Peter's Childhood Adventures Episode 1 - Rockingham Castle

I'm just going to place this post right now so that ... fuck. I wanted to post at exactly 2359.

Wait. 

I can still do 0000.

Okay, I have two things to show you in one nice, handy little picture.

Mission complete. 

Yup, that proves that this post was indeed posted at exactly 00:00 and also that my blog views for this month broke all previous records! Whoo!

I've just taken a look at why that is, and most of it is Marble Hornets related, but a bunch of people got to me through crazychucks.com, which is a science website. Fuck yeah. Me and science are like that. That may have been a more effective sentence if you'd seen the action I was doing, but you can guess.

Anyway, that's not what this blog post is all about. I mean it's a part of it, yeah, but it's not the whole thing.

Today, aprés Cornwall, was actually the first day in which I would finally kick-start my childhood. Yay!

Unfortunately this is still a placeholder post because I'm very tired and it's now 00:26. You're right, it didn't take me twenty five+ minutes to do all of this, but that's because I was looking through my blog pictures and reminding myself of how awesome I am. I'm fucking awesome.

So yeah, anyway, we totally went to Rockingham Castle today and it was totally awesome. I was well excited to become a kid again, which you can probably tell by the dramatic change in my tone from horrendously posh to well wicked, mate. Hah, I say "kid again" but really what it is is "kid finally" so that's how it is, really.

Rockingham Castle is kind of cool though, with loads of cool things in it as you'd expect a castle to have.

So yeah, it's got outside castle stuff and inside castle stuff and loads of olde time stuff. Like for example this olde time archway that provides entrance to the castle:

It's even got an olde time gate. 

However, outside this entrance was an olde time sign that confused me.

Damn those digital unattended children.

Read it closely. It says "the following are not permitted in the Castle :- the use of any camera, video, still or digital unattended children." I'd like to firstly ask the people of Rockingham (because obviously this doesn't happen in other towns and villages), how exactly do you use an unattended child, whether it be digital or not? If you have the ability to use an unattended child, then you have an unattended child and therefore the child is no longer unattended. Idiots.

Anyway, there's like fifty interesting photos, so if you have me on Facebook then for the love of god just look there for all of my "olde time" jokes rather than whimpering like a small, digital, unattended child around me for not producing the exact same jokes here.

There's a massive moth in my room. If I hadn't developed a compassion for anything that can produce an amount of blood that can stain and potentially make my hand bloody then it would so be dead right now. It's not even one of those cool moths that you call Geoff and it hangs out on the bus with you in its own little hidey hole that it developed because no one actually cleans any of the buses we had for school.

I have a massive blonde hair on my arse as well. It was stuck to my rape protection device. Guess it worked.

Hmm, it feels like a while since I've posted anything random like this that you're inevitably going to like and love and find hilarious. I don't think I've actually done one in the entirety of August, and yet it is still my most popular month yet. Must be all of my science know-how getting me extra points.

Anyway, I was telling a story, wasn't I? Yeah, I'm not going to bother putting all of the pictures on here, because they're on Facebook and I know it's kind of an old philosophy of mine to just tell you to look at my pictures on Facebook despite the fact that a large percentage of my audience (I'm thinking everyone from Germany and America) don't actually have me on Facebook and therefore can't see these images, but they do say that you're not allowed to take pictures inside Rockingham Castle out of "fairness to future visitors." If I write *spoiler alert* before each picture then I can post them, right?

*Spoiler alert*

Hah! You thought it was something exciting, didn't you? Well no! It's just the sign for the wild garden. I'd wild her garden. Oh shut up. That doesn't even make sense. Okay, how about... I'd tame her wild garden? Just stop. You're embarrassing me. Nothing you didn't already do by yourself. You're so pathetic.

Oh, and if you missed the picture because you didn't want to be spoiled and read the paragraph afterwards which then told what you was in the picture and in turn that spoiled you, I'm sorry. Blame someone who isn't me. Or me.

