Monday 27 August 2012
Granite Moths - Entry #54
Yeah... I'm not doing too well at the whole non-video post thing right now. I'm sorry. I'm just neck-deep in video work and playing games. What's missing is the whole "my day" post things. Maybe I'll start doing those again.
Anyway, this week's Granite Moths is actually pretty funny, so you should definitely check it out. P tries his hand at knitting, Jim finds the DVDs, and then the mystery of whatever happened to Alec and Jim all those years ago starts to unravel itself.
Ooh, the tension is building.
I do wish Marble Hornets would get the fuck off their arses and make some videos already so we don't awkwardly catch up with them.
Pete out.
Thursday 23 August 2012
WATCH GRANITE MOTHS
The title says it all really. But I'll tell you what, I filmed this yesterday because I was go-karting today. And my shit, it was hella fun. Like the most fun in a motorised vehicle you can have. There's literally no consequence for crashing. Maybe whiplash, but I didn't get whiplash so it's cool.
Uh... Yeah.
Pete out.
Tuesday 21 August 2012
Granite Moths Season 3!
Look at that! The new season of Granite Moths has officially begun! P is still trying to unravel the mystery of Slenderman, Alec and the Maskies, and he has managed to find Jim again. But where will this lead?
Granite Moths is fucking fun, and if you haven't watched it yet, I recommend you go back to the beginning of Marble Hornets, watch it, and then go to the beginning of Granite Moths and watch it. It's fucking great, I'm telling you.
Pete out.
Saturday 18 August 2012
HIGH FIVE CHALLENGE
This challenge made me feel like an absolute idiot. Seriously, it was stupid. It meant I had to interact with people whom I'd normally look at in disgust. Chavs. Chavs everywhere. Anyway, I thought this was quite a cool little social experiment. The number of people who looked at me as if I was retarded was astounding, and there were even some chavs who were like, "What the fuck..." and Joe was like, "Give him a high five" and the chav was like, "No!" as if giving a high five was one of the worst affronts to their personal space ever.
Either way, I'm not actually a massive fan of high fives anyway. People use them to congratulate, and I'm just like, "For god's sake" especially, for some reason, with the completely unlikeable nerds who just seem to want to touch me. In fact, I'll let Inside Voice give you an example.
Nerd: "Great video this week, Pete!"
Outside Voice: "Huh, oh yeah, thanks. It was alright I guess."
Inside Voice: "Who the hell do you think you are? What was your name again? Oh yeah, that's right, I don't care because you took a media degree because you couldn't get into whatever science or maths-based degree was your first choice. Stupid moron."
Nerd: "High five!"
Outside Voice: "... yeah..."
Inside Voice: "Oh god. Oh crap. I should have seen this coming. Kill it! Kill it with fire!"
*I place my hand gingerly in the air and the dickhead slaps it with all his might, as feeble as that may be*
Inside Voice: "Ewww, sweat. That's disgusting. Now I'm going to have to get my hand baptised. How do these people get so clammy? Just eww."
Nerd: "Haha, logo!"
Inside Voice: "YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! ONLY I AND MY CLOSEST FRIENDS CAN SAY THAT! IT'S A WITCH! QUICK, TO THE LOGO CAVE! Balalanadadanah."
I guess this is what I get for having fans who don't respect boundaries and happen to be friends with the fans that I actually like. Sigh.
Pete out.
Wednesday 15 August 2012
Cliché Theories: Poseidon
This is, fortunately or unfortunately, another nonsense theory. I don't come up with a lot of serious theories, but my nonsense theories are too good to be ignored.
As you may or may not know, I don't particularly like swimming or being in water, especially the ocean. This is because of reasons that I can't be bothered, and are too personal to place on the internet. Anyway, it is also a known fact that humans aren't built for swimming. Sure, they can do it, but it takes a shit load of effort and we certainly can't breathe underwater. In fact, we're so shit at swimming that we've had to build apparatus to help us do this tedious activity.
