Wednesday 24 October 2012
P PLAYS SLENDER
So, ToTheRC has stolen some footage of P playing Slender. It looks like our handsome hero can't even do a shit now without Blasky getting all up in his wine coolers about it.
Who knows what will happen in the near future?
Pete out.
Tuesday 23 October 2012
MEET THE OTHER HEROES
So this (last) week, some other super hero stuff happened.
Full and detailed account of Oxjam to come soon.
Pete out.
Thursday 18 October 2012
MEET THE HEROES
Yeah... I need to get better at posting my videos. I also need to get better at posting in general. It took me two weeks to write my account of Nickleback. But hey, I'm a busy man.
Anyway, this video is hopefully going to lead into a new line of shorts that I'll be doing. Remember the LOGO Saga? I'm going to try and tie them together. It's going to be cool.
Pete out.
Nickelback
So last Tuesday I went to go and see Nickelback. I would've blogged about it earlier, but hey, I'm a busy guy. As such, this post might not be very long either. Anyway, let's get on with it.
To start off with, I wasn't too keen on the idea that a band who isn't as good as Reel Big Fish would cost more than their gig, and twice more to be precise, but I was pressured into it. Like, actually pressured into it. I didn't have a choice. Not even a little bit. I was like, "Forty quid? Aaahhhh... I don't know..." and then somehow by the end of the conversation I had said yes. I do not remember saying yes, but apparently a positive notion was expressed, and therefore I had to cough over the required £40. What a fucking rip off for music. I'm glad I didn't pay any money for any of their albums.
As ever, the journey over was eventful. Josh's shitey one hundred year old sat-nav did little in the way of directing us to the ... NIA I think it's called, but either way the TomTom didn't know where on Earth that was, so we drove to Birmingham and used our instincts. That, and we followed the signs. But, it was fun, and that's the point of all of our road journeys.
Anyway, on to the actual gig. We arrived as Daughtery were playing. Joe and I figured that daughtery was like adultery but the other way round and centralised around one particular gender. I'll leave you to figure out which gender it is. OI! No peeking. Just work it out. It's not even that hard. Haven't got it yet? Females, you tit-box of epic proportions.
If you had the answer before I said it, then I do apologise and you can have a gold star. Just email me your address and I'll send one on a crow. People still use messenger crows, right?
Anyway, back to the actual gig. While we were milling around, Bekah decided to pull a funny face. A funnier face, in fact, than Josh's:
Don't think that's happened in a long while. Maybe Josh has lost his touch. At least Joe's smiling.
Anyway, if anything was going to make the gig worth going to, it was this:
MUSIC AND VIDEO! ALL IN ONE COMBINATION! It's like they had me in mind when they decided how to make the gig inventive. I know big gigs are probably like this all the time, but hey, I've never wanted to pay £40 for music before, so this was pretty big for me. I guess it makes sense, though, if they didn't do something like this then I'd have been really disappointed. Believe it or not, but I don't care much about seeing bands live unless they're not popular enough to be in a big, crowded venue like the NIA. Small bands are just fucking awesome. Anyway, Nickelback actually out-did themselves.
If any of you are nice enough, though, I've found what I want for my birthday:
It's super cool, right? A standing piano, but with cogs and shit on it!
Anyway, it definitely was worth the money in the end, and the fact that they managed to impress me made it all the more worth-while going.
Pete out.
To start off with, I wasn't too keen on the idea that a band who isn't as good as Reel Big Fish would cost more than their gig, and twice more to be precise, but I was pressured into it. Like, actually pressured into it. I didn't have a choice. Not even a little bit. I was like, "Forty quid? Aaahhhh... I don't know..." and then somehow by the end of the conversation I had said yes. I do not remember saying yes, but apparently a positive notion was expressed, and therefore I had to cough over the required £40. What a fucking rip off for music. I'm glad I didn't pay any money for any of their albums.
As ever, the journey over was eventful. Josh's shitey one hundred year old sat-nav did little in the way of directing us to the ... NIA I think it's called, but either way the TomTom didn't know where on Earth that was, so we drove to Birmingham and used our instincts. That, and we followed the signs. But, it was fun, and that's the point of all of our road journeys.
Anyway, on to the actual gig. We arrived as Daughtery were playing. Joe and I figured that daughtery was like adultery but the other way round and centralised around one particular gender. I'll leave you to figure out which gender it is. OI! No peeking. Just work it out. It's not even that hard. Haven't got it yet? Females, you tit-box of epic proportions.
If you had the answer before I said it, then I do apologise and you can have a gold star. Just email me your address and I'll send one on a crow. People still use messenger crows, right?
Anyway, back to the actual gig. While we were milling around, Bekah decided to pull a funny face. A funnier face, in fact, than Josh's:
Don't think that's happened in a long while. Maybe Josh has lost his touch. At least Joe's smiling.
Anyway, if anything was going to make the gig worth going to, it was this:
MUSIC AND VIDEO! ALL IN ONE COMBINATION! It's like they had me in mind when they decided how to make the gig inventive. I know big gigs are probably like this all the time, but hey, I've never wanted to pay £40 for music before, so this was pretty big for me. I guess it makes sense, though, if they didn't do something like this then I'd have been really disappointed. Believe it or not, but I don't care much about seeing bands live unless they're not popular enough to be in a big, crowded venue like the NIA. Small bands are just fucking awesome. Anyway, Nickelback actually out-did themselves.
If any of you are nice enough, though, I've found what I want for my birthday:
It's super cool, right? A standing piano, but with cogs and shit on it!
Anyway, it definitely was worth the money in the end, and the fact that they managed to impress me made it all the more worth-while going.
Pete out.
Wednesday 10 October 2012
Granite Moths - Entry #58
This week, P and Jim venture to the abandoned strip club/car park, but not is all as it should be... Watch the continuing adventure unfold.
Pete out.
BURN THE ROPE
This week I play a fun game all about beating the boss at the end of the level.
There's also a small Easter Egg in there if you want to peruse.
Pete out.
Wednesday 3 October 2012
New Semester!
Wooooow. So a new semester has just started, and you know what that means? It means that, once again, I'm really fucking busy. Let me briefly talk about last week.
So last week was freshers' week, which is a week in which the freshers get free stuff and drink a lot of alcohol and get the fabled "freshers flu" just in time for the start of lectures. It's pretty fun. So on Monday morning we got up at stupid o'clock and got onto campus at 9 o'stupid to film stuff. I can't really remember what even happened. I know we got lots and lots of footage and lots and lots of chinese food. Seriously, all we had to do was walk up to the booth and flash their number at them, and they gave us noodles or egg fried rice or something. It was super cool.
The second day was fun. Demon Media set up their own stall and we were standing around all day talking to people. The Wednesday was pretty much the same as well, but I had fewer people to work with, and for a few hours I was entirely alone. Over the two days we got 300 to sign up to Demon Media, and I must have talked to at least 200 of them. At the start of the two days I had barely any clue what to say to people, but by the end I had developed a routine that included the fact that we have £4000,000 worth of equipment, and that I don't know anything about the paper, and that it's really fun. I also said other things, but you know.
The Thursday was probably the most fun day of all. This was bodge day, when we got all of the Media Prod students to film random stuff and record random stuff. My first group were great. They had to make a wildlife documentary in the style of Blue's Clues with the quote, "look in the sky, a flying pig!" and they did an absolutely cracking job of it. My second group were shit, but my first group were really fucking cool.
Anyway, so that was freshers' week, which was amazing.
So now it's time to crack on and do new stuff. This term looks to be pretty fun. I've got to make some stuff in After Effects, do some TV stuff... you know, media shit. It looks like the projects will be better than last year anyway.
So yeah, I'll talk about other stuff soon.
Pete out.
So last week was freshers' week, which is a week in which the freshers get free stuff and drink a lot of alcohol and get the fabled "freshers flu" just in time for the start of lectures. It's pretty fun. So on Monday morning we got up at stupid o'clock and got onto campus at 9 o'stupid to film stuff. I can't really remember what even happened. I know we got lots and lots of footage and lots and lots of chinese food. Seriously, all we had to do was walk up to the booth and flash their number at them, and they gave us noodles or egg fried rice or something. It was super cool.
The second day was fun. Demon Media set up their own stall and we were standing around all day talking to people. The Wednesday was pretty much the same as well, but I had fewer people to work with, and for a few hours I was entirely alone. Over the two days we got 300 to sign up to Demon Media, and I must have talked to at least 200 of them. At the start of the two days I had barely any clue what to say to people, but by the end I had developed a routine that included the fact that we have £4000,000 worth of equipment, and that I don't know anything about the paper, and that it's really fun. I also said other things, but you know.
The Thursday was probably the most fun day of all. This was bodge day, when we got all of the Media Prod students to film random stuff and record random stuff. My first group were great. They had to make a wildlife documentary in the style of Blue's Clues with the quote, "look in the sky, a flying pig!" and they did an absolutely cracking job of it. My second group were shit, but my first group were really fucking cool.
Anyway, so that was freshers' week, which was amazing.
So now it's time to crack on and do new stuff. This term looks to be pretty fun. I've got to make some stuff in After Effects, do some TV stuff... you know, media shit. It looks like the projects will be better than last year anyway.
So yeah, I'll talk about other stuff soon.
Pete out.
ToTheRC - Session
This week, ToTheRC reveals some strange feelings and stalks Carly Rae Jepson.
Pete out.
Sunday 23 September 2012
Granite Moths - Entry #57
This entry sees the last of Jim's "scenes from the behind". What will happen? Will anyone survive? What does P do in his free time? All will be revealed.
Pete out.
WORKOUT TIPS
So this week I give you the very best workout tips to make sure you can keep track of your fitness.
Awesome postage about last night's events/the summer are coming soon.
Pete out.
Wednesday 19 September 2012
My New House
On Friday (the 14th) I moved into my new house, and it's surprisingly big and spacious for a student house. Well, a student house in Leicester. The weekend in Leicester was great fun. I got to see people again, go on the radio and have a good laugh with the peeps and generally I came to understand what life would be like this year, with my new house and my new role in Demon TV.
The house, however, does have its problems.
I was just settling in, you know, finding the comfortable spots, picking my room, when I realised that a bulb had been broken in the room that I wanted. I found another room, which was practically the same but with the wrong plug layouts (trust me, plug layouts are important in a room) and so I stole the light bulb from there. Now, this being a particularly tall building, I had to stand on the bed to reach the light bulb, and it was an "only just" deal. Either way, taking the bulb out wasn't all that difficult. However, when I went back downstairs to put it in the empty bulb socket... if that's what it's called... and well, things got aggravating.
MOTHER FUCKING LIGHT BULB!
I was perched on the edge of my bed trying to get the damn lightbulb into the socket, but it just would not go in! I'm sure at least eight of you made a "that's what she said" joke. And now the rest of you have. Good, I'm glad we got that out of the way. Okay, she'd never say that. That one didn't even make sense. MOVE ON!
Okay, balance... balance... tease it in... TEASE IT! Why do light bulb shades have to get in the way so much? It's making this at least three times harder. POOF. Aha! By bending the shade outwards you can take it off its frame! How clever. Aw... but now there's really thick dust everywhere. God damn it. This better make it easier to... tease it... GOD DAMN IT.
I lost my balance all too often trying to do this. I almost decided that it wasn't worth living in this room with the correct plug socket placement, but I powered through, determined to get this damn light bulb in the damn bulb socket. I tried to find steadier alternatives, like my wheelie chair, which of course was a stupid idea because desk chairs aren't stable at all. I then moved the desk and put it next to my bed, stood on top and finally put the damn light bulb in the damn bulb socket.
