so I'll have to get it done possibly tonight hopefully.
Oh yeah, the vlog will have to include the awesome Movember montage, so that'll be that. Or I could do them separately. Hmm...
I'll do my Movember montage, upload it, make the vlog, include the montage in the vlog if time constraints allow me, and then it'll all be hunky and dory.

But what has this month meant? Well, because of Movember, millions of monies from all over the world will go towards treating men with prostate and testicular cancer as well as aiding the research that goes into both, as well as other forms of cancer. It naturally doesn't stop at helping to treat men, women, because you get your fair share of help too if you're suffering from cancer.

What I like about it is that it's not a one-time event like a fun-run or a bath of beans or waxing your ball-sac, it is an entire month of raising money, with the potential to make millions, as I've said. It's brilliant. And you know what? I got to take part in it, which is just good.

I've always cursed myself for not doing more for charity. But what could I do? I'm a pathetic whelp who's metabolism is so high that by the end of the day all my energy is used up, and unless I eat something every couple of hours I get really hungry. This makes me unideal for most charity events, which are designed to push people to their limits. Well, I could do it, but my limit is so small that people just wouldn't believe me. Three miles for me is an absolute torture run, so doing the London Marathon is stupid, and in fact the Sport Relief Mile is a bit of a push too.

But for this entire month, I've had dozens upon dozens of people stopping me in the street and asking me, "Are you doing Movember? Good man, you've got a might fine tache going on there." And you know what? That's a pretty good flipping feeling. And let's face it. I do have a might fine tache. It's mo-tastic.

I've raised money and that's pretty damn good. I haven't raised as much as I would've hoped, but I've raised the second most amount of money in the university, so that's better than almost everyone. I suppose when compared to mine, other moustaches just die of embarrassment.

Anyway, thanks to all who donated, and to all who owe me money because I donated money in their honour - I really need the money, because I'm running dry.

Here's the mo-tage:

Pete out.

P.S. I just found out that Movember raised £65,326,800! £15million of which came from the UK! The second most awesome moustache-growing country in the world! (The first being Canada, because they raised £23million, but they're a big country with lots of moustaches, so that's understandable)

Oh Hell...

So last night was Alannah (the Head of Marketing)'s birthday party. It had a punk rock theme. I dressed up and an effort for like the first time in my life.

And then uh... well, umm... this is going to be a short blog post.

Essentially, I got drunk. I got very drunk. I got so drunk that elephants in New Zealand (they're real) turned their backs to me in disgust. And New Zealand is like on the opposite end of the world, so that's how ashamed they were of me. But in any case, to cut a long story short -

Wait. This is Cliché Life Stuff. The very notion of cutting a long story short is completely beyond me.

Let's do this.

So I started drinking and we were all having a great time, and pictures from Facebook will tell you exactly how stupid I was and blah blah etc etc. Eventually I got so bad that I publicly revealed that I like Alannah (no point in tip-toeing around it now) and then after that I apparently managed to lock myself in the bathroom (a task I had not managed to do while I was sober) and chucked my guts up. I then passed out while on the toilet and then I woke up in my bed this morning fully clothed. I don't know how I got here.

Alannah then came over to give me my jacket back and to help me change my bed sheets and I spilled my heart out to her. She also showed me how women change bed sheets, and I can tell you now that I've been doing it wrong for so many years.

I then managed to piece together what happened from her point of view, so let me tell you about it now.

Alannah and James Langley noticed that I was missing, and apparently people were leaving at this point (I think - but don't quote me on this - that it was about 2 in the morning) so they became worried about me. After a short look around, they discovered that I was in the bathroom, but I had somehow locked the door. They asked me to open the door, and either they had to force it open or I opened it for them (putting into question exactly how my brain was functioning at this point) and then they came in. Fred (one of Alannah's friends; everyone knows Fred) and Alannah saying, "Come on Pete! Wake up! You've got to stay awake!" and I said, "... why?" and I don't know if I got an answer. Alannah then de-keyed and de-phoned me and Fred and Langley carried me back to Liberty Park. Alannah was talking to me all throughout the journey, and apparently I was quite cognitive and conversational. I don't know how I managed it, but I told them where I live, I described an entire vlog post to Lannah, and I responded to literally everything they said whether it was directed at me or not. At one point Lannah told me they were discussing some kind of number, I don't remember what the number relates to, but in random response I said, "But that's not my number!" and apparently this was all very hilarious. They then somehow got me into Liberty Park, found my flat, got me into bed, tucked me in and let me sleep. How the hell they managed to get me up the stairs is beyond me.