But why on Earth do we yearn so much to dunk our quite frankly terribly evolved bodies into the ocean? Why would we want to be in the sea so badly?
By the way, if you're still thinking that this is serious, you might want to turn away. It's about to get downright silly.
Humans were once amphibious creatures.
See?
Thousands and millions of years ago, before we'd evolved to throw sticks at mammoths, we lived in the oceans. We had gills and webbed extremities. We were happy and content. Feasting on the fish of the world. And of course, because the human race is quite slender, and because of our many appendages that were adapted for swimming, we were bloody quick while zipping around the seabed, avoiding predators. It is also, of course, within our nature to build weapons to compensate for our lack of physical strength, so we had the shark hunting thing down. Well, I suppose it would have been aquatic dinosaur hunting back then, but you get the idea.
In fact, there was quite the unbalance in the oceans. So much so that the Water God, Poseidon, got really pissed off at us and told us to get the fuck out of the oceans. Naturally we had a bit of an argument with Poseidon, and this ended up being the Great Oceanic Wars which eventually ended in the extinction of the aquatic dinosaurs. What, you really thought that an ash cloud and a bit of a chill was going to wipe out all of the water species as well? Hah, you moron.
I would like to take this moment to remind you that anything and everything I have said up to this point, and further on, within this blog post, is all complete bullshit. Apart from the bit at the start stating that the following is bullshit. And this bit as well. But everything after this bit is bullshit again.
So yeah, while we did manage to wipe out the greatest hunters that have ever lived in the Biggest War Ever (the colloquial title of the Great Oceanic Wars), Poseidon was clearly not a god to be trifled with, and he managed to kick out each and every single one of the human race.
Things were looking bad. We had to evolve quickly to survive. Humans had left the oceans before, and so they could breathe, but did eventually have to go back into the oceans to survive. Luckily, many children were born without gills for some unexplained reason. Call it adapting to survive or some shit like that. Also, quite luckily, these children were born near the current evolution of primates, and so when the aquatic humans did eventually die, the children were left in safe hands. You know, the ones who weren't eaten.
So the children grew up with the primates and eventually evolved to no longer have webbed hands and feet and started walking properly and adapted their technique of making weapons and tools to survive in the big bad world of land. Societies formed once more, and we forgot about the oceans for thousands of years.
Until some plonker decided to explore other continents. I mean, he couldn't wait for the invention of planes, could he? No. Why would it even be a he? Because in those times women were subjugated and treated as baby factories. Fit to purpose and all that *cough cough* Whoa, who said that? Sexist bigot. God, some people, eh?
I'm getting off-topic. Some absolute dickweed decided to visit other continents, and so he precariously stepped into the sea, and instantly realised that there was no way to propel himself. In fact, he could barely keep himself afloat. He felt uneasy, but he was spurred on by his want to explore the world. He saw a piece of bark floating not so far away and he came up with an idea. He grabbed onto the piece of bark and kicked himself from the land and willed himself to carry on to places unknown.
He drowned.
The bark wasn't buoyant enough. After-all, it was just a bit of bark.
But the other humans were inspired. They cut down trees and created rafts. However, they were not very stable and they noticed that when it rocked the raft would simply tip and the occupying human would drown. They then compensated for this, and now the rafts were bowl-shaped and were much more capable of staying afloat and battling the waves. But they would get nowhere quickly, and one clever clogs added a bow so that it would cut through the waves. They decided that the name "raft" would not do for this invention, and chose to call it a "boat" for some reason.
Or, you know, whatever "boat" is in cave-speak.
With these newfangled "boats" they then thought to create paddles so they could propel themselves through the water. Soon these boats got bigger, and larger so that they could carry extra food. These boats soon became to tiring to paddle, so the humans decided to add large sheets of cloth to the boats to harness the power of the wind. They called the sheets "sails" and this new, awesome invention a "ship". Soon, they reached other continents and spread around the world, forging the way for the magnificent planet that we are today.
The human race was, once again, water-borne.