Anyway, if you desperately wish to see what the rest of Rockingham Castle is like then why don't you visit? It only costs £9 for an adult and kids don't go free! I should so advertise for Rockingham Castle. Let's face it, no one outside of the Rockingham Forest area knows of its existence. In fact, the people who live there probably occasionally think, "What? This is a tourist attraction? No it isn't. Look, that's Jim from down the road. And there's Mary. The people we know and meet everyday just come here to keep us fed. Tourists don't come here. Oh hey, I don't know those four youths! Hey! Youths! Why are you here? Where did you come from?!"

The four youths were us, by the way. I didn't even tell you who I went with. What a despicable person I am. Well, there was Dukey who drove, Harry who talks about football a lot and then there's Bekah whose personal mission it is to discover all of the things that were missing from my childhood and is going to replace them.

0.0 I was never taught how to ride a bike! I mean, yeah, I taught myself because that's just what I did, but it's the principle. Joe, mission.

I'm eating a sausage roll. 

Salute to Stupidity: I was Right Special

1209 - A text message is received.
Joe: Let it never be said I don't accept that I'm wrong. I just read an article about something similar to the magnetic pigments in eyes you described to me and Josh.

1211 - I write a Facebook status
Me: Joe Hadden and Joshua Splodge Hilton. Let it be said that I was correct about the magnetic pigments in birds' eyes. Let it be known that Joe texted me this morning to confirm this. Let it be known that nananananana.
Joe: I knew you would do that lol.

There has yet been no response from Josh.

If there were anyone who could ever make you feel crap about yourself then it would be Josh. Thanks for ruining the one thing that made me in the slightest bit happy this morning in this shit bucket of an existence. I bet you're also the person who ticked last night's insanely depressing post as 'Hilarious'. I don't see what's funny about that. I was trying to reach out to tell you all how I'm feeling right now and you just laugh. Fuck you.

Contemplation

I don't mean to be a Sauerkraut but I am in an awful mood right now.

Oh, Google accepts the word Sauerkraut but not teleportation. That's just grand.

I seem to have fallen back on being happy and go-lucky. You can probably tell by my less-than-inventive blog posts that I'm lacking in the creativity department. I haven't come up with a single wise cracking anecdote in over a month. Writing Granite Moths is actually pushing my ability to be funny to its limits. It seems something has distracted me. It could tie in with the fact that I've been ill every morning for the past couple of weeks. God I hope that passes. I like breakfast too much.

And how long has it been since I've drawn anything in Paint? It's just ridiculous.

Whenever I'm out with my Real Family I'm happy and everything is just fine, but whenever I'm at home I feel lonely and miserable. I mean, that's the norm, but now I'm thinking and thinking has always been a bad thing in my book unless I'm actually trying to work something out. And at the moment, I'm definitely not trying to work something out.

So what is it?

You know what's ironic about that last sentence? I that I'm definitely not trying to work something out and then I proceeded to try and work something out.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck fuckfuckcufkcufcukfcufcycfyfuucufckufkc,. Fuck. Fuck fuckc fuckingfuckfuck.

No wonder I'm depressed. I just weighed myself. My BMI is now 19. Fuck fuck fuck. For all you viewers at home, that's not what I'm supposed to be. I should be 21, which would be just about right. Still underweight, but healthy. Right now I'm just underweight and need to stop panicking before I lose more weight and die. How can I lose an entire stone in a month? And that's without changing my diet and without adding extra exercise. What the fuck? Where has it gone?

I've also recently deleted like half of my friends on Facebook because I knew that I never wanted to see or hear from those people ever again, and now I won't. I've also been getting increasingly angry at how stupidly ridiculous all the things leading up to Uni are getting. "Oh hey, you know how you booked your accommodation three or four months ago? Yeah, you have to confirm it," "Oh, you know how we're just complete fucking arseholes who want to make you poor before you even arrive here? Yeah, you're going to give us £1200 before your student loan comes through," "Oh, hey, us again. You know how you sent us your student loan timetable so that we could rectify the rent payment dates? Well, guess what, you now have to pay us on the day you get your student loan! So we'll be taking money out of your account even though student loans has warned you that the payment might be late. Sorry," "Now that your accommodation is sorted, you have to do an E-Induction! It's where you give up many hours of your life to answer questions based around how to use a library, how to walk and of course how to use common fucking sense." GAH. Just get it all the fuck over with and let me move in peacefully.

