Wait.
I can still do 0000.
Okay, I have two things to show you in one nice, handy little picture.
Yup, that proves that this post was indeed posted at exactly 00:00 and also that my blog views for this month broke all previous records! Whoo!
I've just taken a look at why that is, and most of it is Marble Hornets related, but a bunch of people got to me through crazychucks.com, which is a science website. Fuck yeah. Me and science are like that. That may have been a more effective sentence if you'd seen the action I was doing, but you can guess.
Anyway, that's not what this blog post is all about. I mean it's a part of it, yeah, but it's not the whole thing.
Today, aprés Cornwall, was actually the first day in which I would finally kick-start my childhood. Yay!
Unfortunately this is still a placeholder post because I'm very tired and it's now 00:26. You're right, it didn't take me twenty five+ minutes to do all of this, but that's because I was looking through my blog pictures and reminding myself of how awesome I am. I'm fucking awesome.
So yeah, anyway, we totally went to Rockingham Castle today and it was totally awesome. I was well excited to become a kid again, which you can probably tell by the dramatic change in my tone from horrendously posh to well wicked, mate. Hah, I say "kid again" but really what it is is "kid finally" so that's how it is, really.
Rockingham Castle is kind of cool though, with loads of cool things in it as you'd expect a castle to have.
So yeah, it's got outside castle stuff and inside castle stuff and loads of olde time stuff. Like for example this olde time archway that provides entrance to the castle:
However, outside this entrance was an olde time sign that confused me.
Read it closely. It says "the following are not permitted in the Castle :- the use of any camera, video, still or digital unattended children." I'd like to firstly ask the people of Rockingham (because obviously this doesn't happen in other towns and villages), how exactly do you use an unattended child, whether it be digital or not? If you have the ability to use an unattended child, then you have an unattended child and therefore the child is no longer unattended. Idiots.
Anyway, there's like fifty interesting photos, so if you have me on Facebook then for the love of god just look there for all of my "olde time" jokes rather than whimpering like a small, digital, unattended child around me for not producing the exact same jokes here.
There's a massive moth in my room. If I hadn't developed a compassion for anything that can produce an amount of blood that can stain and potentially make my hand bloody then it would so be dead right now. It's not even one of those cool moths that you call Geoff and it hangs out on the bus with you in its own little hidey hole that it developed because no one actually cleans any of the buses we had for school.
I have a massive blonde hair on my arse as well. It was stuck to my rape protection device. Guess it worked.
Hmm, it feels like a while since I've posted anything random like this that you're inevitably going to like and love and find hilarious. I don't think I've actually done one in the entirety of August, and yet it is still my most popular month yet. Must be all of my science know-how getting me extra points.
Anyway, I was telling a story, wasn't I? Yeah, I'm not going to bother putting all of the pictures on here, because they're on Facebook and I know it's kind of an old philosophy of mine to just tell you to look at my pictures on Facebook despite the fact that a large percentage of my audience (I'm thinking everyone from Germany and America) don't actually have me on Facebook and therefore can't see these images, but they do say that you're not allowed to take pictures inside Rockingham Castle out of "fairness to future visitors." If I write *spoiler alert* before each picture then I can post them, right?
*Spoiler alert*
Hah! You thought it was something exciting, didn't you? Well no! It's just the sign for the wild garden. I'd wild her garden. Oh shut up. That doesn't even make sense. Okay, how about... I'd tame her wild garden? Just stop. You're embarrassing me. Nothing you didn't already do by yourself. You're so pathetic.
Oh, and if you missed the picture because you didn't want to be spoiled and read the paragraph afterwards which then told what you was in the picture and in turn that spoiled you, I'm sorry. Blame someone who isn't me. Or me.
Anyway, if you desperately wish to see what the rest of Rockingham Castle is like then why don't you visit? It only costs £9 for an adult and kids don't go free! I should so advertise for Rockingham Castle. Let's face it, no one outside of the Rockingham Forest area knows of its existence. In fact, the people who live there probably occasionally think, "What? This is a tourist attraction? No it isn't. Look, that's Jim from down the road. And there's Mary. The people we know and meet everyday just come here to keep us fed. Tourists don't come here. Oh hey, I don't know those four youths! Hey! Youths! Why are you here? Where did you come from?!"
The four youths were us, by the way. I didn't even tell you who I went with. What a despicable person I am. Well, there was Dukey who drove, Harry who talks about football a lot and then there's Bekah whose personal mission it is to discover all of the things that were missing from my childhood and is going to replace them.
0.0 I was never taught how to ride a bike! I mean, yeah, I taught myself because that's just what I did, but it's the principle. Joe, mission.
I'm eating a sausage roll.
Okay, I have two things to show you in one nice, handy little picture.