FINALLY. Now I just have to put the shade back on. Okay, fold it forwards, the opposite of what you accidentally did before. It's easy. It's supposed to be easy. Why would be harder this way? That's just stupid. I SAID THAT'S JUST STUPID. THAT'S YOUR CUE TO WORK. THANK YOU. Ah... job done... Aside from all the dust that's now all over my room. Sigh. To the hooving machine!
Well after that was done, I made my bed, which was easy and then sat down to watch some Avatar, finish filming Entry #56 of Granite Moths and then render the bastard, ready to upload. I'm also reading Halo Glasslands at the moment, and if you're anticipating the release of Halo 4, I definitely recommend giving it a go since it'll explain some of the things that were unexplained prior to seeing the footage. Questions such as why the Elites would try to kill you despite the alliance that was formed during Halo 3. And I'll leave it at that to avoid spoilers. It's really interesting, and at least a million times better than the piss-poor effort Eric Nylund made of authoring his books. The stories were fine, but the writing style was so bad that I just had to read the summaries of his books on the Halo wiki. Also, if you did read Eric Nylund's books, Glasslands also picks up where Ghosts of Onyx left off. Eric Nylund was originally supposed to write this new trilogy of books, but Karen Traviss expressed interest and 343 picked the better option. Anyway, this has nothing to do with my moving in.
The light in the kitchen is one of those fluorescent strips that takes forever to turn on, and so soon I gave up using it and decided to navigate using the light of the lounge and the pantry. This turned out to be a bad idea.
Eugh, a patch of this rug is damp. But I didn't spill anything... what is that? It feels a bit like slime... Maybe someone spilled some Fairy liquid or something. I'd better turn on the light and check it out. Click.... ... ... Come on... and light! Okay, let's see what this- ah a slug! How the fuck did that get in here? Probably lived under the sink for a while. Alright, well, you're not staying in here. Out the door you go. And... fling! Man, looks like that guy didn't train to be a pilot.
I thought the slug problem had been dealt with, but when I returned later that evening to get a drink, apparently I was proven wrong.
Man, I love that Jon refrigerates filtered water. It just makes juice taste a little bit nicer. And it's cold, which is a squelch. Squelch? OH MOTHER FUCKING SLUGS! That's it, I'm leaving! You can stew there. I hope you like the taste of sole, dick hole. You can sit there and die. Normally I don't let creatures suffer, but you have entered my domain, and therefore new rules apply. Dickhead.
When I returned the next morning, all slug activity seemed to have vanished, but even so my footing was careful. That said, when I looked later on with James, the slugs had apparently multiplied and grown. I think I may have started a war with the slugs by injuring one of their princes or something. I don't fucking know. Either way we're eradicating them one way or another. It's not racist, trust. Slugs live in damp burrows and stuff. I think. Either way, they don't live in people house. People live in people houses. You know what you can legally do in America if someone unlawfully intrudes on your property? Shoot them in the face. Same rules apply to slugs. And I've got a pellet or two for them. Hahaha, pellet. See that's funny, because you kill slugs with slug pellets, but shotguns use pellets as well. Whoa, hahah. Fricking comedy genius right here.
Uh, yeah, anyway. This weekend has been well fun, but now the countdown to the end of the summer has begun with my final week in Kettering. Dun dun dunnn....
Pete out.
The house, however, does have its problems.
I was just settling in, you know, finding the comfortable spots, picking my room, when I realised that a bulb had been broken in the room that I wanted. I found another room, which was practically the same but with the wrong plug layouts (trust me, plug layouts are important in a room) and so I stole the light bulb from there. Now, this being a particularly tall building, I had to stand on the bed to reach the light bulb, and it was an "only just" deal. Either way, taking the bulb out wasn't all that difficult. However, when I went back downstairs to put it in the empty bulb socket... if that's what it's called... and well, things got aggravating.
MOTHER FUCKING LIGHT BULB!
I was perched on the edge of my bed trying to get the damn lightbulb into the socket, but it just would not go in! I'm sure at least eight of you made a "that's what she said" joke. And now the rest of you have. Good, I'm glad we got that out of the way. Okay, she'd never say that. That one didn't even make sense. MOVE ON!
Okay, balance... balance... tease it in... TEASE IT! Why do light bulb shades have to get in the way so much? It's making this at least three times harder. POOF. Aha! By bending the shade outwards you can take it off its frame! How clever. Aw... but now there's really thick dust everywhere. God damn it. This better make it easier to... tease it... GOD DAMN IT.
I lost my balance all too often trying to do this. I almost decided that it wasn't worth living in this room with the correct plug socket placement, but I powered through, determined to get this damn light bulb in the damn bulb socket. I tried to find steadier alternatives, like my wheelie chair, which of course was a stupid idea because desk chairs aren't stable at all. I then moved the desk and put it next to my bed, stood on top and finally put the damn light bulb in the damn bulb socket.
FINALLY. Now I just have to put the shade back on. Okay, fold it forwards, the opposite of what you accidentally did before. It's easy. It's supposed to be easy. Why would be harder this way? That's just stupid. I SAID THAT'S JUST STUPID. THAT'S YOUR CUE TO WORK. THANK YOU. Ah... job done... Aside from all the dust that's now all over my room. Sigh. To the hooving machine!
Well after that was done, I made my bed, which was easy and then sat down to watch some Avatar, finish filming Entry #56 of Granite Moths and then render the bastard, ready to upload. I'm also reading Halo Glasslands at the moment, and if you're anticipating the release of Halo 4, I definitely recommend giving it a go since it'll explain some of the things that were unexplained prior to seeing the footage. Questions such as why the Elites would try to kill you despite the alliance that was formed during Halo 3. And I'll leave it at that to avoid spoilers. It's really interesting, and at least a million times better than the piss-poor effort Eric Nylund made of authoring his books. The stories were fine, but the writing style was so bad that I just had to read the summaries of his books on the Halo wiki. Also, if you did read Eric Nylund's books, Glasslands also picks up where Ghosts of Onyx left off. Eric Nylund was originally supposed to write this new trilogy of books, but Karen Traviss expressed interest and 343 picked the better option. Anyway, this has nothing to do with my moving in.
The light in the kitchen is one of those fluorescent strips that takes forever to turn on, and so soon I gave up using it and decided to navigate using the light of the lounge and the pantry. This turned out to be a bad idea.
Eugh, a patch of this rug is damp. But I didn't spill anything... what is that? It feels a bit like slime... Maybe someone spilled some Fairy liquid or something. I'd better turn on the light and check it out. Click.... ... ... Come on... and light! Okay, let's see what this- ah a slug! How the fuck did that get in here? Probably lived under the sink for a while. Alright, well, you're not staying in here. Out the door you go. And... fling! Man, looks like that guy didn't train to be a pilot.
I thought the slug problem had been dealt with, but when I returned later that evening to get a drink, apparently I was proven wrong.
Man, I love that Jon refrigerates filtered water. It just makes juice taste a little bit nicer. And it's cold, which is a squelch. Squelch? OH MOTHER FUCKING SLUGS! That's it, I'm leaving! You can stew there. I hope you like the taste of sole, dick hole. You can sit there and die. Normally I don't let creatures suffer, but you have entered my domain, and therefore new rules apply. Dickhead.
When I returned the next morning, all slug activity seemed to have vanished, but even so my footing was careful. That said, when I looked later on with James, the slugs had apparently multiplied and grown. I think I may have started a war with the slugs by injuring one of their princes or something. I don't fucking know. Either way we're eradicating them one way or another. It's not racist, trust. Slugs live in damp burrows and stuff. I think. Either way, they don't live in people house. People live in people houses. You know what you can legally do in America if someone unlawfully intrudes on your property? Shoot them in the face. Same rules apply to slugs. And I've got a pellet or two for them. Hahaha, pellet. See that's funny, because you kill slugs with slug pellets, but shotguns use pellets as well. Whoa, hahah. Fricking comedy genius right here.
Uh, yeah, anyway. This weekend has been well fun, but now the countdown to the end of the summer has begun with my final week in Kettering. Dun dun dunnn....
Pete out.
Monday 17 September 2012
Granite Moths - Entry #56
So things are getting more interesting in the world of Granite Moths. The plot is getting thicker, P's lie is getting thinner, and the DVD Rewinder is on the fritz. It's all pretty cool.
Pete out.
Saturday 15 September 2012
Pete Plays Games
Yeah, so I play a couple of games for this week's video.
What's interesting about one of the games I played, Facade, is that it is a really unique AI-based game. It's based around the idea that a couple are having an argument at the time that they invite you over for a few drinks. You can either sit there and listen to them for a while, or you can engage in the discussion yourself. The AI characters then take on board what you say and form appropriate responses. It's really, very clever. And the best part? It's free! Now I know things like this already exist in the form of search engines and Siri, but they're all keyword stuff. Okay, it's obvious that this is keyword stuff as well, but then it selects the most appropriate thing to say from its extensive list of conversational items. Sometimes it can get a little jarred, but on the most part it's very fluid and you really feel part of the moment. Until the guy kicks you out for repeatedly asking his wife to suck your balls, or have a threesome, or say that her tits look great. It's all part of the fun. One day, I may even try to do an entire run-through and see if there's an ending. Ooohhh....
Other than that, Happy Wheels is fucking hilarious.
Pete out.
Wednesday 12 September 2012
Granite Moths - Entry #55
This week, Jim's scenes from the behind show an interesting new insight into the filming of Granite Moths, and also how Extra 2 hardly ever seems to talk while he is outside.
Hmm. How very interesting.
Pete out.
Thursday 6 September 2012
A Bee and a Rhino
If you are an avid reader of this blog, then you may recognise the story that I told in today's video. It was from ages ago, so I won't bother linking it. Besides, the story is right above you in video form. That's all you need, right? Good.
Anyway, September's shaping up to be a pretty good month. I'll be moving into my new house soon and then going back to uni. Fun stuff.
Pete out.
Monday 3 September 2012
THIS IS NOT A VIDEO
Damn straight. You might not care, but I care very much that most of my posts these days seem to be just video shares. Now, to get things straight, I am very busy with all my video work. I work on Granite Moths like, every day. If I'm not filming it then I'm definitely editing it. And if I'm not editing it nor filming it, then I'm definitely scripting it. And if I'm not doing anything to do with Granite Moths, then I'm filming for my channel, or planning for future videos.
Yeah, videos take up a lot of my time. But I don't mind, because videos are fucking awesome. Today, YouTube is the second-most popular search engine next to Google, and there is a very good reason for that. More and more each day, people are giving up on the written word and converting solely to video. They don't really even want to listen to the radio. Hell, even music is listened to in playlists on YouTube. Yeah, music videos have become the preferred way to listen to music. Quite frankly I find that bullshit, because while music videos can be cool, they're not really for watching unless done well. And let's face it, for a music video to be worth watching it has to be pretty spectacular.
Well, for me anyway.
I'm not innocent of this trend, though. Every morning I wake up and eat breakfast while watching whatever TV programme I am currently occupied by. At the moment it's Supernatural, which is awesome. Every week I watch the new episode of Futurama or whatever else is coming out and maybe I'll watch one or two movies a week as well. I also watch over two hours of YouTube videos in a week. For god's sake, Toby Turner literally makes a five minute video every single day, and Rooster Teeth make at least two hours of content to watch every week. And I really don't mind. Because they're fucking awesome. Hell, I wouldn't bother making videos if these guys hadn't inspired me to. So there, videos are fucking cool.
However, the written word should not be forgotten about. If I have an hour or so spare, then I'll pick up whatever book I have on the go and read a chapter of it. Occasionally this gets me in the mood to write something. I'm trying to script a Minecraft series with every episode following the steps of Vlad Propp's narrative theory, and that's hard. I've never had such a mental block before. So that won't be done for ages yet. I hope that soon I get in the mood and just get the flipping scripts done.