I hope the fresh start I get at Uni is actually a fresh start rather than all of the other fresh starts that I get promised which turn out to just be more monotonous crap.

Josh just said, "She is a massive Porky-Teller" and now I need a pork pie. If there isn't one in the fridge then I guess a sausage roll will have to do. If we've run out of sausage rolls then I'm just going to have to kill and eat the people I'm forced to live with. I've had with them and their idiotic problems.

You know what's funny? My supposed father is paying more attention to me now more than ever because I'm moving out soon. Gotta love it.

Oh no, I'm not cool with that. Teleportation is a word Google, and 'gotta' certainly fucking isn't. Google. We're going to have to have a talk. If you pay me a handsome fee, less than whoever's writing your fucking language right now might I add but a fee nonetheless, then I will come over and rewrite your fucking English dictionary. And while I'm at it I'll fix the American dictionary and make it English. And then when I'm back in England I'm going to right up to Liberty Living and give them a huge kick in the groin and then fix them as well.

Fuck's sake.

I'll be happy again tomorrow, trust. I'll go for a big long walk, clear my head and on my way home maybe I'll catch a few of my kids coming home from school so that I can chat to them. I need to see them before I leave, I really do.

I'm not looking forward to meeting my flatmates at DMU. Mainly because I know that they'll be arseholes, but also because I don't need new friends. I have everyone I want and need right here. Why do we have to say goodbye? Goodbye sucks.

Josh's Manhunt Extravaganza

First off, Dukey was on time. That was an amazing experience to be a part of.

So everything started off with playing some good old fashioned Xbox. This isn't actually interesting at all. Nothing monumentally fun and blogworthy really happened before other people started arriving. When Becca arrived I gave up on the Xbox and went to go and chat to her. She arrived at the same time as Jed, which I found odd because I thought he arrived when it best suited him. You know, as in when no one else is around and he can perform his teleportation rituals in peace. Also, Google, 'teleportation' is a word. Don't tell me that I'm wrong when I'm not. Stupid machines. Anyway, the Xboxing continued for a while until everyone else arrived and the main event of the evening was under way.

I firstly conversed with Joe and Bekah to see if the video we had made a couple of nights before was okay, and they confirmed that. My laptop was then plugged into the TV using the hudumi cable and soon the grand showing of Granite Moths Part 1 happened. I'll show you the credits when my other videos have finished uploading to YouTube.

Anyway, after that was the grand unveiling of Granite Moths Part 2 Entries 27-35. That went down like a storm. I won't spoil anything on here because that mean writing out *Spoiler Alert* and I can't be bothered doing that twice.

Anyway, we then laid something on everyone that I don't think they were expecting. Joe, Bekah and I were very proud of this. I don't even think it needs words to describe it.

It's just... It's just... I don't think I can...

Needless to say everyone loved it. Everyone. I was expecting at least one person to be like, "that was just fucking stupid and the least funny thing in the world." But no one did, and that made it a success. A success for the most ridiculous idea in history, to say the least.

Anyway, after playing a game of Halo on the Xbox with Becca and after food time came the event that we were all waiting for. Manhunt.

For the first game I was given a high-vis jacket to make everything look all official and such. For about an hour we were searching around, looking for people. In fact, the first game was very tedious.

It was the second game that livened things up in the slightest bit. Becca, JP and I were hiding in a graveyard, and when that started to get searched by people we moved to a nearby tree. We were there for what seemed like many minutes, standing and sitting in the wet, dark environment. Westie and Josh's brother David then came to have a look at the tree.

David walked in and pointed at wear JP was sitting, and I swear his face was only an inch away from mine, so I gave him a big smile and he said, "That's where I was peeing... WHOA!" It took him at least thirty seconds to notice that I was very much right in front of him. What a laugh.

Anyway, apart from that the rest of the time we were just walking around looking for people, and it was all very uninteresting.

After Manhunt we started chatting into the night, some people went home while others of us watched a movie. I can't remember for the life of me what that movie was, but what the hell.

Anyway, the next morning we went over to Josh's mum's house after food, tidying and getting rid of people and we got to look at Josh's new toy.