I honestly don't remember any of that. And now it's 0100 a day later and I'm still feeling the effects of the hangover. As far as I remember I drank 4 pints of cider and about another pint of vodka, which was stupid.

That night I could have easily been the poster-boy for a Drink Aware advert, and I'm not happy with that. I did feel a little bit better after Alannah consoled me earlier, but I vow that I will never be that stupid ever again. I demonstrated my absolute upper limit and could have died.

However, on the plus side I still hold the record for the most hilarious drunk of all time. However, on the flip-side of that statement the word "drunk" is in that title, and therefore nothing to be happy about.

I was an idiot, and I can now absolutely preach the dangers of alcohol. If it weren't for Alannah, Fred and Langley, I could well be in an alcohol-induced coma or something. Hell, I don't know, but I don't want to know what would've happened if I had just stayed dead to the world with my head balanced on the toilet bowl all night.

However, on the bright side my bed looks nicer than it ever has done before.

I've been an absolute idiot.

Pete out.

Cliché Life Stuff: If Shrek were Politically Correct

Cliché Life Stuff: If Shrek were Politically Correct: Hey there, Inside Voice here. I've been trying to think for some time now what fairy tale I could make politically correct next, but Snow...

Have I Changed?

I haven't changed. No, I haven't.
Nope. I haven't, either.
No. Nothing's changed.
Just a change of scenery.
Yeah, and I make my own food now.
Head of Production...
I'm the flipping top gun here.
New friends...
I've figured out ways to make the most tedious of housework quick, easy and yet still tedious.
Procrastination is a biggie.
I've always procrastinated. That's not new at all.

Granite Moths just hit 4000 views!

But yeah, what is it that makes Dukey and Josh think that I am in the least bit different to how I used to be? I am at least one hundred percent still Peter Hutchinson. I'm just a bit more sciencey now. Sciencey in the sense of maths and refraction, not understanding the laws of thermodynamics and gravity. God I hate gravity. Earlier I was soldering on a tuner for my radio (I know, how cool is that?) but the pins for the tuner are so flat and smooth that the solder just ran straight off! In fact, no, it's not gravity I hate, it's surface tension.

Fuckin' science.

That's actually the title of my next movie in which Leonardo DiCaprio grows a wife in a petri-dish and names her after the theory of relativity.

Anyway, moving on. I'm going to read a blog post from before Uni, and then I'm going to read a current one, and then we'll fuckin' notice a difference, won't we?

Yeah.

Okay, so the post from a week before Uni. Entitled: BANG
In it, I talk about myself as an omnipotent super-being, there's a video of the Cookie Monster singing along to Ramstein and there's also a paint job about your head exploding. My language is as I'd expect it to be. Fantastic in every single way.

Okay, so what about a current one? I suppose this post will do.
In what freaking way is it different? The way I have presented myself is exactly the same.
Okay, this isn't fair. Let's take a blog post from a couple of weeks ago, just to get an official comparison.

Blog post title: What a Day
I used my trademarked Whoo! *party pop*
I used Inside Voice, another trademark of mine used well before Uni. The only difference I see is that I mention alcohol in the middle of the day. I've never done that before.

There's nothing. Not one single, solitary difference in the way I wrote it, the way I presented it and indeed the way that I ... I didn't actually have a third thing, I just like to have lists of three.

SEE? That's so me!

I was going to say that there's been a lack of cartoons, and while that may be true, I did make that cartoon about welcoming Ethiopia to the internet, which was pretty cool.

In any case, it's the same down to the pointless one-sentence paragraphs that I occasionally do because they stand out and add depth and shit to the post. Makes me seem more human, and hilarious, and all other kinds of shit.

I want a written report into how I've changed. Because as far as this guy sees it (me), I haven't changed on single bit. Apart from, you know, being the gracious and omnipotent leader of Production at Demon TV. But that's just a minor tweak.

So I leave you with one last thought:

'Da fuck?

Pete out.

Salute to Stupidity 8

Peter Hutchinson to Peter Duke
In a world where time is infinite and our movement is perceived as either infinitely fast or infinitely slow, when getting from one place to another can happen instantly or take an age, in this world it would be acceptable for you to delay doing and sending me Intermission, since release dates wouldn't matter. Everything would be released at the same time an in intervals and also randomly. However, in this world we have to keep to schedules. You've got two days before I fire you.