But yeah, a long time ago I said I'd make comics. Yeah, I'm giving up on that purely because I can't think of stories that I could draw. I'm just going to incorporate Cliché Life Man into my live action videos because I can. I may eventually start making new Halo comics, because they were pretty awesome, but again I need stuff to go on and I can't be bothered thinking up ideas. I've already got enough idea making going on.
So yeah, that's what's happening, video-wise. Blog-wise I'm going to writing a... an erotic fanfiction of a popular story on request of Rhys Davies, and I'm going to try and start doing the update posts again. You know, get back into the habit of actually telling you about my life rather than you watching what I do in my fake video life. Guess I'll make a post soon. But to make it clear, the summer is always a bad time to blog, because while I can make lots of videos, there's not really that many unique things that happen that are really worth blogging about. However, I used to blog about my days at school, so you know.
I reckon Inside Voice should deal with some of the update posts though. They can be quite amusing.
Anyway, I'm really quite done.
Pete out.
Yeah, videos take up a lot of my time. But I don't mind, because videos are fucking awesome. Today, YouTube is the second-most popular search engine next to Google, and there is a very good reason for that. More and more each day, people are giving up on the written word and converting solely to video. They don't really even want to listen to the radio. Hell, even music is listened to in playlists on YouTube. Yeah, music videos have become the preferred way to listen to music. Quite frankly I find that bullshit, because while music videos can be cool, they're not really for watching unless done well. And let's face it, for a music video to be worth watching it has to be pretty spectacular.
Well, for me anyway.
I'm not innocent of this trend, though. Every morning I wake up and eat breakfast while watching whatever TV programme I am currently occupied by. At the moment it's Supernatural, which is awesome. Every week I watch the new episode of Futurama or whatever else is coming out and maybe I'll watch one or two movies a week as well. I also watch over two hours of YouTube videos in a week. For god's sake, Toby Turner literally makes a five minute video every single day, and Rooster Teeth make at least two hours of content to watch every week. And I really don't mind. Because they're fucking awesome. Hell, I wouldn't bother making videos if these guys hadn't inspired me to. So there, videos are fucking cool.
However, the written word should not be forgotten about. If I have an hour or so spare, then I'll pick up whatever book I have on the go and read a chapter of it. Occasionally this gets me in the mood to write something. I'm trying to script a Minecraft series with every episode following the steps of Vlad Propp's narrative theory, and that's hard. I've never had such a mental block before. So that won't be done for ages yet. I hope that soon I get in the mood and just get the flipping scripts done.
But yeah, a long time ago I said I'd make comics. Yeah, I'm giving up on that purely because I can't think of stories that I could draw. I'm just going to incorporate Cliché Life Man into my live action videos because I can. I may eventually start making new Halo comics, because they were pretty awesome, but again I need stuff to go on and I can't be bothered thinking up ideas. I've already got enough idea making going on.
So yeah, that's what's happening, video-wise. Blog-wise I'm going to writing a... an erotic fanfiction of a popular story on request of Rhys Davies, and I'm going to try and start doing the update posts again. You know, get back into the habit of actually telling you about my life rather than you watching what I do in my fake video life. Guess I'll make a post soon. But to make it clear, the summer is always a bad time to blog, because while I can make lots of videos, there's not really that many unique things that happen that are really worth blogging about. However, I used to blog about my days at school, so you know.
I reckon Inside Voice should deal with some of the update posts though. They can be quite amusing.
Anyway, I'm really quite done.
Pete out.
ToTheRC - Decay
This week, ToTheRC responds with an interesting message about stalker insurance. I bet half of you wouldn't mind that, eh? Covered for all injuries you may sustain by trying to breach my defences.
Pete out.
007 PARODY
Woooow! Look at this. This is awesome. This is one of the best things I've filmed in quite a while. It was such good fun to make as well. The fact that I got to play with actual airsoft guns for the final firefight was just super cool. Not only did I get new toys, but I got to mess with loads of new editing techniques as well, such as wall and couch hits, and even making Joe's head explode at the end there. How cool was that? Very, that's how.
Either way, this month I promise I'll start to actually write actual posts. Last month I had one post which wasn't a video share and comment, so this month will be better, trust.
Pete out.
Monday 27 August 2012
Granite Moths - Entry #54
Yeah... I'm not doing too well at the whole non-video post thing right now. I'm sorry. I'm just neck-deep in video work and playing games. What's missing is the whole "my day" post things. Maybe I'll start doing those again.
Anyway, this week's Granite Moths is actually pretty funny, so you should definitely check it out. P tries his hand at knitting, Jim finds the DVDs, and then the mystery of whatever happened to Alec and Jim all those years ago starts to unravel itself.
Ooh, the tension is building.
I do wish Marble Hornets would get the fuck off their arses and make some videos already so we don't awkwardly catch up with them.
Pete out.
Thursday 23 August 2012
WATCH GRANITE MOTHS
The title says it all really. But I'll tell you what, I filmed this yesterday because I was go-karting today. And my shit, it was hella fun. Like the most fun in a motorised vehicle you can have. There's literally no consequence for crashing. Maybe whiplash, but I didn't get whiplash so it's cool.
Uh... Yeah.
Pete out.
Tuesday 21 August 2012
Granite Moths Season 3!
Look at that! The new season of Granite Moths has officially begun! P is still trying to unravel the mystery of Slenderman, Alec and the Maskies, and he has managed to find Jim again. But where will this lead?
Granite Moths is fucking fun, and if you haven't watched it yet, I recommend you go back to the beginning of Marble Hornets, watch it, and then go to the beginning of Granite Moths and watch it. It's fucking great, I'm telling you.
Pete out.
Saturday 18 August 2012
HIGH FIVE CHALLENGE
This challenge made me feel like an absolute idiot. Seriously, it was stupid. It meant I had to interact with people whom I'd normally look at in disgust. Chavs. Chavs everywhere. Anyway, I thought this was quite a cool little social experiment. The number of people who looked at me as if I was retarded was astounding, and there were even some chavs who were like, "What the fuck..." and Joe was like, "Give him a high five" and the chav was like, "No!" as if giving a high five was one of the worst affronts to their personal space ever.
Either way, I'm not actually a massive fan of high fives anyway. People use them to congratulate, and I'm just like, "For god's sake" especially, for some reason, with the completely unlikeable nerds who just seem to want to touch me. In fact, I'll let Inside Voice give you an example.
Nerd: "Great video this week, Pete!"
Outside Voice: "Huh, oh yeah, thanks. It was alright I guess."
Inside Voice: "Who the hell do you think you are? What was your name again? Oh yeah, that's right, I don't care because you took a media degree because you couldn't get into whatever science or maths-based degree was your first choice. Stupid moron."
Nerd: "High five!"
Outside Voice: "... yeah..."
Inside Voice: "Oh god. Oh crap. I should have seen this coming. Kill it! Kill it with fire!"
*I place my hand gingerly in the air and the dickhead slaps it with all his might, as feeble as that may be*
Inside Voice: "Ewww, sweat. That's disgusting. Now I'm going to have to get my hand baptised. How do these people get so clammy? Just eww."
Nerd: "Haha, logo!"
Inside Voice: "YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! ONLY I AND MY CLOSEST FRIENDS CAN SAY THAT! IT'S A WITCH! QUICK, TO THE LOGO CAVE! Balalanadadanah."
I guess this is what I get for having fans who don't respect boundaries and happen to be friends with the fans that I actually like. Sigh.
Pete out.
Wednesday 15 August 2012
Cliché Theories: Poseidon
This is, fortunately or unfortunately, another nonsense theory. I don't come up with a lot of serious theories, but my nonsense theories are too good to be ignored.
As you may or may not know, I don't particularly like swimming or being in water, especially the ocean. This is because of reasons that I can't be bothered, and are too personal to place on the internet. Anyway, it is also a known fact that humans aren't built for swimming. Sure, they can do it, but it takes a shit load of effort and we certainly can't breathe underwater. In fact, we're so shit at swimming that we've had to build apparatus to help us do this tedious activity.
But why on Earth do we yearn so much to dunk our quite frankly terribly evolved bodies into the ocean? Why would we want to be in the sea so badly?
By the way, if you're still thinking that this is serious, you might want to turn away. It's about to get downright silly.
Humans were once amphibious creatures.
See?
Thousands and millions of years ago, before we'd evolved to throw sticks at mammoths, we lived in the oceans. We had gills and webbed extremities. We were happy and content. Feasting on the fish of the world. And of course, because the human race is quite slender, and because of our many appendages that were adapted for swimming, we were bloody quick while zipping around the seabed, avoiding predators. It is also, of course, within our nature to build weapons to compensate for our lack of physical strength, so we had the shark hunting thing down. Well, I suppose it would have been aquatic dinosaur hunting back then, but you get the idea.
In fact, there was quite the unbalance in the oceans. So much so that the Water God, Poseidon, got really pissed off at us and told us to get the fuck out of the oceans. Naturally we had a bit of an argument with Poseidon, and this ended up being the Great Oceanic Wars which eventually ended in the extinction of the aquatic dinosaurs. What, you really thought that an ash cloud and a bit of a chill was going to wipe out all of the water species as well? Hah, you moron.
I would like to take this moment to remind you that anything and everything I have said up to this point, and further on, within this blog post, is all complete bullshit. Apart from the bit at the start stating that the following is bullshit. And this bit as well. But everything after this bit is bullshit again.
So yeah, while we did manage to wipe out the greatest hunters that have ever lived in the Biggest War Ever (the colloquial title of the Great Oceanic Wars), Poseidon was clearly not a god to be trifled with, and he managed to kick out each and every single one of the human race.
Things were looking bad. We had to evolve quickly to survive. Humans had left the oceans before, and so they could breathe, but did eventually have to go back into the oceans to survive. Luckily, many children were born without gills for some unexplained reason. Call it adapting to survive or some shit like that. Also, quite luckily, these children were born near the current evolution of primates, and so when the aquatic humans did eventually die, the children were left in safe hands. You know, the ones who weren't eaten.
So the children grew up with the primates and eventually evolved to no longer have webbed hands and feet and started walking properly and adapted their technique of making weapons and tools to survive in the big bad world of land. Societies formed once more, and we forgot about the oceans for thousands of years.
Until some plonker decided to explore other continents. I mean, he couldn't wait for the invention of planes, could he? No. Why would it even be a he? Because in those times women were subjugated and treated as baby factories. Fit to purpose and all that *cough cough* Whoa, who said that? Sexist bigot. God, some people, eh?
I'm getting off-topic. Some absolute dickweed decided to visit other continents, and so he precariously stepped into the sea, and instantly realised that there was no way to propel himself. In fact, he could barely keep himself afloat. He felt uneasy, but he was spurred on by his want to explore the world. He saw a piece of bark floating not so far away and he came up with an idea. He grabbed onto the piece of bark and kicked himself from the land and willed himself to carry on to places unknown.
He drowned.
The bark wasn't buoyant enough. After-all, it was just a bit of bark.
But the other humans were inspired. They cut down trees and created rafts. However, they were not very stable and they noticed that when it rocked the raft would simply tip and the occupying human would drown. They then compensated for this, and now the rafts were bowl-shaped and were much more capable of staying afloat and battling the waves. But they would get nowhere quickly, and one clever clogs added a bow so that it would cut through the waves. They decided that the name "raft" would not do for this invention, and chose to call it a "boat" for some reason.
Or, you know, whatever "boat" is in cave-speak.
With these newfangled "boats" they then thought to create paddles so they could propel themselves through the water. Soon these boats got bigger, and larger so that they could carry extra food. These boats soon became to tiring to paddle, so the humans decided to add large sheets of cloth to the boats to harness the power of the wind. They called the sheets "sails" and this new, awesome invention a "ship". Soon, they reached other continents and spread around the world, forging the way for the magnificent planet that we are today.