This pissed off Poseidon a bit, because the humans started fishing again, but he couldn't actually do anything about it since they weren't technically in the water. He then enlisted the help of the God of Thunder, Thor to invent storms to try and kill the humans while they were at sea.
Everything's starting to make sense now, right? The largest ship ever made, Titanic (at the time, that's not really true anymore) sank on its maiden voyage. Why? Because Poseidon was pissed off that humans had created an even larger vessel.
And yes, I am completely aware that I just mixed Greek and Norse mythology. So what? This entire post is insane anyway. Get the fuck over it.
Anyway, that pretty much explains why things are as they are today. But of course, at some point, some titbox decided that it would a good idea to find out what was underneath the water's surface. Did he learn nothing from his ancestry? Either way, that paved way for the invention of flippers and oxygen tanks and goggles and breathers and shit.
So there you go, the human race is not built to swim or be in water. And that is exactly why I will not go in the ocean unaided. Poseidon wants to kill us. Well I for one won't let him. You happy now? I've explained it.
Right, that's that.
Pete out.
As you may or may not know, I don't particularly like swimming or being in water, especially the ocean. This is because of reasons that I can't be bothered, and are too personal to place on the internet. Anyway, it is also a known fact that humans aren't built for swimming. Sure, they can do it, but it takes a shit load of effort and we certainly can't breathe underwater. In fact, we're so shit at swimming that we've had to build apparatus to help us do this tedious activity.
But why on Earth do we yearn so much to dunk our quite frankly terribly evolved bodies into the ocean? Why would we want to be in the sea so badly?
By the way, if you're still thinking that this is serious, you might want to turn away. It's about to get downright silly.
Humans were once amphibious creatures.
See?
Thousands and millions of years ago, before we'd evolved to throw sticks at mammoths, we lived in the oceans. We had gills and webbed extremities. We were happy and content. Feasting on the fish of the world. And of course, because the human race is quite slender, and because of our many appendages that were adapted for swimming, we were bloody quick while zipping around the seabed, avoiding predators. It is also, of course, within our nature to build weapons to compensate for our lack of physical strength, so we had the shark hunting thing down. Well, I suppose it would have been aquatic dinosaur hunting back then, but you get the idea.
In fact, there was quite the unbalance in the oceans. So much so that the Water God, Poseidon, got really pissed off at us and told us to get the fuck out of the oceans. Naturally we had a bit of an argument with Poseidon, and this ended up being the Great Oceanic Wars which eventually ended in the extinction of the aquatic dinosaurs. What, you really thought that an ash cloud and a bit of a chill was going to wipe out all of the water species as well? Hah, you moron.
I would like to take this moment to remind you that anything and everything I have said up to this point, and further on, within this blog post, is all complete bullshit. Apart from the bit at the start stating that the following is bullshit. And this bit as well. But everything after this bit is bullshit again.
So yeah, while we did manage to wipe out the greatest hunters that have ever lived in the Biggest War Ever (the colloquial title of the Great Oceanic Wars), Poseidon was clearly not a god to be trifled with, and he managed to kick out each and every single one of the human race.
Things were looking bad. We had to evolve quickly to survive. Humans had left the oceans before, and so they could breathe, but did eventually have to go back into the oceans to survive. Luckily, many children were born without gills for some unexplained reason. Call it adapting to survive or some shit like that. Also, quite luckily, these children were born near the current evolution of primates, and so when the aquatic humans did eventually die, the children were left in safe hands. You know, the ones who weren't eaten.
So the children grew up with the primates and eventually evolved to no longer have webbed hands and feet and started walking properly and adapted their technique of making weapons and tools to survive in the big bad world of land. Societies formed once more, and we forgot about the oceans for thousands of years.
Until some plonker decided to explore other continents. I mean, he couldn't wait for the invention of planes, could he? No. Why would it even be a he? Because in those times women were subjugated and treated as baby factories. Fit to purpose and all that *cough cough* Whoa, who said that? Sexist bigot. God, some people, eh?