Peter Duke: Why does the Anti-XFactor Christmas song have to be Nirvana? Can't it be... I dunno... A Christmas song? Slade maybe? Or Let it Snow? Something like that?
Peter H: We should get Little Donkey to the top.
Peter Duke: WE should record it. No no no, it needs to not be a faith thing.
Peter H: You want a Christmas song not about faith? Dude, A: It's a fucking donkey. B: The Romans made the Christmas holiday to join the celebration of the birth of Christ, note: CHRIST, and the winter solstice. It's a flipping holiday centred around FAITH, you close-minded knob-rocket.
Peter Duke: I didn't mean it like that, I meant if it's not about faith, then people from every faith will buy it... not just Christians... (oh he did so not get my point)
Peter H: Then I won't mention to you a good, nay massive, proportion of the world's population is then. But after seeing your point, that's fine. I just want you to see what an idiot you are. So in that case, let's just get Nirvana to the top. Oh wait...
Peter Duke: Let it snow works fine. Or Band Aid, that's about Christmas TIME (again, so not getting my point. If you want to avoid faith, Dukey, you have to call it Winter Holidays like the Americans do. God, you're such a crap atheist) not Christmas itself.
Peter H: No it's not? Band aid is something you use to seal wounds... Bazinga.
Josh: Let's get Walkin' on Sunshing to the top. (Good effort, Josh)

Josh: Are you excited about Nickleback?
Peter H: Not really. Me and new music are like chocolate and steak.
Josh: Best kept off the same plate. Or you both come from Germany.
Peter H: What? Chocolate is Aztec [citation needed]... never mind. But yeah, I do old music. Music like the Rolling Stones, Beethoven's Fifth, Mozart's Twinkle Twinkle. Yeah, you get me.

Alannah: Wish the cool owl outside my window would be quiet for 5 minutes so I can sleep =)!
Peter H: Is he cool because he's wearing sunglasses despite it being dark and because he stuck his middle feather up at you when you told him to be quiet?
Alannah: Haha, no! He is an awesome colour! And not many people have an owl that lives outside their window =) xox
Peter H: You're right. Wish I had an owl. (It's true. I fantasized about having an owl during every French lesson back in year 8 at Brooke Weston). Have you given it a name yet? I think Stephen would be a great name for it, if it were male of course.
Alannah: It's called Wilbert... He looks like a Wilbert =) xox
Peter H: Well it's your owl so I can't judge your poor owl-naming skills.
Alannah: Haha!! It's a wicked name!! So is!! xox
Peter H: S'alright, I guess. But I think we should ask Stephen which name he prefers. And if says, "My name is Bridget," then we'll both be wrong and that'll be that.
Alannah: Haha, so you are naming my owl Stephen? His name is Wilbert, simples =P xox
Peter H: Between you and me, I actually preferred the name Wilbert the moment you said it, but that would make me appear weak, which is why no one can know.
Alannah: Haha, yet you have just posted it on my Facebook status! Haha!! Win win for me!! =) xox
Peter H: Ah hell! You're too cunning for me, Miss Vient.
Alannah: Muah ha ha!! xox

I think I do fixate on owls a little bit much. Do you remember the one about the owl and the crow?

I'm also noticing that I seem to be the focus of hilarity in these Salutes. Hmm... Oh well, I think that just accurately reflects on what kind of a person that I am. Hilarious.

Peter Duke: Get on the right side of the bloody road (see, this quote is stupid because the French do drive on the right), you Gallic fucking garlic bread tossers!
Peter H: Hey, hey, hey! If we're going to insult the French then at least acknowledge the fact that they have done nothing of note for the last hundred years, and that the only thing they can remember how to do effectively is not do a single solitary day's worth of hard work in their entire lives. And you know what? If someone French is reading this and feels insulted, bring it. You hop on over the channel, which will cost you precious time, time in which you could be on the streets outside your office complaining that it smells a little bit like cheese and onion pasties, and then you come and punch me. I feel safe in the knowledge that there is one good reason as to why the French won't invade us. And I've already explained it.
Peter Duke: ^ has never watched Eurotrip. (What's Eurotrip? Is it a car show?)

You remember the video I'm so Ashamed? Here are some of the responses:
Lauren: Literally so much love for this video!! Had me in absolute stitches!!
Sophia: I was kind of half-watching it because I'd already read the blog post and just heard you go "the guy that was doing the photographer." Yeah, so that plus naked photo shoot and my imagination was going places I really didn't want it to go!