The human race was, once again, water-borne.
This pissed off Poseidon a bit, because the humans started fishing again, but he couldn't actually do anything about it since they weren't technically in the water. He then enlisted the help of the God of Thunder, Thor to invent storms to try and kill the humans while they were at sea.
Everything's starting to make sense now, right? The largest ship ever made, Titanic (at the time, that's not really true anymore) sank on its maiden voyage. Why? Because Poseidon was pissed off that humans had created an even larger vessel.
And yes, I am completely aware that I just mixed Greek and Norse mythology. So what? This entire post is insane anyway. Get the fuck over it.
Anyway, that pretty much explains why things are as they are today. But of course, at some point, some titbox decided that it would a good idea to find out what was underneath the water's surface. Did he learn nothing from his ancestry? Either way, that paved way for the invention of flippers and oxygen tanks and goggles and breathers and shit.
So there you go, the human race is not built to swim or be in water. And that is exactly why I will not go in the ocean unaided. Poseidon wants to kill us. Well I for one won't let him. You happy now? I've explained it.
Right, that's that.
Pete out.
As you may or may not know, I don't particularly like swimming or being in water, especially the ocean. This is because of reasons that I can't be bothered, and are too personal to place on the internet. Anyway, it is also a known fact that humans aren't built for swimming. Sure, they can do it, but it takes a shit load of effort and we certainly can't breathe underwater. In fact, we're so shit at swimming that we've had to build apparatus to help us do this tedious activity.
But why on Earth do we yearn so much to dunk our quite frankly terribly evolved bodies into the ocean? Why would we want to be in the sea so badly?
By the way, if you're still thinking that this is serious, you might want to turn away. It's about to get downright silly.
Humans were once amphibious creatures.
See?
Thousands and millions of years ago, before we'd evolved to throw sticks at mammoths, we lived in the oceans. We had gills and webbed extremities. We were happy and content. Feasting on the fish of the world. And of course, because the human race is quite slender, and because of our many appendages that were adapted for swimming, we were bloody quick while zipping around the seabed, avoiding predators. It is also, of course, within our nature to build weapons to compensate for our lack of physical strength, so we had the shark hunting thing down. Well, I suppose it would have been aquatic dinosaur hunting back then, but you get the idea.
In fact, there was quite the unbalance in the oceans. So much so that the Water God, Poseidon, got really pissed off at us and told us to get the fuck out of the oceans. Naturally we had a bit of an argument with Poseidon, and this ended up being the Great Oceanic Wars which eventually ended in the extinction of the aquatic dinosaurs. What, you really thought that an ash cloud and a bit of a chill was going to wipe out all of the water species as well? Hah, you moron.
I would like to take this moment to remind you that anything and everything I have said up to this point, and further on, within this blog post, is all complete bullshit. Apart from the bit at the start stating that the following is bullshit. And this bit as well. But everything after this bit is bullshit again.
So yeah, while we did manage to wipe out the greatest hunters that have ever lived in the Biggest War Ever (the colloquial title of the Great Oceanic Wars), Poseidon was clearly not a god to be trifled with, and he managed to kick out each and every single one of the human race.
Things were looking bad. We had to evolve quickly to survive. Humans had left the oceans before, and so they could breathe, but did eventually have to go back into the oceans to survive. Luckily, many children were born without gills for some unexplained reason. Call it adapting to survive or some shit like that. Also, quite luckily, these children were born near the current evolution of primates, and so when the aquatic humans did eventually die, the children were left in safe hands. You know, the ones who weren't eaten.
So the children grew up with the primates and eventually evolved to no longer have webbed hands and feet and started walking properly and adapted their technique of making weapons and tools to survive in the big bad world of land. Societies formed once more, and we forgot about the oceans for thousands of years.
Until some plonker decided to explore other continents. I mean, he couldn't wait for the invention of planes, could he? No. Why would it even be a he? Because in those times women were subjugated and treated as baby factories. Fit to purpose and all that *cough cough* Whoa, who said that? Sexist bigot. God, some people, eh?
I'm getting off-topic. Some absolute dickweed decided to visit other continents, and so he precariously stepped into the sea, and instantly realised that there was no way to propel himself. In fact, he could barely keep himself afloat. He felt uneasy, but he was spurred on by his want to explore the world. He saw a piece of bark floating not so far away and he came up with an idea. He grabbed onto the piece of bark and kicked himself from the land and willed himself to carry on to places unknown.
He drowned.
The bark wasn't buoyant enough. After-all, it was just a bit of bark.
But the other humans were inspired. They cut down trees and created rafts. However, they were not very stable and they noticed that when it rocked the raft would simply tip and the occupying human would drown. They then compensated for this, and now the rafts were bowl-shaped and were much more capable of staying afloat and battling the waves. But they would get nowhere quickly, and one clever clogs added a bow so that it would cut through the waves. They decided that the name "raft" would not do for this invention, and chose to call it a "boat" for some reason.
Or, you know, whatever "boat" is in cave-speak.
With these newfangled "boats" they then thought to create paddles so they could propel themselves through the water. Soon these boats got bigger, and larger so that they could carry extra food. These boats soon became to tiring to paddle, so the humans decided to add large sheets of cloth to the boats to harness the power of the wind. They called the sheets "sails" and this new, awesome invention a "ship". Soon, they reached other continents and spread around the world, forging the way for the magnificent planet that we are today.
The human race was, once again, water-borne.
This pissed off Poseidon a bit, because the humans started fishing again, but he couldn't actually do anything about it since they weren't technically in the water. He then enlisted the help of the God of Thunder, Thor to invent storms to try and kill the humans while they were at sea.
Everything's starting to make sense now, right? The largest ship ever made, Titanic (at the time, that's not really true anymore) sank on its maiden voyage. Why? Because Poseidon was pissed off that humans had created an even larger vessel.
And yes, I am completely aware that I just mixed Greek and Norse mythology. So what? This entire post is insane anyway. Get the fuck over it.
Anyway, that pretty much explains why things are as they are today. But of course, at some point, some titbox decided that it would a good idea to find out what was underneath the water's surface. Did he learn nothing from his ancestry? Either way, that paved way for the invention of flippers and oxygen tanks and goggles and breathers and shit.
So there you go, the human race is not built to swim or be in water. And that is exactly why I will not go in the ocean unaided. Poseidon wants to kill us. Well I for one won't let him. You happy now? I've explained it.
Right, that's that.
Pete out.
Friday 10 August 2012
SEX AND PARKOUR
So this week I decided to let random people decide what my topic should be, and as fun as that was... I probably shouldn't have done. Watch me talk about sex and do some Parkour.
Did you know that Parkour is the French martial art of running away? Yeah, interesting isn't it?
Very interesting.
Oh well, I suppose it keeps them from striking in the streets all day.
Pete out.
THE OLYMPIZZLES
So with the Olympics in full swing in London, Pizzle decided to get together a rag-tag group of gangsters for the first ever Gangster Olympics! Now, with the limited number of actual gangsters in the UK, and with most of them being either A: Too bored or B: Too lazy to show up, this was pretty much a battle fought between three competitors.
But who will win? Will our brave hero survive?
Huh, I just described Pizzle as a brave hero. He is neither brave, nor has he ever saved anybody, so that comment has actually been rendered moot.
Either way, it's a good video and you should watch it for its entertainment value.
Pete out.
Thursday 2 August 2012
CLICHÉ SPECIAL EFFECTS!
Not the most informative video of all time, but I did get a chance to try out my new special effects. They're pretty cool, huh? Now I can join the rest of the YouTube community and make videos that people think are cool! Maybe.
Pete out.
Wednesday 1 August 2012
LOGO Saga Behind the Scenes!
So you know all that fun I had while filming this thing? Yeah, now there's a video showing you all how much fun I had while filming this thing. This thing being the LOGO Saga. You should watch it. Like, all of it. And then watch the second part. And then the behind the scenes. Hopefully you followed that.
Pete out.
Monday 30 July 2012
Cliché Theories: Gods and Science
Many of you may be aware of the concept of God, a deity, someone who resides in the heavens and controls everything and makes the things that happen actually happen. Some of you may well believe the stories of this omnipotent being to be true, and others of you may not.
I, on the other hand, have no strong feelings one way or the other. That's right, I'm an agnostic. To get the plate set and everything understood, I'll tell you now that I completely agree with science in every single notion. Don't get me wrong though, atheists are stupid. I can tell you that I have honestly researched most (it's probably impossible to research all of them, since some of them are dead or so new that it hasn't yet come to my attention, or indeed there's a religion followed by a tribe somewhere in the Amazon blah blah) religions, and of course science as well, because I wanted to get everything straight in my head. I wanted to know what everyone believed so that I could deduce what the best possible answer to life is. Unsurprisingly, most of the religions that fight against each other are exactly the same.
Oh, you know what just occurred to me. Loads of atheists will claim that most wars are fought on the basis of religious disagreement and not science. Yeah, well, let me tell you this. World War I was fought for like a billion different reasons, and one being that Kaiser Willhelm wanted a navy to rival Britain's. Okay, that's not religion, but it's not really science either. However, was the Cold War anything to do with religion at all? Or was it indeed about being more scientifically advanced than the enemy? If that turned into a war, then the world would have been destroyed. And that would have been a war based on science.
Anyway, my point is that I don't think that any of the answers that people have come up with so far are 100% the correct answer. I think science is currently the most correct, but that's more in terms of our history and where we came from rather than the great unknown.
So, let's get on with these theories. I'll get the most ridiculous one out of the way first.
The Collective Theory
This is a theory that I came up with years ago, and I've pretty much disregarded it now because ... well I just don't believe it. It's largely based around the human psyche. This theory is pretty much the theory that every single human in the world is psychic to a degree, but we're all linked, and all of our linked thoughts are collected into a giant great big ball of psychic stuff to make up what most religions would call God. So when something coincidental happens, like karma getting you back for something you did wrong, it's actually someone connecting to you via the Collective and dealing what must be done. In fact, this theory helps explain all coincidence, such as unnatural predictions, saying something at the same time as someone else and it's all controlled by the Collective, which in-turn is just us.
Now that I've said it again, it actually sounds like a pretty cool theory. Of course, it holds about as much weight as God does, but you know.
Oh, I forgot something. It would also explain why people feel connected to God when they pray. Of course, that can also be entirely linked with the human condition. The person believes that they are connected to God when they pray, and therefore it is likely that they'll feel something when they do pray. In fact, that links nicely in to my next theory.
The Human Condition
As I said, it is very likely that all people, when they pray, feel connected to God simply because they believe that they are. You can condition yourself to feel pretty much anything when doing a certain activity. Like, if you believe that you will bruise your left knee when playing the piano, then there's a very high chance that your knee will bruise the next time you play the piano. Of course, you really have to believe it. Same with seeing ghosts and stuff. If you believe in ghosts, then you're much more likely to feel a presence or even bloody well see one than someone who doesn't believe in them at all.
What I like about this theory is that it can pretty much prove the existence of God from a certain point of view, but of course the drawback is that it can prove the existence of Superman as well. My point is, every day a billion people wake up and are either happy or sad or want to kill fuck loads of people or save the lives of fuck loads of people because they believe that God is watching over them. God has an actual effect on the day-to-day lives of people, and even if He isn't real that's got to mean something right?
Of course, I haven't yet said whether or not this is any good.
In some regards, being a worshipper of a higher power is a good thing. It can make people better for it, but as soon as they try and convert that's when I believe it starts turning bad. You see, the need to impart your beliefs on other people suggests that you think that the other person's answer to life is wrong, and that can then alter your perception of them. Before you know it, your name is Adolf, you've risen to power in Germany and you're building Concentration Camps.