Okay, I said toy but I meant pet. It is just a little fluff ball that you can play around with, and so that technically makes it a toy, doesn't it? It manages to climb up your leg with its claws like Spiderman, and so that makes it the coolest cat in the litter.

Sorry, Twiglet. Oh, Josh's new cat is called Gizmo. Look at him!

"No, get me out! Help meeee!"

I should be a pet photographer.

Firsts and Lasts

I've been planning this post for a short while now. I'd decided to do it after results day. I thought it'd be a pretty cool idea. Now that I'm done and done and done with school I thought it would be good to try and remember my first and last days of school. Obviously I can't remember anything about nursery and I'm obviously not going to remember everything like it happened yesterday, but just bear with me on this one.

First Day of BSide
Trying to remember any single particular day from my childhood is like trying to ride a stampeding bull in an elevator that is plummeting towards the ground due to mechanical failure. As many of you know I have almost completely deleted my non-existent childhood from my memory due to... mechanical failure? I'm sure I must have felt nervous. I'm also sure that I must have felt excited. Or I just took it like I do any other day and actually there's nothing more to tell. I only remember one scene from this day, and even that has been implanted with a false memory. Let me explain. I don't know where I was told this, but either in Germany or many years ago in this country the kids used to get a large paper cone full of sweets and stationary and all sorts to get the kids started and ready for school. The memory should be of me walking out of the door with my old all time best friend Ryan when his mum came to collect us, but instead that memory has been replaced with Ryan carrying this cone that's like twice the size of him due to his dwarfism. I don't know why that memory is there now instead of what it should be, but hey, who am I to complain? That's the only day of Reception that I actually remember.

Last Day of BSide
I remember this one a little bit better. Two days previous to this we had gone to Wicksteed's for the day because we could and it's what all leavers do. But on this day I remember waking up and being sick, but I had to go into school anyway because the entire family was going to school that day for the leaver's assembly. And I suppose I had to go to the leaver's assembly. Because I was a leaver. You know. By the time the leaver's assembly had come around, my illness cleared up and I was raring to go. I only remember what my short speech was like (I say my short speech like I made a speech, but I didn't. A speech was written for me and spoken by the headteacher) and that stuff that I wrote in those brackets happened. I don't remember what was said in the speech though, so don't get excited. Anyway, the rest of the day kind of just happened and I remember there being plenty of snacks to gorge on because I think I didn't eat my breakfast that morning and then blah blah blah rest of the day. At the end of the day I remember my teacher giving me a massive hug and then I went home. Exciting stuff.

First Day of BW
This is a day I remember even less than I do my last day of BSide. In fact I remember my induction to the school much, much clearer. Probably because I got separated from my group on that day and was wondering the school for a while with the help of some lovely upper year girls. But seriously, the only thing I remember on this particular day was getting the lockers sorted and making friends with the guys who would later become the largest dicks on the face of the planet. They also became chavs. You see, we're the generation who kind of came up with everyone. Before BW, as far as I'm aware, there wasn't this epidemic of chavs, goths and emos. There were only religious fanatics back then. Heck, even the atheists were staying out the limelight as one of the world's leading close-minded know-it-alls. Hah, what a world.

Last Day of BW
I've had like three of these and they are all on this blog. All of them. You can read them if you want. Seriously. I could describe my last day of year 11, but it wasn't even exciting. We got locked in the sports hall for being bad people. That's it really. In fact, let me find out exactly what I wrote. Oh. I don't actually have a Travis entry for the last day of Year 11. That kind of sucks.

Well what a waste of a blog post this has been. It's basically just me saying ... I HAVE MEMORY LOSS. Funny that for a person who's working on a spoof of Marble Hornets and one of the main themes of that particular ARG is memory loss. Still, stranger things have happened. Like when I was looking through Dukey's house that one time and this weirdo wearing a mask just jumped at me and tried to kill me but then he had a coughing fit and then I had a coughing fit and then he ran away.

*Blog Post Title*

Hmm...

Blog, blog, blog...

What can I blog about?

The last few days have been pretty interesting. You know what I didn't tell you? I didn't tell you how the night after results day was. Well, let me tell you.