Oh, I just found one of my favourite jokes of all time. I physically chuckle every time I read it.

Peter H: ‎Stanley Ashton, Ben 'Ahmed' Cotton, James Langley, Alannah Vient Just read the minutes from the last meeting, and I couldn't help but wonder what on Earth a naked colander is. Is it a colander that just has one massive hole? ... Well I thought it was funny.
Alannah: You... haha, that made me giggle! At least I can publicly admit I liked it! =D! x
Langley: I was waiting for someone else to comment.
Stan the Man with a Plan: ok thanks guys its good know face book will tell of mistakes that are made :) (for your amusements, I deliberately left the mistakes in that paragraph. Usually I correct them for my comfort, but this time I thought I'd treat you)
Peter H: I'm not gonna lie, I chuckle every time I read it. It's a brilliant joke, it must be said.

Let's see if I've got any more of these crackers lying around. Just the one.

Peter H: As Head of Production for Demon TV, I'm always finding new and interesting ways for technology to piss me off.

I feel like that's a good one-liner to end on.

Cliché out.

Housekeeping

I haven't posted in a while and there's a very good reason for that. Firstly, I was home for the weekend and that probably doesn't warrant any kind of update. I was basically looking around PC World with my Dad to find me a suitable video camera to film my future shenanigans on.

Umm, I suppose I should clarify what the fuck happened last Wednesday/Thursday. I did enjoy myself an immense amount, but it was also the stupidest thing to do ever. If I had my wits about me then I'd have left when everyone else did, and walked with them for as long as possible. In this instance, I did leave with everyone else, but I was totally alone for about ten minutes. During these ten minutes I was on top of the world and egging to get my camera out (probably), but the point is that at any moment during these ten minutes I could have been mugged, raped or otherwise wounded and I wouldn't have given a shit. On me at the time I had at least £300 worth of stuff which would have just vanished, and worst of all I'd have lost pictures. I know they don't cost anything, but pictures are completely irreplaceable. Anyway, I'm just going to make a mental note to myself to walk home with Alannah on Demon nights just because she lives closest to me (or indeed I should walk with someone from my halls if they go).

I know I might sound like a sour puss, but I was genuinely an idiot, and I don't condone the consumption of alcohol one bit.

You are right, however, I'm not going to listen to my advice either. I am still going to go out, and I am still going to get drunk because life without a little bit of relaxant once in a while is just dull.

Note to self over.

You may notice that there isn't an accompanying video to this post. Well that's because I noticed something. I do like the idea of spreading my word through mouth as well as through text, but I don't want people to stop visiting www.clichelifestuff.blogspot.com just because they can watch me read my blog.

So, what I propose is that while I will continue to do some posts spoken, I will definitely try and vlog while things are happening, or just after, just to get the word on the door and then I can comment on it later with the appropriate memories still in place (namely: the vlog).

So that's what I'm going to do. The blogs and the vlogs will be related, sometimes they won't, but I'm going to try and put an end to reading stuff out unless it needs to be read aloud in my voice. Kind of like that time when I wrote about the polar bear and the dolphin. Christ, that was hilarious.

Do I not get a say in what happens?
Nope. You embarrassed me in the first official blog post entry.
You were asking for it. You're always asking for it.
God, what's that noise? It sounds like the fucking D-day landings. Must be a student night.
Don't change the subject!
But it's a Monday... student nights are Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and occasionally Sundays. And sometimes Mondays and Tuesdays as well.
I guess you could pin it down to the fact that it will always be noisy all the time.
You could say that, yes.
I'm glad we agree.
It's not often that happens.

Anyway, yes, I know I haven't been particularly hilarious tonight, so I'm just going to write another post with a small dose of Salute to Stupidity.

Cliché out. (I've decided to change the outro to make it blatantly more cliché)

I Shouldn't Be Allowed to Drink

I had this massively awesome plan where I was going to upload a video, but then I realised that I can't be fucked to wait for it to render.

Boo-fucking-hoo.

Either way, I had a great night, despite clubs still being the shittest place in the world. Although I did learn that with female company, they're not actually that bad. So long as the free alcohol kept coming my way.

Christ that was weird. I was standing with the DSU president and David Winter, and Winter pissed off somewhere, leaving his large bottle of alcoholic beverage that I still to this moment don't know what it is, with Liam Davies, the DSU president. Liam then looked at me and handed me the bottle, and I drank it. It could have been poison. So easily. In one swift movement, David Winter could've killed me.