So my point is this, I know plenty of people who sit either side of the God line. The reason that these people are my friends is because they haven't told me to believe in one or the other. Well, y'know, aside from the occasional atheist, but that's because they're stuck up and need to be conditioned to shut the fuck up about religion. I guess at leas the atheists haven't yet decided to start murdering people with religion though. But of course, there's probably an atheist cult in America who are just about ready to do it.
Just be careful with how you view the world, hey kids?
Pete out.
I, on the other hand, have no strong feelings one way or the other. That's right, I'm an agnostic. To get the plate set and everything understood, I'll tell you now that I completely agree with science in every single notion. Don't get me wrong though, atheists are stupid. I can tell you that I have honestly researched most (it's probably impossible to research all of them, since some of them are dead or so new that it hasn't yet come to my attention, or indeed there's a religion followed by a tribe somewhere in the Amazon blah blah) religions, and of course science as well, because I wanted to get everything straight in my head. I wanted to know what everyone believed so that I could deduce what the best possible answer to life is. Unsurprisingly, most of the religions that fight against each other are exactly the same.
Oh, you know what just occurred to me. Loads of atheists will claim that most wars are fought on the basis of religious disagreement and not science. Yeah, well, let me tell you this. World War I was fought for like a billion different reasons, and one being that Kaiser Willhelm wanted a navy to rival Britain's. Okay, that's not religion, but it's not really science either. However, was the Cold War anything to do with religion at all? Or was it indeed about being more scientifically advanced than the enemy? If that turned into a war, then the world would have been destroyed. And that would have been a war based on science.
Anyway, my point is that I don't think that any of the answers that people have come up with so far are 100% the correct answer. I think science is currently the most correct, but that's more in terms of our history and where we came from rather than the great unknown.
So, let's get on with these theories. I'll get the most ridiculous one out of the way first.
The Collective Theory
This is a theory that I came up with years ago, and I've pretty much disregarded it now because ... well I just don't believe it. It's largely based around the human psyche. This theory is pretty much the theory that every single human in the world is psychic to a degree, but we're all linked, and all of our linked thoughts are collected into a giant great big ball of psychic stuff to make up what most religions would call God. So when something coincidental happens, like karma getting you back for something you did wrong, it's actually someone connecting to you via the Collective and dealing what must be done. In fact, this theory helps explain all coincidence, such as unnatural predictions, saying something at the same time as someone else and it's all controlled by the Collective, which in-turn is just us.
Now that I've said it again, it actually sounds like a pretty cool theory. Of course, it holds about as much weight as God does, but you know.
Oh, I forgot something. It would also explain why people feel connected to God when they pray. Of course, that can also be entirely linked with the human condition. The person believes that they are connected to God when they pray, and therefore it is likely that they'll feel something when they do pray. In fact, that links nicely in to my next theory.
The Human Condition
As I said, it is very likely that all people, when they pray, feel connected to God simply because they believe that they are. You can condition yourself to feel pretty much anything when doing a certain activity. Like, if you believe that you will bruise your left knee when playing the piano, then there's a very high chance that your knee will bruise the next time you play the piano. Of course, you really have to believe it. Same with seeing ghosts and stuff. If you believe in ghosts, then you're much more likely to feel a presence or even bloody well see one than someone who doesn't believe in them at all.
What I like about this theory is that it can pretty much prove the existence of God from a certain point of view, but of course the drawback is that it can prove the existence of Superman as well. My point is, every day a billion people wake up and are either happy or sad or want to kill fuck loads of people or save the lives of fuck loads of people because they believe that God is watching over them. God has an actual effect on the day-to-day lives of people, and even if He isn't real that's got to mean something right?
Of course, I haven't yet said whether or not this is any good.
In some regards, being a worshipper of a higher power is a good thing. It can make people better for it, but as soon as they try and convert that's when I believe it starts turning bad. You see, the need to impart your beliefs on other people suggests that you think that the other person's answer to life is wrong, and that can then alter your perception of them. Before you know it, your name is Adolf, you've risen to power in Germany and you're building Concentration Camps.
So my point is this, I know plenty of people who sit either side of the God line. The reason that these people are my friends is because they haven't told me to believe in one or the other. Well, y'know, aside from the occasional atheist, but that's because they're stuck up and need to be conditioned to shut the fuck up about religion. I guess at leas the atheists haven't yet decided to start murdering people with religion though. But of course, there's probably an atheist cult in America who are just about ready to do it.
Just be careful with how you view the world, hey kids?
Pete out.
IT'S SUNNY
I really have no idea how I used to write so many new posts. It's ridiculous. I guess I'm working on loads of video work nowadays though.
I shall not abandon this blog though, ever.
Pete out.
Wednesday 25 July 2012
The LOGO Saga!
Okay, so this is the first short film I've ever done, and what do you know it's entirely about my LOGO from my popular YouTube channel. Hah, that's funny because I'm not popular at all. I mean, I'm sure the people who do follow me actually like me, but you know... the internet isn't my biggest fan. But, the internet is full of mini and very large Hitlers, so I'm not too bothered about that. No, seriously, if the people of the internet decided to make a violent army, then there'd be like eight holocausts.
I actually had an argument about the definition of a holocaust recently. It was with a Jew. I accidentally said that there was going to be a holocaust, as opposed to an apocalypse, and he was all like, "SAY WHAAAAT?!" And I was like, "Oh, did I just say holocaust? I meant apocalypse." And then he was all like, "Sounds like someone has it in for the Jews." And then I was like, "What? Holocausts aren't about Jewish people. It kind of fits what I was saying anyway. You can have a holocaust of the human race." And then he was like, "Yeah, but it's come to mean the extermination of the Jews now." However, in this particular circumstance, I was not in the wrong. Okay, there is better terminology to use, such as genocide, but the word genocide has always been related to the ... Rwanda thing... you know, with that tribe that wiped out that other tribe... there was a movie about it... the UN was involved and then as soon as they backed out the one tribe wiped out the other tribe... God damn it, I'm annoyed at myself now. My point is, we shouldn't segregate words. Like, there was a time when "The War" meant "World War One", or indeed during the Cold War it was "World War II", but now it doesn't mean a damn thing, and that's good. Segregating words is not a good idea.
Anyway, let's not get sidetracked by the segregation of words. This short film was a chance to prove to myself that I could do something vaguely cinematic while keeping in with my style of filming, and I think I've done that very well if I'm perfectly honest. It was also very, very fun to film.
I may even do a behind-the-scenes possibly.
Anyway, it all started in Ireland with the castle scene. It was just made up on the spot. I needed a scene that essentially told me to go back to England, but we had a castle, and then we decided to do the Monty Python parody. It was originally supposed to be a Japanese guy who told me to go back to England and there'd be some kind of moral story behind the whole thing, but then the French Irish Morons were brought in and I thought "How about I kill people instead? Yeah, turn me into a murderer. Good idea." It was at that moment that I knew how I was going to end the LOGO Saga, which is good, because I didn't previously know.
When I got home from Ireland I filmed the introduction stuff with Chris Devey and the clone shots as well. Somehow, and I don't know how, but it is a lot of fun filming Pizzle. He's such a fun, pathetic character to play as. Giving Electric Teapots Pete his own identity was born at this point as well, and he appears to be a more laid back, sarcastic guy than Cliché Pete is. I haven't yet decided if that should be a recurring feature.
Anyway, when we went to Camber Sands, I filmed the scenes for ET Pete and Pizzle. They weren't all that amazing, and the fight between Pizzle and Jerome left something to be desired, but I am, after-all, an amateur, and I am, after-all, working with amateurs who have even less acting experience than I do. Wait, they took drama. Hmm... Nope, I still think I'm a better actor than Dukey. I do a lot of it nowadays. I mean, I know I'm acting myself or Pizzle, but hey, it's still remembering a script and being a certain way. And that's all acting is, right? No one has ever said to me, "I'm not convinced that you are you," so by that reckoning I'm one of the greatest actors of all time.
When we got back from Camber, the main challenge started: staging a sword fight. It was actually surprisingly hard. I was planning on making it up as I went along, but it turns out that that looks shit on camera, so we had to spend a good twenty minutes choreographing each shot, and that's twenty minutes before every single shot. It was loads of good fun though, and you have to admit, it looks damn good, right? I have to thank Josh mainly for that, since he taught me some fencing techniques.
This has been one of my favourite, and hardest things to film solo. Of course now, though, it's time to crack on with Granite Moths. I also want to have a crack at this Minecraft project I've been trying to work on, but it's not going anywhere at the moment. I just need to write the script and scramble together some voice actors. I want it to have as little dialogue as possible though. WAIT. What if it had no dialogue at all? That'd be pretty weird and cool. Actually, no, never mind, I don't like that idea. Little dialogue works, but I don't think no dialogue would work at all, seeing as I'm cameoing loads of- WHOA, very nearly gave you a spoiler.
Anyway, if you haven't yet, watch the LOGO Saga, and keep watching my channel! Keep watching my blog as well, because I'm sure I'll come up with some new theories and stuff soon. I would really like to do this comic thing I talked about before as well... but I'm no drawer and I still can't think of a good storyline. I might parody Batman, but from a Cliché point of view. I could do it as video series... Maybe. I'll have a think.
Pete out.
Wednesday 18 July 2012
Electric Teapots: 5 SECOND WEEK
Uh... yeah, this is a little later than when they were done, but fuck it. This week for Electric Teapots we've produced five second videos in parody of the Five Second Videos channel. I would link it, but I've never actually watched them before, so there you go.
Done.
Pete out.
Monday 16 July 2012
Camber Sands
Whoa, so there was like, this whale, and then there was a massive explosion.
Anyway, Camber Sands.
This was the holiday that just passed with the company of Dukey, Josh and Joe. The dudes, as I like the call them. As you may well have guessed, Camber Sands is the name of a holiday park, and not actually a place. We stayed in a caravan built to hold up to eight people, so we actually had enough room to wank- I mean cook bacon. Or something. Swing a cat, that's the one.
*Cough, cough*
So, the photacular (that's the adjective for something that can be photographed) nature of this trip was dampened by the fact that we were consistently next to or in water. There was a swimming pool and an ocean. The pool was just grand. It was only 1.7m deep, so there was no chance of drowning, and it also had a current machine. That's a machine that produces a current in the pool, so that there was a chance of drowning to make up for the shallow nature of the pool. Either way, while my body is too weak to help me swim for long periods of time, I did indeed enjoy the time we spent together frolicking with our tops off- I mean playing innocently in the pool.
There was a game we played that involved pinning the opponent's feet to the ground. I suppose that, too, would have simulated drowning in the ocean if there were a shark or octopus or sharktopus nearby.
On the Wednesday we went to Hastings because it sounded cool and there we saw a way to inform Rohan if we were in danger:
I like Rohan, Rohan's cool.
That's just a super cool picture.
That's just two morons doing their moron thing.
That's also just a cool picture.
Anyway, on the Thursday some ocean was involved and I was too ill to go in. There was also a burial involved, but I was too ill to die, so Dukey went in instead. I'd love to share a picture, but Dukey hasn't bothered to upload them yet. In fact, I'm going to shout at Dukey now.
That feels better.
Anyway, it was a right laugh all the while we were there. We could have died multiple times, and if that's not the symbol for a good holiday, then what is?
Being alive, that's what.
Pete out.
Anyway, Camber Sands.
This was the holiday that just passed with the company of Dukey, Josh and Joe. The dudes, as I like the call them. As you may well have guessed, Camber Sands is the name of a holiday park, and not actually a place. We stayed in a caravan built to hold up to eight people, so we actually had enough room to wank- I mean cook bacon. Or something. Swing a cat, that's the one.