Thursday
Hang on, why the hell did I agree to trying to remember stuff that happened on Thursday? That's just ridiculous. Oh well, it's the service I provide here at Cliché Life Stuff; half-arsed attempts at recalling events for your enjoyment.

So on Thursday after I went home and did nothing for hours while everyone else was at home undoubtedly telling all of their loved ones how well they did and what not. I'd already told my loved ones how I did, because I was at school with them. Anyway, later that evening we went to the pub to drink to our successes.

I completely forgot something.

At like three-ish, Bekah randomly came over so that we could have a chat and have some "Hutchy-Bekah time" and I must say it was jolly good. I do like it when unexpected things like that happen, and it's usually because Bekah is just coming back from somewhere and fancies a chat. Isn't that just nice? Hell if I remember what we talked about, but I recall her loving my bedroom because it was just jam-packed full of technology and is indeed very well suited to me. The only thing is needs now is a sound system and we're-a-go. I'll admit though that my room is definitely the most expensive room in the house. In total I must own about £2,000 worth of stuff in there. That's cool. Never thought about that before. Anyway, she was only supposed to stay for like half an hour for a quick chat, but we managed to drag it out into two hours. But she did spend a large portion of that time fussing over Walter, who remains the best and cutest dog in the entire world.

Anyway, later that evening we went to the pub to drink to our successes. It was the usual affair. We would buy drinks. We would drink drinks. Soon enough though pretty much all the guys buggered off and left the cool people to sit and chat while they played pool. It evened up the numbers a bit. So after we lost the pub quiz and last orders had been and gone, we embarked for Joe's house for the remainder of the night, which was cool. I crashed out a bit at this point, because the amount of alcohol I had drank and the way I had spaced it out had given me a headache, which was kind of annoying since the only thing that was happening was music being played. Eventually though the guys went off to "flatliners" which involves drinking a shot of tequila, which would've been bad, and doing something with sugar and lime, which would've also been bad. Becca and I then got some time to ourselves, which was nice. Just a chance to be calm and for Becca to find a spot on my belly that really freaks me out when it's touched. I didn't even know that it existed, but she found it, and didn't stop annoying me with it until we all went to bed.

Friday
The next morning everyone left pretty early, so it was just Joe, Becca and I. They had thankfully agreed to come shopping with me to buy my Dad a birthday present, which was nice of them since I had no idea what I was doing and just resorted to buying car polish. I also managed to bank a hell of a lot of money that I had gained for getting into Uni. Sometimes the people I'm forced to live with make me think that they're not the worst people in the world after all. But since they have lots of money that kind of makes them bad people anyway. Lots of money makes bad people, okay? I'm just finding new ways of making these people bad people, but they are bad people so it doesn't even matter. Later that evening I spent some more time with Bekah and we watched the Green Hornet. That was nice. I've spent a hell of a lot of time with Bekah.

Saturday
I don't even remember what I did. As far as I know I did absolutely nothing.

Sunday
We got to do some more Granite Moths filming today since Josh had just gotten back from his trip to Devon and we had all the time in the world to do stuff. It was a lot of fun doing stuff that I can't tell you about because it'd reveal too much about what we're doing for the epicness of Season 2 of Granite Moths. You're just going to have to keep your eyes on YouTube, aren't you? Oh, and guess what we did in the evening. Yeah, Joe and I went over to Bekah's house and watched Sherlock Holmes and did some Josh's party-related stuff that I won't mention on here because it'd reveal too much. Even so it was fucking hilarious.

Monday
So after all that I needed to go back into town and so did Joe so we went into town and we did our stuff and then Becca joined us so we went home and then took Walter for a walk and it was all kinds of fun.

It's been an amazing few days, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't stop there. I'm going out to play some football tomorrow and then in the evening Joe, Bekah and I will be meeting up again and then on Wednesday I haven't made any plans yet but Thursday and then Friday I'll be busy so I'm actually insanely happy right now. Yay :)

You guys are so the best people in the world, and with good reason.