Mission complete.
Yup, that proves that this post was indeed posted at exactly 00:00 and also that my blog views for this month broke all previous records! Whoo!
I've just taken a look at why that is, and most of it is Marble Hornets related, but a bunch of people got to me through crazychucks.com, which is a science website. Fuck yeah. Me and science are like that. That may have been a more effective sentence if you'd seen the action I was doing, but you can guess.
Anyway, that's not what this blog post is all about. I mean it's a part of it, yeah, but it's not the whole thing.
Today, aprés Cornwall, was actually the first day in which I would finally kick-start my childhood. Yay!
Unfortunately this is still a placeholder post because I'm very tired and it's now 00:26. You're right, it didn't take me twenty five+ minutes to do all of this, but that's because I was looking through my blog pictures and reminding myself of how awesome I am. I'm fucking awesome.
So yeah, anyway, we totally went to Rockingham Castle today and it was totally awesome. I was well excited to become a kid again, which you can probably tell by the dramatic change in my tone from horrendously posh to well wicked, mate. Hah, I say "kid again" but really what it is is "kid finally" so that's how it is, really.
Rockingham Castle is kind of cool though, with loads of cool things in it as you'd expect a castle to have.
So yeah, it's got outside castle stuff and inside castle stuff and loads of olde time stuff. Like for example this olde time archway that provides entrance to the castle:
It's even got an olde time gate.
However, outside this entrance was an olde time sign that confused me.
Damn those digital unattended children.
Read it closely. It says "the following are not permitted in the Castle :- the use of any camera, video, still or digital unattended children." I'd like to firstly ask the people of Rockingham (because obviously this doesn't happen in other towns and villages), how exactly do you use an unattended child, whether it be digital or not? If you have the ability to use an unattended child, then you have an unattended child and therefore the child is no longer unattended. Idiots.
Anyway, there's like fifty interesting photos, so if you have me on Facebook then for the love of god just look there for all of my "olde time" jokes rather than whimpering like a small, digital, unattended child around me for not producing the exact same jokes here.
There's a massive moth in my room. If I hadn't developed a compassion for anything that can produce an amount of blood that can stain and potentially make my hand bloody then it would so be dead right now. It's not even one of those cool moths that you call Geoff and it hangs out on the bus with you in its own little hidey hole that it developed because no one actually cleans any of the buses we had for school.
I have a massive blonde hair on my arse as well. It was stuck to my rape protection device. Guess it worked.
Hmm, it feels like a while since I've posted anything random like this that you're inevitably going to like and love and find hilarious. I don't think I've actually done one in the entirety of August, and yet it is still my most popular month yet. Must be all of my science know-how getting me extra points.
Anyway, I was telling a story, wasn't I? Yeah, I'm not going to bother putting all of the pictures on here, because they're on Facebook and I know it's kind of an old philosophy of mine to just tell you to look at my pictures on Facebook despite the fact that a large percentage of my audience (I'm thinking everyone from Germany and America) don't actually have me on Facebook and therefore can't see these images, but they do say that you're not allowed to take pictures inside Rockingham Castle out of "fairness to future visitors." If I write *spoiler alert* before each picture then I can post them, right?
*Spoiler alert*
Hah! You thought it was something exciting, didn't you? Well no! It's just the sign for the wild garden. I'd wild her garden. Oh shut up. That doesn't even make sense. Okay, how about... I'd tame her wild garden? Just stop. You're embarrassing me. Nothing you didn't already do by yourself. You're so pathetic.
Oh, and if you missed the picture because you didn't want to be spoiled and read the paragraph afterwards which then told what you was in the picture and in turn that spoiled you, I'm sorry. Blame someone who isn't me. Or me.
Anyway, if you desperately wish to see what the rest of Rockingham Castle is like then why don't you visit? It only costs £9 for an adult and kids don't go free! I should so advertise for Rockingham Castle. Let's face it, no one outside of the Rockingham Forest area knows of its existence. In fact, the people who live there probably occasionally think, "What? This is a tourist attraction? No it isn't. Look, that's Jim from down the road. And there's Mary. The people we know and meet everyday just come here to keep us fed. Tourists don't come here. Oh hey, I don't know those four youths! Hey! Youths! Why are you here? Where did you come from?!"
The four youths were us, by the way. I didn't even tell you who I went with. What a despicable person I am. Well, there was Dukey who drove, Harry who talks about football a lot and then there's Bekah whose personal mission it is to discover all of the things that were missing from my childhood and is going to replace them.
0.0 I was never taught how to ride a bike! I mean, yeah, I taught myself because that's just what I did, but it's the principle. Joe, mission.
I'm eating a sausage roll.
That last sentence was totals a euphemism. ;)
ReplyDelete