I did have a funny text conversation with Alannah though. She's the head of marketing. Fun times.

Anyway, when I can be bothered to upload the video tomorrow, I'm sure I will. But now it's 4 in the morning and therefore time to at least get at least some shut eye before tomorrow officially begins yesterday.

Unscramble that one, bitches. And while you're at it, unscramble those eggs that you just scrambled. HAH. YOU CAN'T. YOU'RE WORTHLESS. HAHAHAHAHA.

Uhum.

Pete out.

What the fuck is all this about? I don't remember writing this. Although the title is indeed correct. I must have taken immense care when writing all this, though, because normally my spelling and grammar is all over the place when I'm drunk. Wait, there's a video? Crap. Let me just find it. Christ, this is stupid. 

Holy hell. I really don't want to show this. I mean, it's not terrible. It's just not... good. There was 10 minutes of video, even after it seems that I "edited" it, but it showed me looking at things on Facebook, and walking into my building, so I had to edit it down even more so I didn't get arrested or reveal personal details about someone accidentally. 

I really don't want to upload it. I might have it as unlisted so I can only share it here and to only people I want to see it. Yes, that sounds like a good idea. It'll be the first official Cliché Life Stuff Easter Egg. How much more Cliché could I get? That's a point then, it's labelled so far as Vlog #3, but I don't want it to be, so I'm going to change it to... an unlisted post. Yeah, that's a good idea.

I'm so sorry. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMkymB8_0xA&feature=youtu.be

You should feel honoured; that's an Easter Egg. No one freely tells you how to find their Easter Eggs.

Pete out.

I'm So Ashamed.

I don't ... I don't even know where to begin.

I umm... God, I don't want to say this.

Okay, I'll just blurt it out at some random point during the blog and then I guess I'll be able to talk about it.

So how are you today?
Uhuh.
Yeah.
Oh that's cool.
Oh really?
Wow, I'm so jealous.
A dolphin?
Really?
My god.

You know, I actually have a funny story about a dolphin. No, really, I do.

You see, there was this dolphin and a polar bear. And I know what you're thinking, "How could a polar bear and a dolphin ever meet? Polar bears live in the Arctic and dolphins live at Waterworld in Florida." Be that as it may, there was a particular dolphin and a particular polar bear who just happened to be in the same place at the same time. In fact, they were at their local shopping centre. Americans call them malls. Anyway, they were buying hats. The dolphin saw this really flamboyant, pink, flowery number and tried it on and the polar bear said, "Oh hey, girl, how you doin'?"
And so the dolphin said, "My name is Gary."
"Ah, my mistake. You see, it was because of -"
"You're going to say, 'because of the hat' aren't you?"
"Well, it is kind of - "
"What? Come on, say it."
"Feminine."
"Feminine eh? How about we see how feminine you are when I bite your nuts off?"
"Don't you think that's a little extreme? I just don't think it suits you."
"Well what would you suggest, white boy?"
"Maybe a nice straw hat or... or a skull."
"Skull, eh? That does sound more to my taste."
"Oh... good."
"You're alright, Barry."
"My name is Tom."
"Tom the polar bear? Nah, that's ridiculous."
"What's wrong with Tom? Barry isn't a good polar bear name either."
"Sure it is. Barry the polar bear, here for your service, you could say. It'd make you sound more... handy."
"Handy?"
"Yeah, like a handyman."
"But I'm a polar bear. Plumbing isn't exactly in my repertoire."

Anyway, all the while they were having this discussion some poachers had spotted them and aimed for the polar bear, in order to harvest its delicious meat and its warm fur.

"All I'm saying is, you'd just seem more friendly."
"But I'm a polar bear. I'm big and scary!"
"Nah, you're all cute and cuddly, you are."

The crosshairs fell on the polar bear's neck, an easy target for the well-rehearsed poacher who was conveniently in a shopping centre with his rifle on the same day as a polar bear and a dolphin. This was also the day in which no one appeared to notice a dude with a gun in the middle of a public place, nor the fact that two endangered species were just wandering around like they owned the place. These reasons just added to the already numerous list that the poacher was forming in his head in order to justify killing the massive beast.

His finger squeezed on the trigger, and the poacher caught the dolphin's eye at the last moment as the bullet left the barrel of the rifle.

"Barry!"