*Cough, cough*
So, the photacular (that's the adjective for something that can be photographed) nature of this trip was dampened by the fact that we were consistently next to or in water. There was a swimming pool and an ocean. The pool was just grand. It was only 1.7m deep, so there was no chance of drowning, and it also had a current machine. That's a machine that produces a current in the pool, so that there was a chance of drowning to make up for the shallow nature of the pool. Either way, while my body is too weak to help me swim for long periods of time, I did indeed enjoy the time we spent together frolicking with our tops off- I mean playing innocently in the pool.
There was a game we played that involved pinning the opponent's feet to the ground. I suppose that, too, would have simulated drowning in the ocean if there were a shark or octopus or sharktopus nearby.
On the Wednesday we went to Hastings because it sounded cool and there we saw a way to inform Rohan if we were in danger:
I like Rohan, Rohan's cool.
That's just a super cool picture.
That's just two morons doing their moron thing.
That's also just a cool picture.
Anyway, on the Thursday some ocean was involved and I was too ill to go in. There was also a burial involved, but I was too ill to die, so Dukey went in instead. I'd love to share a picture, but Dukey hasn't bothered to upload them yet. In fact, I'm going to shout at Dukey now.
That feels better.
Anyway, it was a right laugh all the while we were there. We could have died multiple times, and if that's not the symbol for a good holiday, then what is?
Being alive, that's what.
Pete out.
Sunday 8 July 2012
Cliché Theories: Did Dinosaurs Invent the IPod?
The answer to the above question is: No.
Sorry for the massive spoiler alert there. If you remember my last entry for Cliché Theories about attention spans, then you may well remember that at the end I wrote:
"Next time on Cliché Theories: Did dinosaurs really invent the iPod?
Okay, that's a lie, I won't be doing that."
Well guess what, fuckers, THAT WAS A LIE! I AM DOING THAT!
This isn't an actual theory, just it seems convenient for me to do it.
See, if you think about it carefully, the design of the iPod is well-suited for dinosaurs. Some of them have fingers, a lot of them have flat feet like elephants, and guess what? The iPod fits both of those niches.
Of course, I'm talking about the original iPod, the iPod when iPods were still cool.
See? Look. One massive button. That was the iPod's main feature. The fact that it was fucking easy to use. Even a Stegosaurus could use that. Humans have fingers and intelligence, whereas dinosaurs had very little of either. They were basically just big eating machines, but the iPod caters to that market. The dumb, mindless animal market. With massive hands/feet. Now I'm not saying that iPod owners are fat or stupid, it's just that if you were fat or stupid, you probably had an iPod, whereas intelligent people just used their phones or some complicated Sony device.
Oh yeah, I don't like Apple tech. Just getting that out there.
Just let me show you an example of one of the leading competitors for the iPod during that time.
Wow. You know what happened when I searched "Popular MP3 player"? I got a search result that consisted entirely of iPods and iPod shuffles and iPod rip-offs. Guess there are more dinosaurs alive today than we thought.
There you are. That was a very popular MP3 player design. Something you could plug straight into your computer. In many ways, it was much, much better than the iPod. More convenient. But what the fuck would a dinosaur do with that? They can't just expect to operate something that technical, with all those fiddly buttons. No, they need one big central button.
Speaking of the Shuffle, in fact, that would be even better. That doesn't even have a screen for them to break. They just push the big, central button (it's got other little fiddly buttons, but not the 'on' and 'play' buttons, so they're not really needed) and listen to whatever comes up. In fact, there's no point in having a screen for dinosaurs because they can't read.
Don't you dare point out the logic that dinosaurs wouldn't understand music. Perhaps if they listened then they'd gain sentience over time! After all, isn't music the most basic form of communication?
Huh, that being the case, today's music is one massive string of insults. Even if you can't understand what Justin Bieber is saying, you feel aurally raped. See what I did there? I wrote aural instead of oral. That's clever. And witty.
Anyway, I think the evidence is clear. The iPod, and definitely the Shuffle, were invented exclusively for dinosaurs... a few million years late.
Speaking of audio devices created for creatures/people who were around before the invention of electronic devices, check out an MP3 player designed exclusively for Jesus:
Damn those fundamentalists be crazy.
Anyway, Apple is controlled by dinosaurs. End of.
Oh wait, that's an entirely different theory. Guess that'll have to wait until next time!
Pete out.
Sorry for the massive spoiler alert there. If you remember my last entry for Cliché Theories about attention spans, then you may well remember that at the end I wrote:
"Next time on Cliché Theories: Did dinosaurs really invent the iPod?
Okay, that's a lie, I won't be doing that."
Well guess what, fuckers, THAT WAS A LIE! I AM DOING THAT!
This isn't an actual theory, just it seems convenient for me to do it.
See, if you think about it carefully, the design of the iPod is well-suited for dinosaurs. Some of them have fingers, a lot of them have flat feet like elephants, and guess what? The iPod fits both of those niches.
Of course, I'm talking about the original iPod, the iPod when iPods were still cool.
See? Look. One massive button. That was the iPod's main feature. The fact that it was fucking easy to use. Even a Stegosaurus could use that. Humans have fingers and intelligence, whereas dinosaurs had very little of either. They were basically just big eating machines, but the iPod caters to that market. The dumb, mindless animal market. With massive hands/feet. Now I'm not saying that iPod owners are fat or stupid, it's just that if you were fat or stupid, you probably had an iPod, whereas intelligent people just used their phones or some complicated Sony device.
Oh yeah, I don't like Apple tech. Just getting that out there.
Just let me show you an example of one of the leading competitors for the iPod during that time.
Wow. You know what happened when I searched "Popular MP3 player"? I got a search result that consisted entirely of iPods and iPod shuffles and iPod rip-offs. Guess there are more dinosaurs alive today than we thought.
There you are. That was a very popular MP3 player design. Something you could plug straight into your computer. In many ways, it was much, much better than the iPod. More convenient. But what the fuck would a dinosaur do with that? They can't just expect to operate something that technical, with all those fiddly buttons. No, they need one big central button.
Speaking of the Shuffle, in fact, that would be even better. That doesn't even have a screen for them to break. They just push the big, central button (it's got other little fiddly buttons, but not the 'on' and 'play' buttons, so they're not really needed) and listen to whatever comes up. In fact, there's no point in having a screen for dinosaurs because they can't read.
Don't you dare point out the logic that dinosaurs wouldn't understand music. Perhaps if they listened then they'd gain sentience over time! After all, isn't music the most basic form of communication?
Huh, that being the case, today's music is one massive string of insults. Even if you can't understand what Justin Bieber is saying, you feel aurally raped. See what I did there? I wrote aural instead of oral. That's clever. And witty.
Anyway, I think the evidence is clear. The iPod, and definitely the Shuffle, were invented exclusively for dinosaurs... a few million years late.
Speaking of audio devices created for creatures/people who were around before the invention of electronic devices, check out an MP3 player designed exclusively for Jesus:
Damn those fundamentalists be crazy.
Anyway, Apple is controlled by dinosaurs. End of.
Oh wait, that's an entirely different theory. Guess that'll have to wait until next time!
Pete out.
WILD POKÉMONS!
In this week's episode, I play around with some animation techniques to make Pokémon. I think it was rather successful. It was a quicker, more animated version of the one Josh and I made for Entry #35 of Granite Moths, and I don't prefer it at all. If, however, I need to use the Pokémon animation again (which I probably will at some point) I know now to make a combination of the two.
Camber Sands next week, whoo!
Pete out.
Monday 2 July 2012
A Pigeon's Tale
(23 October 2009)
Dear intruders of
my personal life,
I guess the best
place to start is with an introduction. I am Master Sergeant Blue Beak of
Squadron One, the primary fighting unit of the Resistance. I’ve led a life of
subtlety, my first memory was of me falling into a snow drift and when I
emerged I was completely blue. Thus, I was called Blue of the family of Beak.
“Whoa, dude, that’s some pretty deep shit.”
“Yeah, well, we can’t use pens can we?”
Oh yeah, I’m a
pigeon.
The one who claimed
that I was writing in shit is called Sergeant Buck Beak, my cousin and
inferior. Inferior is the right word to use when discussing those of a lower
rank to you, right? Oh well. We’ve formed a mutual respect for one another,
something that doesn’t come often in the air force, especially amongst Squadron
One’s ranks.
For the record, I
wasn’t writing in shit. I was writing
with shit. No pens, remember?
Blue Beak finished up his entry and folded the soggy
piece of material he had used and placed it under his wing. Buck Beak nodded
towards the centre of the square they were perched in, and watched as a small
human child chased away a flock of birds that were previously munching on the
leftovers the humans had dropped.
“They’re attacking! It’s like yesterday all over again!”
the young and startled pigeon flew over its commanding officers to escape the
terror.
“Rookies, everything scares them,” Blue Beak stated.
“Give them a break, Master Sergeant; things are starting
to get worse. The other day an adult human with a large stick attacked us. It’s
not kids that are bothering us anymore,” Buck Beak said with a look of concern
in his eyes.
“Ooh, look out, rogue human infant at twelve o’clock.
Time to show the runt what real pigeons are made of,” Blue and Buck perched
perfectly still as the human child wailed, squealed and kicked at the air.
After about half a minute the child gave up and stared menacingly at the
pigeons that did not appear fazed by the thing. Blue presented his wings and
shouted angrily at the child, who ran off crying. “Yeah, that’s right, run off
you stupid creature. Humans, I really do not understand them.”
“Tell me about it. Shall I recall the Squadron?”
“Yes, I think immediate retraining is required.”
“You said it, sir.”
**
(26 October 2009)
The retraining is
going terrible. We tried to inspire the troops by showing them a training
montage from Rocky Beak, and then they all thought that slapping a bag for five
seconds, and then jumping up and down for another five seconds whilst keeping
in time to the music is what training is all about. Lieutenant Dare Wing
decided to try and inspire the troops himself.
“Never in my time have I seen such sorry excuses for
Airmen. I mean, do you really know
what being part of the Resistance is all about? According to my records, your
training is up to scratch. Master Sergeant Blue Beak has done his best to
ensure that we get the best out of you. So what the fuck is up with you
rookies? What is it? You were picked to be in Squadron One because you were the
so called best of the best. Well why
don’t you display it? Someone, please explain it to me,” the Lieutenant knew he
wouldn’t get an answer, their embarrassed, sorry-looking beaks told him that
much, but he knew that being a ball breaker would work with these Airmen.
Thus, hours upon hours of star-jumps initiated, followed
by hours and hours of marching.
“Permission to speak, sir,” said Airman Tuft Feathers
with the sound of pain on his voice.
“Permission granted,” Sergeant Buck Beak said.
“Why are we walking for so long when we can just fly?”
“Because, while flying is all well and good, and will
indeed be the best way to escape from any situation, how would you cope if you
were to lose the operation of one of your wings?”
“Well... I guess I’d ... walk.”
“Exactly, Airman, you’d walk your sorry ass back to base
camp. If we didn’t do this constantly then you’d be in a sticky situation
indeed.”
Back at the base camp, Blue was discussing things with
Dare over a make-shift table, with small amounts of bread that they would
occasionally peck at. Base camp was on top of an abandoned car park that
conveniently overlooked the centre of town that the humans were constantly
bustling through, day and night.
“What do you think, Master Sergeant? I’m asking you this
now, what do you really think of the human threat?” Dare said, putting emphasis
into his voice.
“I don’t think we should live like we’ve been doing for
so long now. We take the scraps of food that the humans leave behind, and quite
frankly I don’t think that’ll cut it anymore. I mean, they’re actually clearing
litter now. It’s like they want us all dead.”