Results Day

I woke up this morning at half past 7 so that I had ample time to get ready and make sure there were no problems for when I hit F5 to load the UCAS track system. Joe then told me that it had gone up early, but by this time everyone in the world knew that it had gone up early so there was no way in hell that I could get on. In fact, the UCAS system has been clogged up for the last four hours, so I'm probably not going to get on until later this afternoon. So yeah, I was annoyed that I couldn't get on. Joe came to collect me at whatever time past eight, we collected Becca who also didn't know what was going on and so we all blindly went to school not knowing what was going to happen.

I already knew that there had been many people who had successfully gotten into their places, and so I was really happy for them, and partially annoyed that they hadn't warned everyone that Track had gone up very early. When I was about to go in for my results a disgruntled Josh explained how he had not reached his first choice of Manchester and instead got into Liverpool. He was happy with Liverpool, but he had only missed Manchester by one grade.

But anyway, by now I was pretty nervous. I had gone out of my usual stride and was now worrying for my future. Mr Willimott told me to walk in and I was greeted by Trish Stringer, who sat me down and gave me my results. I immediately jumped down to Media, which was my main concern, and there it was in all its beauty. What a glorious moment is was to behold. Sitting there, being all proud, was a magnificent A. Boo-fuckin'-yeah. The other grades were an E in French which I dropped at AS anyway so it doesn't count, a B in my Extended Project, a C in DT and to my surprise I got a C in German as well. Everything I had done to earn these grades had paid off, because my first words were:
Me: "Well uh... this is good."
Trish: "Did you get what you wanted?"
Me: "Yeah, this is exactly what I needed."
Trish: "Well that's brilliant!"
Me: "No, yeah, this is great."
The rest of the conversation was a blur, I said "thank you very much" but apart from that I was just so happy that what was said has been jumbled in my head. My next task was to see Mr Witt, and I told him the same story, but then a shadow of doubt had been cast over my mind. You see, I needed 300 points to get into DMU, and I definitely had that, but they had also asked for two Bs, and I had an A and two Cs, so I got on the phone to DMU, got straight through to them (I was expecting to wait) and then I was put through to the admissions tutor at the technology department.
Me: "Yup, I'm just phoning to see if I got in."
Tutor: "Okay, so that's Peter Hutchinson... doing Media Production?"
Me: "That's the one."
Tutor: "Well I can confirm that you have indeed got in."
Me: "Ah that's great, thank you very much."
Tutor: "Oh well there's no need to thank me, I didn't do anything. But congratulations all the same."
Me: "Well thank you."
Tutor: "Well I guess we'll be seeing you in September."
Me: "Definitely. Thanks again, buhbye now."

I was happy.

So from that official point on, I had officially known that I was definitely studying Media Production at De Montford University in Leicester. Good show.

I went back down to see how everyone else had done, and I learned of everyone's successes and everything, but everyone was still rushing around. Becca and Joe went off to find their Biology teacher and I had a flick through the Yearbook. If I'm honest, I'm glad I didn't buy one. I then saw Lauren and we spoke of our successes, so that was nice as well. Uh... yeah, you can pretty much fill the rest in yourselves. I remember Harry being super happy though and giving me a massive hug. Becca then came back and told me that she had done better than she needed to do, and so was definitely going to Leicester. This was brilliant news, because we'll only be a short distance apart.

After everything had started dying down, Josh texted me to say that he had only missed his place at Manchester by one mark, and then I told him to get his ass back to school and even got Mr Tiktin on the phone to tell him why. I assume he's there right now trying to organise the remarking. I do hope that goes well for him.

Anyway, so that was that and we're all chuffed to bits.

PS. Just got written confirmation by finally being able to access track:
"The current status of your Application is:
Congratulations! Your place at De Montfort University (D26) to study Media Production (P310) has been confirmed."

My Computer Works!

I could've said that earlier, but I've spent the last day getting it up to speed again. And by god it's beautiful.

I'm not claiming responsibility for commenting on how good looking a machine is. It was all Outside Voice. No machine-erotica in this head, no sir. I'm absolutely, one hundred percent straight. For human... HUMAN, women. That's that. You could claim that Outside Voice and I are one and the same. But because I can and will refer to Outside Voice in the second and third person surely proves that we are two different entities living in the same body. 
So what you're saying is... Outside Voice and Inside Voice have multiple personality disorder. Where do I fit in?
You're a wrist. You fit somewhere between the forearm and the hand. 
Funny guy.
Uh... hey, audience. This is... awkward, to say the least.
Oh don't try and get out of this.
I'm not, I'm not at all.