The dolphin threw himself in front the polar bear, his flowery pink hat flying off in the process. The bullet collided with his gut, forcing the dolphin into a premature landing that would have certainly killed him quicker. The polar bear was speechless as the dolphin flopped in front of him, the scarlet liquid oozing from the entry wound. The polar bear snarled, pitched his nose and followed the scent back to the poacher. The poacher made a break for it, but fortunately the kung-fu panda was there and kicked him square in the how's your mothers. The kung-fu panda stepped aside, and the polar bear ripped the poacher to shreds. Because, you know, polar don't have morals. They don't give you second chances. They're bears. And at the end of the day, that just means that they're going to kill you. Because they're bears. And bears kill people. All the time. If you piss a bear off, by say, killing a dolphin in front of him while they were having a perfectly nice conversation, then it will kill you.

I guess the moral of the story is to not piss off bears. It's also that anyone can wear pink, flowery hats and not be ashamed of it.

I WAS IN A NAKED PHOTOSHOOT.

Whew, I'm glad that's out there.

Don't worry, it's for charity, and there were plenty of people there so it wasn't weird at all.

I will tell you though, that after the second or third photo, the photographer had to re-position one of the lights because apparently my chest hair was too reflective. How hilarious.

Other than that, everything's fine. Beer Goggles Dodgeball shoot tomorrow, which'll be fun.

Okay, I think that's it, really.

Pete out.

Cliché Vlog Stuff

Oh, hey audience, I didn't see you there. This is the long-anticipated and much-needed introduction and official first entry to my brilliant and oh-so-fantastic vlog that you've been hearing so little about.

If you're already an avid reader of Cliché Life Stuff, then the format of these vlog posts will be pretty understandable for you. It will seem obvious what I'm doing. I'm basically putting forward the concept of writing a blog, repeating it into a camera and then posting that video on YouTube and sharing it on the blog. I don't know whether or not to put the video at the top or bottom of the post yet, so I'll trial the top today and the bottom... whenever I next vlog and then you can post a comment to tell me which way round you like it. Because I'm lazy, I will do exactly what the first person tells me to do, so if you have a particular preference; get your comment in quick!

Moving on, today I spat in a cup.

I'm not going to talk about it here because Cliché Life Stuff and VideoCutters teamed up today to bring you this vlog post: (see video)

If you are unable to view the video due to internet restrictions; tough.

I hope you enjoyed that video.

Ah man, you know what's great about doing a video log? There is no way in hell that Inside Voice can possibly have any say. It's going to be brilliant.
That's what you think, sucker.
What? No! You can't do this! How is this happening?
I'm more powerful than you could have ever imagined.
But you're just my thoughts! The things that I dare not say out loud!
Am I a voice?
No.
Exactly, I remain text on a screen. I don't see how you aren't understanding this.
Because I didn't put the text in the video!
Do you put this text in your blog of your own volition?
No...
Same principle, jack-ass.
I hate you.
Get over it.
I'm going to move on.

So, it's day twelve of Movember, and therefore there are still plenty of days left for you to donate! To donate click on the link at the bottom of the video and then click donate. It's quick; it's easy, and it could save someone's life.

But look at my moustache. Towards the end of the month I could be styling this bad boy.

Anyway, I think I've said all I need to say.

Pete out.

What a Day

I don't think I know where to begin.

Well, first off, I'm now officially the Head of Production for Demon TV. Whoo! *Party pop*

In fact, this is how I broke the news to my favourite guys and gals: 

"Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that the station manager just texted me to tell me that I am now the head of Production for Demon TV and it will be officially announced tomorrow at the pre-production meeting :)

Also, if you haven't donated to me yet, I'd really appreciate it if you did xx"

Oh yeah, that is right. I was told by text. No banquet, no ceremony, a text message. It was a nice text message, I'll give you that. In fact, I'll share it with you.

"Hi Peter, well done in your interview today and well done on getting the job of head of production. Thanks. Stanley Ashton. Demon TV Deputy Station Manager."

Oh yeah, it wasn't even the actual station manager. It was his bitch. But that's okay, I'm not complaining. I love those guys and I'm really grateful to them for giving me the job.

Anyway, I then naturally received a plethora of congrats:

Bekah: "Whoop whoop! Well done Hutch! Congratulations are well deserved. X"

Joe: "Well done mate, climbing the ladder already, that means you can be the first to the top and then push the ladder over so no one can follow, muwahahahahaha."