“I agree with you, Blue Beak, we need to contact the
General right away. Where’s my red phone?”
“I’m right here, sir,” a pigeon that was strangely
coloured red stepped up with a small pouch attached to his leg. Lieutenant Dare
Wing placed the parchment he had just written up into the pouch and Red Phone
flew off.
A number of hours later Red Phone returned with a new
parchment.
“Ah, the General says hello,” Dare stated whilst reading
the parchment.
“We really need to find a better way of communicating,”
Blue said, peering over Dare’s wing.
“Maybe we could take something from the humans.”
“Yes, they do put strange cuboids up their ears and then
speak into them. Perhaps we can develop a similar technology.”
“We’re really moving into realms that we’ve never dared
venture before. Red Phone, I’m going to give you a lengthier message, make sure
the General does the same. Unless the General orders you to piss off, you are
not to leave his side until he gives us the go ahead on my idea.”
“What is your idea, sir?”
“Oh but that would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it?”
**
“Squadron One, rally to me,” upon Dare’s command the
pigeons waddled over and stood in formation in front of him. “This is an
important mission men, you are entrusted to boost the morale of pigeons
everywhere, to ensure that more and more follow our example and stop taking the
humans’ fucking leftovers. We will strike the café immediately and plunder as
much as we can, and at the same time prove to the humans that we are more than
just a harmless nuisance. We shall be known as a deadly nuisance, threatening
their very survival as a species!”
“Sir, that’s a little over the top,” Buck added.
“Yes, well… I like to dream a little. Now, my faithful
pigeons, fly like you’ve been trained by professionals, which you have!”
(27 October)
The order was given
and I started to beat my wings. It was a sensation I felt every day, yet I
still absolutely loved the feeling of anti-gravity beneath me, like nothing
could bring me back down.
We took flight, and
headed towards the human café, where the creatures were happily munching on
scones and drinking coffee. That coffee would soon be full of my stool.
The shit bombings started and the humans instantly ran
for cover. Within moments the men, women and children were covered in bird
droppings. Plops in their drinks told them that their coffees were no longer
drinkable, and immediately it seemed that the humans had lost this battle. But,
umbrellas and parasols went up and the shit was no longer effective.
“Sir, they’ve deployed shields, what are we going to do
now?” Buck screamed at Blue.
“Buck, we’re going to scare the living daylights out of
them,” Blue winked at Buck, “You’re my wingman.”
Blue and Buck broke from the rest of the squadron and
flew beneath the human shielding and the already frightened humans shrieked and
tried to fling random objects at the brave pigeons. Several of the humans even
formed lumps in the back of their trousers in the terror. Hah.
The other pigeons flew in and started picking up all the
food substances and mini milk cartons they could get their claws on. Master
Sergeant Blue hovered on the spot firing orders at the young pigeons, but
smiled at how well the assault had gone.
Suddenly a burly human in greasy clothes burst out of the
café and brandished a wooden tray. Unfortunately Buck was amongst the pigeons,
and when he gave the order for them to disperse, the tray smashed into him,
sending him flying towards the ground. Blue spotted this and immediately
started cursing at the human.
“BUCK, NO! Airmen, use your beaks!” the pigeons obeyed
and swarmed the bastard human, pecking at him wildly. Blue made his way down to
his cousin, and then held Buck’s head in his wing. “Stay with me, Buck, you’re
one of the finest soldiers I know!”
“Damn, I was only two days away from retirement,” Buck
coughed out.
“No you’re not; you’re several years away from
retirement.”
“I know… I just wanted to say something a black man would
say.”
“Yet, I’m still not going to let you die.”
“Yes you are, Blue. I can’t feel anything anymore. The
world is cold and I can see the light.”
“That’s just your concussion talking.”
“Blue, there is no way I can survive this. Give me the
burial of a hero.”
“You didn’t even need to ask me that, Buck. You’ll get
the best damn burial this world has ever seen.”
I called off the
attack when the pigeons had gathered enough stuff, and I carried Buck with me,
to make sure that his memory would live on forever.
**
(28 October)
Today is the day
that we bury Sergeant Buck Beak, the best damn airman I’ve ever known. I... I
can’t write anymore. It seems worthless. Everyone’s faces could tell the
picture. Buck was everyone’s friend. Let’s get this over with.
Squadron One stood in formation at Base Camp as Sergeant
Buck Beak's body was carried past them in a cardboard coffin. The coffin was
then placed down next to the gutter, which had been purposefully filled with
the cleanest water for the occasion. The pigeon anthem was played, but the
gusto and heart it usually seemed to have didn’t have that effect any longer.
It seemed that the musicians, too, were mourning.
Blue Beak marched up to the coffin, placed his wing on
the lid and then slumped his head down. The Master Sergeant would rarely ever
be seen standing in any way but bolt-upright, wings clasped behind his back as
if a superior was constantly watching. But now he was reduced a sobbing slouch.
Lieutenant Dare Wing placed his wing on Blue’s shoulder and his head jerked up
about half an inch as his instinct told him to snap to attention, but his heart
didn’t want to deal with regulation that day.
**
(15 November)
Our plan worked.
Beaks everywhere are taking flight to ruin the day-to-day activities of the
humans. The Resistance continues to push forward as we work our way further and
further into the human fortresses. Everyday our food stocks rise, so much so
that rationing has been cut back immensely. Our understanding of human
technology is starting to improve, all because one day Tuft Feathers pushed a
button on a stolen communications device and it started emitting a noise that
we now know to be called a “Justin Bieber”. We do not know why the humans
invented the Justin Bieber machine, but the noise that expels from it is
monstrous. Plans are being set in motion to find the source of this Justin
Bieber and we plan to eradicate it.
Still, I do hope
Buck’s death was worth it. He inspired millions of pigeons around the world to
let loose their shackles and fight back. Apparently the pigeons in France are
doing very well. The French humans just don’t care enough to retaliate, and
simply resort to leaving food outside for the pigeons to feast on. Yet, back in
here in England, the fight will continue for many generations to come.
One day, the humans
will treat us as equals.
Sunday 1 July 2012
A Super Irish Adventure
POW! That's right, I went to Ireland, and it was awesome. You know what? Ireland is an awesome country. Kerry's pretty good as well. That's a county in the south west of Ireland. More populated with old people than attractive women, but if my choices to go to places were based on looks alone, then I'd go to Northern Ireland. It'd also not make for a very good holiday thesis. Thesis is the wrong word to use there. I don't care.
So the week began with some trains and with some planes and with some ... automobilanes and soon we were at our desired location. A cottage in the middle of Fuckknowswhere. You may be thinking that Gaelic sounds like a bit of a harsh language, seeing as one of its towns is called Fuckknowswhere, but the truth is that I made up that name. It's not real. The town we were closest to was called Cahersiveen. The reason I made up a place name is because we were not in that town, and were in fast surrounded by fields. But that's what Ireland is all about in my opinion, fields and niceness and the kindest people on the face of the planet and majestic views and sparkling seas and a proverbial fuck-load of cows. Like, a metric fuck-ton of cows. You see a field? You see a cow. You see a house? There are cows next to it. In the middle of town? There's a cow effigy. Like, the only place that they like cows more is India. A by shit do they love cows. I certainly hope that their milk tastes nicer, or all that worshipping cow nonsense will have been for nothing.
Either way, let's talk about the holiday. The first day was very much just settling in, finding out where everything was, annoying each other by moving stuff around. In one circumstance moving my entire bed to another realm of existence. Moving Joe's clothes and forming them into a creepy-looking doll.
And you know what makes holidays all the more worthwhile? Pictures. Like, fucking loads of pictures. The best pictures, however, can only be formulated by visiting the most beautiful places.
So the week began with some trains and with some planes and with some ... automobilanes and soon we were at our desired location. A cottage in the middle of Fuckknowswhere. You may be thinking that Gaelic sounds like a bit of a harsh language, seeing as one of its towns is called Fuckknowswhere, but the truth is that I made up that name. It's not real. The town we were closest to was called Cahersiveen. The reason I made up a place name is because we were not in that town, and were in fast surrounded by fields. But that's what Ireland is all about in my opinion, fields and niceness and the kindest people on the face of the planet and majestic views and sparkling seas and a proverbial fuck-load of cows. Like, a metric fuck-ton of cows. You see a field? You see a cow. You see a house? There are cows next to it. In the middle of town? There's a cow effigy. Like, the only place that they like cows more is India. A by shit do they love cows. I certainly hope that their milk tastes nicer, or all that worshipping cow nonsense will have been for nothing.
Either way, let's talk about the holiday. The first day was very much just settling in, finding out where everything was, annoying each other by moving stuff around. In one circumstance moving my entire bed to another realm of existence. Moving Joe's clothes and forming them into a creepy-looking doll.
And you know what makes holidays all the more worthwhile? Pictures. Like, fucking loads of pictures. The best pictures, however, can only be formulated by visiting the most beautiful places.
This is where we went to on our first day. It was literally just a beach five minutes down a dirt track from our accommodation, but Jesus Titty Christ look at those marvellous images. Even the keenest of eyes and the snappiest of fingers couldn't have taken pictures better than those. Maybe if I owned a DSLR... but still, I owe it all to the magnificent surroundings.
And, as ever, my quest to find the world's most amazing sunsets (tied in with my quest to take a picture of a sunset everywhere I go) continues:
Now that's the best I've had in a while. Perfectly silhouetting the foreground to make the sun the focal point of the image, the mountain gloriously tinted with orange and the clouds just thick enough to amplify the effect of the Sun without impeding the visuals. Damn that's a good sunset.
On our travels, we also met a ridiculously photogenic dog:
He's just so photogenic! Ridiculously so!
So on the ... Monday we went to Velentia Island for a little while because we were told it was a good idea, and over there we saw a pub hotel, some ocean and some people in a death-trap. I mean a water trampoline. There was also the option to go suiciding. I mean kayaking. But it turned out that all of these death-related, I mean water-related activities started the next week, and the only reason that these morons, I mean people, were in the water on the deathpoline was because they'd booked it. That was a shame, because I really felt like drowning this week.
You may be noticing my negative outlook towards water-related activities. Boats are fine. Boats are essentially an extension of land, but instead of it being stationary, it takes you from one piece of land to another. This brings me on to my second point. We have this wonderful thing called land, where we get to be dry, and our feet are on the floor, and the largest and deadliest creatures are bears. And it's really easy to control the bear population. Underneath the water's surface, there is another entire world that is just waiting to eat us. There are things like sharks, killer whales, jellyfish, giant squid, and creatures that can theoretically live forever. Like lobsters. On the surface, they just seem like large crustaceans, but if you go deep enough, there may well be a lobster the size of your house. That's another thing, on land our feet are on the ground and we can't die, but in the water, who knows what could happen? A rip current could drag you out, make you tired, punch you in the face and then you drown. Swimming in the ocean is completely overrated.
Anyway, back to Ireland. Crabs.
Oh, and capturing rays of sunshine.
My argument for Ireland being the best place ever grows stronger.
Anyway, on ... a day we hired some bikes and found a castle. But here's another picture that is awesome just before we get to that.
Anyway, Ballycarbery Castle.
Pretty cool, right? But then it started raining. And rained it did hard. So we high-tailed it back to our cottage as fast as we could. It was fucking wet. We were fucking wet. It's the kind of wet that takes two days to dry. And I wasn't wearing waterproofs. Dun dun dunn.
Uh, but yeah, my pictures have run out apart from the ones that I took on the plane, and I'm sure you've seen the generic out-of-the-window-from-the-inside-of-the-plane picture before.