*Nervous smile*

Anyway, for the past week or so I've been trying to stop Inside Voice from going insane by doing... everything I could.
It was just bad. Who knew that the mind relied a hell of a lot on a computer? I mean, yeah, it's where I express my thoughts into words and share them with the internet, but surely I could've just used a pen?
No can do. I'm on a break from writing.
I was suffering from not being able to be creative... I could barely breathe... 
So yeah, while I couldn't access the hard drive on my computer the only thing I could do was go on the internet. And trust me when I say this, without the ability to write Zero-G, edit one of my old terrible stories, rewrite one of my old terrible stories and edit together movies, the internet gets old very, very quickly.

Christ it feels good to be able to boot up Windows Live Movie Maker again, even if it is the most basic of video editors.

So, yesterday I got myself a brand new 500gb hard drive, took it to Dukey's Dad who supplied me with Windows 7 Ultimate and did his very best to recover my old hard drive. It was in vain. But he did try. And for his efforts, he gave me a bunch of 720p movies. I guess he likes his work.

And for God's sake, Google dictionary, movie is a fricking word! And do you know what isn't? FACEBOOK! Turn it around, please. I get very angry at this stuff.

Anyway, what else? Granite Moths is officially underway again, now that I can edit once more. The first few entries will be live soon. I won't say when, because I haven't decided yet. But essentially, they're not going live until I'm absolutely once hundred percent certain that we're going to do a damn good job of part 2 before we go off to Uni.

OH FUCK.

It's results day on Thursday. Well isn't that a kick in the groin? I'm going to take it in my stride though. You know, like I do everything else. The worst, I figure, that can happen is that I get into my second choice at the same university which is only a slightly different course anyway, so I think I'll be happy no matter what happens. Everyone seems to be worried about it though, and that's understandable. That's a small sheef of paper that decides what you for your immediate future. One day it'll seem pointless, but until that time it's going to be a bumpy ride. Or not. But I do wish you all the best of luck for Thursday, and I do hope with all of my heart and all of my... brain that you do brilliantly.

Pete out.

You see, that was funny because it sounded like peace out. Hah. Funny.

Why?!

Why have 39 people from Germany and 22 people from America visited my site today, completely smashing my number of visits in any one day by a fucking lot?!

I just don't understand it.

I just casually visited my stats page and boom, 65 views today. I tried to find out why. 2 visits were accounted for by google images, as always just people looking for pictures of Masky. But that's two out of 65 accounted for. I took a look at the audience page to find out where these people came from. The Germans, for some strange reason, all decided to look at my blog at the same time after my post that included the words "donkey", "women" and "sex".

I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

I'm still on high alert though that my blog has become a one-stop shop for people who love bestiality.

I'm Worried

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Cornwall - The Best Week of My Life

I'm not lying. It was fucking great.

So, where to begin? I suppose the beginning would be a good place to begin. Wouldn't you agree?

It all began on the Sunday of the 31st of July, which would explain the lack of blog post since then. I do apologise for that, by the way, I left you far too few posts in July. Anyway, I dragged my huge bag over to Joe's house so that we could load the car and wait for Dukey to be late in his latemobile. There was a look of excitement on everyone's faces as the time for departure slowly drew near. Finally everyone arrived and the party departed. The music was cranked up in the "Wacky Racers" (as Joe dubbed it) and we were on our way.

To Cornwall!
Balalalalananuuuhh

Harry, who figured himself the navigator of the trip, nearly got us lost on the first turning, which was funny. But nonetheless we soon got to the long and boring stretches of motorway. It was also Harry's job to direct us to Sedgemoore services, where the "Batmobile" (as Joe dubbed it uhum, sorry no, as Becca dubbed it) would be meeting up with us for lunch. He did not manage to do this. In fact, it was Bekah and I who noticed that Sedgemoore was actually behind us when it was time to park up. Ahahahahaha. Anyway, we parked up at the next one and had a small lunch before we got back on the road again. With me in the navigator's position there was no hope of us getting lost and ending up in a ditch.