Lauren: "CONGRATS!!!!! Xxx"

Josh: "Well done mate, dead proud of you, as inevitable as this was XD"

As to the ones who haven't responded: Tut tut. 

Anyway, I was thrown into the deep end straight away. The next morning I was in DSU setting up cameras and meeting the Head of Marketing, whose name is ... Lanah? Something like that. Uhum, this was all in preparation for holding an interview with the mayor of Leicester. Cool, huh? As a first job, I thought it was pretty good. Of the hands to shake and introductions I did get to make as cameraman, I felt really cool. "Hi, I'm Peter, the Head of Production at Demon TV" and naturally I got all sorts of comments about rolling out the best to make sure everything worked properly, and I obviously looked flattered. On the inside, of course though, I was more like "Yeah. The fucking best. You heard him, plebeians. The best. That's what I am. I know you all know it, because I make it apparent every time I'm in the room, but this is just confirmation from the most important people in the city. Suck on that, rivals for my position." Anyway, yeah, we met the mayor and had an interview with him, which was pretty cool. 

So that ended at about half 1, I went to my Photoshop lab, finished the work in 20 minutes, other people were looking like they were almost ready to leave, so I left, making it snobbishly apparent that I'm fucking awesome at Media, had a pint with the Head of Pre-Production, and then we had our first Demon TV management meeting. Exciting stuff. We talked about things that were going on, and things that were going to happen, and our goals, and the [redacted for being inappropriate and rude] and sorry I went off on a tangent and now I've completely lost my train of thought and yet I'm still rambling on through this sentence to make you hopefully forget that I'm a pathetic, lonely weirdo :)

I don't often do smileys. 

But yeah, that meeting went well, and soon it was time to go to the still image lecture. Because I and James Langley (the Head of Pre-Production) had a busy day ahead of us doing all sorts of Demon TV-related things, we left at the half-way break, went to the pub, had dinner, and then went to the Pre-Production meeting. 

So where are we now? I've written about the time between 1230 and 1800. In the Pre-p meeting we talked about the upcoming quiz show some more, we talked about the shorts that we should do, stuff about the Demon TV hoodies came up and uh... yeah. I think the name for the quiz show should be "In One Ear" because that's a fucking awesome name for a quiz show, and is better than my other ideas of "Quizzicle" and "Quizardry" because they both have the word 'quiz' in the title, and that's just not imaginative. But all my ideas are cool. I also suggested (see, I'm fucking awesome at this media thing) that we also do something for Movember, and the idiot sitting next to me was just an idiot. I'm not even going to go into it. He was just an idiot. 

Anyway, at 1900, James and I went into Level 1 and set up cameras ready for Footlights First Footsteps! Yeah! I'm sure that doesn't actually mean anything to you. Well, it was a stand-up comedy night, and I got to film it! It was cool. Stan the Man (the man with a plan... I mean the Deputy Station Manager) went up on stage and did a cracking good performance, as did one of my flatmates. Which was odd, because he was the hermit. I'm sure you've all got a flatmate whom you seem to never see anywhere. Well now I can tell you where they are. They're doing flipping stand up comedy. 

Anyway, I wasn't home until 2300 that night because I had to de-rig the cameras. And that is the story of why I titled my blog post in the way I did. 

Pete out. 

Fizz Fizz Bang Smoke Blind Bang

Let me just have your attention for a second.

WWW.MOBRO.CO/PETERHUTCHINSON

Let me just remind you of that link again. www.mobro.co/peterhutchinson

That's the link (twice) to my mobro page. I've started my campaign now. Sponsor me. Please. It's for a good cause, so you know, you'd be a good person if you sponsored my mo. 

Anyway, let's get on with things. 

Seriously, donate money. 

But yeah, this weekend was of vital significance, for this was the weekend of the Annual Hilton Firework Extravaganza featuring the likes of: Josh and his family, his family friends, his neighbours, Lexi Adams (the librarian at our old school) and of course Rufus the family dog. Oh, and a whole lot of explosives.

Anyway, this all began on the evening of Friday the fourth, when Josh arrived at Leicester station, I popped along to the platform, and after some kerfuffle we got the train to Kettering and even manage to scrounge some first class seats. That's a win.

The next day was great. At about 1400 hours I met Bekah and we had a pint, and then we went to get my hair cut. It's now cut.

Ah hell, I'll have to finish this update later. My room is cold and my hands don't have enough blood in them to keep up this typing thing, so I'm just going to cuddle up in bed and probably realise that I should turn my radiator on.