So that concludes my trip to Ireland. If you feel that you have been sufficiently informed of my holiday, then go and have a bagel in my honour. If you do not, then eat something you don't like. Like lettuce. Nobody actually likes lettuce. Eat lots of lettuce. Just pick up some leaves, and eat them. Don't do it maliciously, just do it because I told you to and because this post has actually been very informative so there.
It was a bloody good trip, though.
Pete out.
Wednesday 20 June 2012
Salute to Stupidity: FOOTBALL STUFF
So this is a conversation that I had with Peter Duke discussing the new design for his football website. Soon later, the Chinese were mentioned. If you are offended by any of the following, I don't mean to offend, because I'm British and therefore so polite that my balls shrink. See? It works both ways. I'm not racist. But I also have the manhood of Chuck Norris so you can fuck off with that earlier comment. Either way, don't be offended, just laugh along because laughing is what keeps us all sane. Unless you laugh at morbid situations, then you're just a fucking nutjob.
Anyway, let's get on with this. Oh, and another warning, this was a Facebook conversation, so the usual warnings about disjointed sentences and stuff applies.
Peter Duke: "Well I'm kind of hoping the Olympics could be the first thing we cover."
Me: "Maybe"
Dukey: "Not sure about it though, you'd need to be writing a preview/report almost daily."
Me: "There's more than one game? Ooh, new idea. How about, now this is a great idea, just hear me out"
Dukey: "In the Olympics? There's a whole group stage xD"
Me: "They take every football team to the Nevada desert. Right, and they set up one goal. And it's a massive knock-out tournament. And it'll take DAYS. But people would watch it."
Dukey: "They would, without a doubt."
Me: "Hell, I would watch that."
Dukey: "Right I'm installing myself as editor for this site."
Me: "Upwards of a thousand people trying to get at a ball. Priceless."
Dukey: "It would be. And you can go on YouTube and see 98 little kids playing 11 men. It's hilarious."
Me: "I'm going to find an American oil tycoon and pitch this to him."
Dukey: "There's like, no room on the pitch."
Me: "Oh?"
Dukey: "Yeeeaaaah, type Real Madrid China kids."
Me: "I assume this was some kind of charity event?"
Dukey: "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udx2K73DmMo PR I think." (Watch the video to understand the rest of the joke)
Me: "This camera work is terrible."
Dukey: "They're Chinese..."
Me: "WHAT THE FUCK. Is this what Europe is going to look like soon? Badum ts"
Dukey: ":P"
Me: "There's not even bothering about formation. They're just swarming. And I love how there's just one fat kid."
Dukey: "Me too xD!"
Me: "God this is crazy. Maybe this'll teach the Chinese that just pouring in numbers doesn't actually give you a tactical advantage. OH NO! THEY'RE LEARNING!"
Dukey: "xD!!!! It's horrifyingly adorable!"
Me: "Yeh... Do you think this is what all Storm Troopers are like when they're kids?"
Dukey: "That's the funniest thing I've read all day."
Me: "I'm glad."
I hope you found that as laugh-worthy as Dukey and I did. Otherwise, I guess you had to be there.
Pete out.
Anyway, let's get on with this. Oh, and another warning, this was a Facebook conversation, so the usual warnings about disjointed sentences and stuff applies.
Peter Duke: "Well I'm kind of hoping the Olympics could be the first thing we cover."
Me: "Maybe"
Dukey: "Not sure about it though, you'd need to be writing a preview/report almost daily."
Me: "There's more than one game? Ooh, new idea. How about, now this is a great idea, just hear me out"
Dukey: "In the Olympics? There's a whole group stage xD"
Me: "They take every football team to the Nevada desert. Right, and they set up one goal. And it's a massive knock-out tournament. And it'll take DAYS. But people would watch it."
Dukey: "They would, without a doubt."
Me: "Hell, I would watch that."
Dukey: "Right I'm installing myself as editor for this site."
Me: "Upwards of a thousand people trying to get at a ball. Priceless."
Dukey: "It would be. And you can go on YouTube and see 98 little kids playing 11 men. It's hilarious."
Me: "I'm going to find an American oil tycoon and pitch this to him."
Dukey: "There's like, no room on the pitch."
Me: "Oh?"
Dukey: "Yeeeaaaah, type Real Madrid China kids."
Me: "I assume this was some kind of charity event?"
Dukey: "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udx2K73DmMo PR I think." (Watch the video to understand the rest of the joke)
Me: "This camera work is terrible."
Dukey: "They're Chinese..."
Me: "WHAT THE FUCK. Is this what Europe is going to look like soon? Badum ts"
Dukey: ":P"
Me: "There's not even bothering about formation. They're just swarming. And I love how there's just one fat kid."
Dukey: "Me too xD!"
Me: "God this is crazy. Maybe this'll teach the Chinese that just pouring in numbers doesn't actually give you a tactical advantage. OH NO! THEY'RE LEARNING!"
Dukey: "xD!!!! It's horrifyingly adorable!"
Me: "Yeh... Do you think this is what all Storm Troopers are like when they're kids?"
Dukey: "That's the funniest thing I've read all day."
Me: "I'm glad."
I hope you found that as laugh-worthy as Dukey and I did. Otherwise, I guess you had to be there.
Pete out.
Tuesday 19 June 2012
Electric Teapots: STEREOTYPES WEEK
So this week has been a bit controversial and some people got really angsty because Kesh mentioned the words "potato" and "famine" in a sentence. I did as well and I was told off by the Ire I was talking to.
Huh, I thought I invented the word Ire, but apparently it's real. Just so you know, an Ire (as I invented it) is an Irish person. British people are called Brits and American people are called Americans, Canadians, Germans etc., so I figured Ireland needed one as well. Ire. It just works. Ohhh, of course, it means "anger or intense fury" but can also be used as an abbreviation of Ireland. Well, Ires are now going to be the people of Ireland. It makes perfect sense.
Anyway, I'm probably done. Kesh's video was hilarious, James' video felt a bit rushed and my video was pretty cool.
I'm off to Ireland next week, so no posts, but when I get back there will be a bucket load of stuff. I want to leave it with some good content-to-go though, so I might see if I can set some time aside just to blog stuff. I really want to make some short stories.
Anyway, I'm done.
Pete out.
Saturday 16 June 2012
I EXPECT YOU
Yeah... I should probably do some kind of actual blog post soon... but I truly am pulling up blanks at the moment while I work on my video projects. I will try and do that comic I talked about, but I have yet to think of any story lines. I'll try and do some short stories.
You could call this a dry spell at the moment, but trust me, soon I will be back to blogging form and it'll be awesome and cool.
Pete out.
Thursday 7 June 2012
I WON AN AWARD
This video basically describes what I talked about in my previous blog post, along with some awesome footage of my dog being a dog and some links to some cool videos.
Pete out.
Tuesday 5 June 2012
Here Comes the Summer
So on Sunday night I left DMU for the last time for the summer. For one, I'm really glad that I don't have to cook for myself for the next four months, because I was getting sick of my cooking. There's only so many different ways you can cook pasta bake. Two. It's either tuna pasta bake or pork pasta bake. Although on Sunday I did have to get rid of all my food, so I simply put all of it in the wok and then I made the cheesiest, meatiest pasta bake that you even did taste. And it was just too much to handle. I put far too much cheese in. It was verging on being a French-level of cheese. And that is a horrendous amount of cheese.
But what makes this occasion so momentous? I mean, half my friends had already left, and then I accidentally became super duper friends with everyone from the radio. Although I was drunk at the time, so that's understandable.
Well to be perfectly honest with you, this last week at DMU has been an amazingly busy week. It started with filming, and then there was more filming, and more filming, and then editing, and then more editing, and then fuck loads more editing, and then there were the Demon Media Awards. That was a fun night.
Everyone donned their finest evening-wear and headed over to the Phoenix cinema where we were given tokens for TWO FREE DRINKS!Wooow! Free alcohol is a very rare commodity, and to get it on the last night out of the year was just fabulous. Either way, this great evening started out with this:
And I helped make it! Yeah I know, I'm super cool, aren't I? A first year and involved in every major filming opportunity for Demon TV and the DSU. I think I may be the youngest in history to do so... Or at least the best.
The best.
Speaking of being the best, you'll never guess what I won.
Damn straight! I made a speech and everything. Called Ryan my rock and thanked him. Got a drink out of it. That's multiple successes there.
But that's not even the end of it. Not only did I win Best Off-Screen Male, but you see all of these other award winners?
Aside from the female categories, I was nominated in all of them. That's four categories in total. That's mental. Best On-Screen (despite only being on-screen once in Fresher's Week, until of course the eventual release of Here's a Thing), Best Off-Screen (which I won), Best Newcomer and Best Show. To be fair though, there was literally no way that I wouldn't win Best Show (I was the co-director for the winner) because I've directed, co-directed, managed, and filmed almost every single show this year. I'm pretty mental.
Christ, I had a lie-in this morning. God, that was nice. I guess I shouldn't complain really, I used to get up at 7 every morning to go to school. Crazy times. Well, to be honest, I'm getting the same amount of sleep, but just shifted a few hours one way.
Oh well. After the awards we went to the SU to drink more and have a good time, and good times were had by all. It was great fun.
Anyway, that's the story of the Demon Media Awards.
So over the course of the weekend I've been giving hearty goodbyes to my Demon folks, and there are even a few of them whom I'll miss. Now that's a nod in their direction, because as my home folks will know, it takes a lot for people to "matter" to me. That's the wrong word, but I can't think of any other right now that mean what I want to mean. I'm sure you know what I mean.
In some ways I'll miss Leicester though. I kind of liked the lifestyle I was living, even though I now hate my cooking and I've always disliked Leicester. But I like DMU. I like having access to super computers to do my work, and the SU to hang out in and party in, and the Polar Bear to drink in. It's been a super cool year. Now, combine that with all of my friends together and that'd basically be my life complete.
Oh, that'd be the dream.
Pete out.
And I helped make it! Yeah I know, I'm super cool, aren't I? A first year and involved in every major filming opportunity for Demon TV and the DSU. I think I may be the youngest in history to do so... Or at least the best.
The best.
Speaking of being the best, you'll never guess what I won.
Damn straight! I made a speech and everything. Called Ryan my rock and thanked him. Got a drink out of it. That's multiple successes there.
But that's not even the end of it. Not only did I win Best Off-Screen Male, but you see all of these other award winners?
Aside from the female categories, I was nominated in all of them. That's four categories in total. That's mental. Best On-Screen (despite only being on-screen once in Fresher's Week, until of course the eventual release of Here's a Thing), Best Off-Screen (which I won), Best Newcomer and Best Show. To be fair though, there was literally no way that I wouldn't win Best Show (I was the co-director for the winner) because I've directed, co-directed, managed, and filmed almost every single show this year. I'm pretty mental.
Christ, I had a lie-in this morning. God, that was nice. I guess I shouldn't complain really, I used to get up at 7 every morning to go to school. Crazy times. Well, to be honest, I'm getting the same amount of sleep, but just shifted a few hours one way.
Oh well. After the awards we went to the SU to drink more and have a good time, and good times were had by all. It was great fun.
Anyway, that's the story of the Demon Media Awards.
So over the course of the weekend I've been giving hearty goodbyes to my Demon folks, and there are even a few of them whom I'll miss. Now that's a nod in their direction, because as my home folks will know, it takes a lot for people to "matter" to me. That's the wrong word, but I can't think of any other right now that mean what I want to mean. I'm sure you know what I mean.
In some ways I'll miss Leicester though. I kind of liked the lifestyle I was living, even though I now hate my cooking and I've always disliked Leicester. But I like DMU. I like having access to super computers to do my work, and the SU to hang out in and party in, and the Polar Bear to drink in. It's been a super cool year. Now, combine that with all of my friends together and that'd basically be my life complete.
Oh, that'd be the dream.
Pete out.
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