I'm getting off-topic. Some absolute dickweed decided to visit other continents, and so he precariously stepped into the sea, and instantly realised that there was no way to propel himself. In fact, he could barely keep himself afloat. He felt uneasy, but he was spurred on by his want to explore the world. He saw a piece of bark floating not so far away and he came up with an idea. He grabbed onto the piece of bark and kicked himself from the land and willed himself to carry on to places unknown.
He drowned.
The bark wasn't buoyant enough. After-all, it was just a bit of bark.
But the other humans were inspired. They cut down trees and created rafts. However, they were not very stable and they noticed that when it rocked the raft would simply tip and the occupying human would drown. They then compensated for this, and now the rafts were bowl-shaped and were much more capable of staying afloat and battling the waves. But they would get nowhere quickly, and one clever clogs added a bow so that it would cut through the waves. They decided that the name "raft" would not do for this invention, and chose to call it a "boat" for some reason.
Or, you know, whatever "boat" is in cave-speak.
With these newfangled "boats" they then thought to create paddles so they could propel themselves through the water. Soon these boats got bigger, and larger so that they could carry extra food. These boats soon became to tiring to paddle, so the humans decided to add large sheets of cloth to the boats to harness the power of the wind. They called the sheets "sails" and this new, awesome invention a "ship". Soon, they reached other continents and spread around the world, forging the way for the magnificent planet that we are today.
The human race was, once again, water-borne.
This pissed off Poseidon a bit, because the humans started fishing again, but he couldn't actually do anything about it since they weren't technically in the water. He then enlisted the help of the God of Thunder, Thor to invent storms to try and kill the humans while they were at sea.
Everything's starting to make sense now, right? The largest ship ever made, Titanic (at the time, that's not really true anymore) sank on its maiden voyage. Why? Because Poseidon was pissed off that humans had created an even larger vessel.
And yes, I am completely aware that I just mixed Greek and Norse mythology. So what? This entire post is insane anyway. Get the fuck over it.
Anyway, that pretty much explains why things are as they are today. But of course, at some point, some titbox decided that it would a good idea to find out what was underneath the water's surface. Did he learn nothing from his ancestry? Either way, that paved way for the invention of flippers and oxygen tanks and goggles and breathers and shit.
So there you go, the human race is not built to swim or be in water. And that is exactly why I will not go in the ocean unaided. Poseidon wants to kill us. Well I for one won't let him. You happy now? I've explained it.
Right, that's that.
Pete out.
Friday 10 August 2012
SEX AND PARKOUR
So this week I decided to let random people decide what my topic should be, and as fun as that was... I probably shouldn't have done. Watch me talk about sex and do some Parkour.
Did you know that Parkour is the French martial art of running away? Yeah, interesting isn't it?
Very interesting.
Oh well, I suppose it keeps them from striking in the streets all day.
Pete out.
THE OLYMPIZZLES
So with the Olympics in full swing in London, Pizzle decided to get together a rag-tag group of gangsters for the first ever Gangster Olympics! Now, with the limited number of actual gangsters in the UK, and with most of them being either A: Too bored or B: Too lazy to show up, this was pretty much a battle fought between three competitors.
But who will win? Will our brave hero survive?
Huh, I just described Pizzle as a brave hero. He is neither brave, nor has he ever saved anybody, so that comment has actually been rendered moot.
Either way, it's a good video and you should watch it for its entertainment value.
Pete out.
Thursday 2 August 2012
CLICHÉ SPECIAL EFFECTS!
Not the most informative video of all time, but I did get a chance to try out my new special effects. They're pretty cool, huh? Now I can join the rest of the YouTube community and make videos that people think are cool! Maybe.
Pete out.
Wednesday 1 August 2012
LOGO Saga Behind the Scenes!
So you know all that fun I had while filming this thing? Yeah, now there's a video showing you all how much fun I had while filming this thing. This thing being the LOGO Saga. You should watch it. Like, all of it. And then watch the second part. And then the behind the scenes. Hopefully you followed that.
Pete out.
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