Uh... [pictures]

Good.

When we finally arrived in the little town of Feock I did actually manage to accidentally take us the correct way. See, there's a junction here, and the Satnav is a machine that wants to take us the correct route, and in this particular circumstance that would take us to a one way street and no way back. So I got my brain in gear and told Dukey to go the exact opposite way to which the satnav had said because it was confusing me. This turned out to be correct. Go me.

The place we were staying at belongs to Joe's grandparents and by god it's amazing. It's at least seventy two times better than my house. Although I must state that most of that is due to the fact that it was My Real Family living here for the week more than the awesomeness of the bungalow.

Dinner was interesting.

Yeah, I know.

Monday
Today we went down to Hollywell beach for some fun in the Sun. It was just great. And these pictures should help indicate why.

So, as you can see it was a day packed full of stuff. While the guys were swimming, Bekah and I went caving and then after that, Becca taught me how to make a sand person. This is one part of my childhood that I missed, and I thank her for that.

Tuesday
Today we went to... uh... I can't remember. But these pictures should help.

So, as you can see today was all about climbing rocks and chucking balls around. Joe also introduced to a strange ice-cream called the "Hedgehog", which is delicious. It's like a regular ice-cream, but with nuts and stuff on it, and it's delicious.


Wednesday
Perranporth happened today, which is a beach that I remember from my former childhood. It hasn't changed at all.

More sand-sculptures today, and by god was it a lot of fun.

Thursday
Today was pretty much just a day for relaxing. Dukey, Harry and Bekah pointlessly went into Truro to get their hair cut while Joe, Becca and I sat back at the house to do stuff. Firstly, Becca and I finished filming what needed to be done of Granite Moths, which was a helluvalodda fun, and then the three of us went for a little walk and Joe reminisced about things he had done in the area as a child. When we went back to the house we played catch for what seemed to be ages. When the other three came back from their pointless trip we all went down to Loe Beach so that some people could swim and the sensible of us could have tea and cake. Good show.

Friday
We went home. I'm sad now.

As you can probably tell this first draft isn't the most informative or conclusive of posts, but trust me when I say this when I get my hard drive fixed and therefore can upload pictures and therefore update this post with a multitude of awesome you will be under the full impression that this was the best week of my life ever. Trust. But right now I have to actually buy my new hard drive, so posting may not resume again for a short while, but when it does by god are you in for a treat or eight.

Fuck it, here's a tribute to those who went:

Joe
Thank you thank you thank you thank you. You made this best week of my life possible by having grandparents that own a huge bungalow in Cornwall. You're a wonderful bloke and you made my new and refreshed childhood a reality. You will forever and always be a father figure to me and I'm sure your life lessons haven't and won't stop for years to come. You're just great.

Becca
While Joe made my childhood a reality you pushed me to have one in the most amazing way. Because I had to bring myself up I'd never built anything out of sand before apart from the odd upturned bucket, but you helped me build sand people and animals, and they were amazing. I actually learned things from you that everyone learned as a child, and for that I can't thank you enough. And on top of that you were always a right laugh. You already know how much you mean to me, and this just takes all that into the next level.

Bekah
Always fun and hilarious, Bekah. We explored caves, had interesting chats and made sure that I always had something to do, even when everyone else wanted to go into the sea. You are an... interesting addition to the team, but also completely irreplaceable.

Harry
We spend most of the trip calling you a dick, but it's all in good fun. You're just a cool dude, really. The 'lad' of the team. I'm glad you came along, even if it did mean we had to put Bekah in the boot for a journey because there was no room in the car.

Dukey
You drove us everywhere and woke me up several times by rhythmically shaking the bed. I hate you.

Hey, take a look, there are pictures in this post now. If you missed them; screw you. Anyway, this holiday enabled me to be who I had never ever ever been before - a kid. I have been the same age as other kids, but I never really had a childhood. Everyone talks about all the things they and their family used to do as they were kids and now, as an eighteen year old, I finally get to do those things. Yay :)

Thanks for the best week of my life, guys. I love you.