So, it's Monday now. And that means I've got to finish the story.

After I hugged Bekah goodbye Dukey and Josh took me to Josh's Isham house where we started to set up for the firework extravaganza. Dukey and Josh went to collect ice-cream from Tesco, and so I was tasked with moving some furniture around the garden. After this we played some Horde on Gears 3, and that was all well and good, but much less important than the impending chilli. I seem to be having chilli a lot these days. In fact, I'm having chilli tonight for dinner.

Anyway, before too long it was time to set up the Feuerwerken for the display. Josh stuck things in the ground, he lit them, we ran away, I got my camera ready, stuff exploded, I took some pictures, we ran up, I disposed of the firework casing, Josh stuck something else in the ground, lit it, we ran away, I set up my camera, stuff exploded, I took some pictures, and so on and so forth until we ran out of explosives.

We soon lit some Catherine Wheels, one of which completely failed.

So it all turned out to be rather spectacular and gave my camera a run for its money. Josh and Dukey then decided that it would be a wonderful idea to build a firework. I naturally helped with scepticism, as I always do when Josh gets it in his head that he wants to build a bomb. I've got to say though, of the two we built, one was very successful.

I'll share the video when I have uploaded it to the interwebs.

Pete out.

First of Many Changes

Look up. You can see a new banner. Pretty cool isn't it?

This is just an experiment with what I can do with my blog. I'll admit here and now that that banner doesn't fit in with the theme of the blog at all. If I want to keep the original theme of orange and grey, then I'm obviously going to have to change the colours of that, or indeed change the colours of the blog to match.

Still though, first attempt. I'll paste it here.

I like it, but it could be better. With that first thing off the ground, can you please just get your fricking thinking caps on and give me at least some idea where to head with this?

I'm not a magic man, you know. Even if I do have cans full of it.

Banner Alterations: 

I like this one.

Pete out.

Movember

No, that was a misspelling. It's Movember. It's a combination of the words "moustache" and "November". Basically, this month men around the world are fighting against prostate cancer by growing moustaches and raising money. So starting from now, I'm not going to shave my moustache for an entire month. I was supposed to trim it yesterday so that it wouldn't be ridiculously long for the end of the month, but never mind. I would pointlessly vlog this post in order to show you my moustache at the moment, but it's in SD so it'd be too shit to see the stage of growth, so I'll take a picture, downsize it and upload it here for your eyes to see. Maybe.

Obviously I'm not just in this for the moustache. And I know I don't have any real world influence to actually properly raise awareness of prostate cancer, especially since my moustache isn't that impressive.

Yeah, as you can see, my mo isn't very impressive. But give it a month and it'll be at a length I've never let my mo or my beard grow to before, so let's just see what happens.

In any case, visit uk.movember.com for more details. Cancer is a bitch, and Movember is one of the more inventive ways I've found of people raising awareness for it.

Huh, that's an odd way of thinking about things. I suppose I should clarify that because I just had a thought and didn't share it with you. Women like doing fun-runs and lots of physical activities to raise awareness and help combat breast cancer in order to show that they're not kitchen-dwellers, so men thought "Ah, but doesn't that mean getting up? Oh shut up woman, I'll shave later... I'd look great with a moustache though... Idea!" And so men created the laziest, but definitely the most thought-out and best publicised way of raising money for charity.

Aren't men just so clever?

Anyway, earlier... yesterday because it's now tomorrow and therefore today is yesterday and yeah you get it. I forgot what I was saying. Oh yeah! We were filming our new cooking show, Dining with Demon, and now in my possession I have one of these:

It's worth £2500 and I love it. I've also practically been appointed head cameraman and I'm pretty sure that any Demon TV set without me on it would crumble to shreds because I'm awesome like that. Oh, and I could become head of Production soon anyway, so that could just cement my title. I feel like I've mentioned that before... Anyway, all of this sparked off this vlog, which I've aptly titled as episode 0 because I'm still not happy with that being the start of my vlogs.

I managed to sort out the sound this time by converting it to an MP4, but converting sound in video is always a bitch so the levels might be a bit off, but next time that'll be solved by me just capturing straight into MP4.

Anyway, I think I'm done here. If you're a man, take part in Movember. If you're a woman, marvel at our wonderful moustaches. If you're a man and can't grow a moustache, stop taking those oestrogen tablets.

Pete out.