Monday 26 July 2010

The Curse of the Dormant Mind

I've put off posting this until now, but hey, I haven't got anything else to talk about today, so I thought I'd give it a go.
Alas, faithful readers, this isn't the usual bout of comical comedy and witty wit that you've come oh-so used to over this year, but I feel like this needs to be gotten off my chest, just so there's a little understanding.

I draw your attention to an example, to help explain what I'm about to talk about.
It was a Friday night, more specifically it was known as "Freedom Friday" and there is a "My Day" blog detailing that specific day. It was a hell of a lot of fun. But of course, it was an all-nighter, and we've all lost our ability to stay up all freaking night, so at around 2 people started to nod off.

>>Open Terrible Thoughts file 01<<
Most nights I am kept awake by thoughts. These thoughts are terrible thoughts, and before I became the super happy, can-do person I am today, these thoughts used to plague my day, so now they keep me up at night instead, just so God can keep his balance. I won't detail exactly what these thoughts are, because that would be a waste of time, and you should all know exactly what these thoughts are anyway, since I used to complain about them a lot. Unless of course you're new, or don't know me brilliantly, in which case just go ahead and ask someone like Becca or Lauren, because they'll tell you in great detail probably.
>>/Close Terrible Thoughts file 01<<

So yeah, going back to the example, because I find it difficult to get comfortable outside a bed, this impedes my progression into sleep and the thoughts magnify because I have more time in which to think. This happens pretty much on every all-nighter I go on. A few of you might have noticed me sitting up for long periods of time, or going out of the room for long periods of time, if you weren't asleep.

Let's just all be thankful that these days, these thoughts make me cry instead of punch shit up.
Punching shit up was only going to land me in a heap of trouble.

Anyway, that was depressing, god, better lighten the mood.
How many hippos does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, the more hippos you put in the room, the less likely you are to get the light bulb changed, because hippos don't have opposable thumbs, and would fill up most of the room anyway.
Oh, sorry, were you under the impression that was some kind of a joke?
Again, very sorry.
On the plus side, tomorrow is shaping to be not-a-bad day, so that'll bring the jokes right back into the blog.
I may sound a little cocky with the jokes thing, but did you read my nutshell joke? That was hilarious!
I'm going to pull a few more of those out pretty soon.

Anyway, thank you once again for wanting to know a little bit more about the inner workings of my mind.
Yeah, I know you didn't ask.
No, I don't think this was a total waste of time.
Oh yeah, that's right, walk away.
Oh now you're coming back for some more, eh?
Okay, I'll admit, that hurt.
No, seriously, stop now.
I mean it, I'll call the police.
Okay, fine! I won't call the police.
Just-
Ouch-
Please-
Okay, I'm going!

Night, y'all

Sunday 25 July 2010

Camp Brooke Weston

AKA, Berlin 2010
Where do I start?
From the beginning of course

Day 1 - Fucking EasyJet
After an enjoyable bus journey we got to Luton and waited around for like 5 hours before the crew of the plane got off right in front of us and the announcement basically said "Crew fucked off, your flight is cancelled". So we waited around for like another 3 hours before we finally decided to organise transport to the hotel that EasyJet booked out for us to get like 3 hours of sleep. During this waiting time we set up Camp Brooke Weston, which was of course deadly fun, and also did laps of the airport, in true fashion.

Day 2 - Progress
At 4 in the morning we stood in another fucking queue for a flight that guess what, didn't go to Berlin. Saving the upcoming details we flew to Dortmund, about 300 miles away from Berlin. Now, I've always been like "I've never actually experienced EasyJet ripping me off and sending me to somewhere that isn't my destination" but it looks like they held true to their word. So, we arrived in Dortmund and booked a train to Berlin. Two amusing trips, several more Camp Brooke Westons later and we were in Berlin. Firstly we were greeted with the Hauptbahnhof, which is simply epic, both in size and in awesomeness. Check out my Facebook in a small amount of time to view this awesomeness. Then a wild Janina appeared, *Pokémon battle music ensues*, and then we wandered the streets of Berlin for a while, managing to find a Pregnant Oyster and the hunting grounds-turned into a park. Then we went to the Alexanderplatz, which has a nice view of the epic Fernsehturm, and the Weltzeituhr (the world clock). Then we met up with the families. They seemed all right. Then I and Josh noticed that our host wasn't there. We were taken back to our building by Dukey and Joe's host, who seemed perfectly nice with a sense of humour. Then we met our host. I was extremely disappointed. When I read "family Kohlberg" on the sheet, I was thinking young family with a hot daughter of whom I could fornicate with, but no, they gave us a retired couple who stick to the rules and don't like conversation. Yippee. After dinner and shower, we were basically told to get some sleep, and while yes, we were tired, I wasn't so tired that I wanted to go to sleep at 7. I was annoyed.

Day 3 - Let's restore some order
After breakfast we met the others in our building downstairs at a perfectly reasonable, but freaking early, time of 07:45, and then we got the bus straight to Oranienburger Tor. After grabbing some drinks from the local corner shop, we waited outside the school to be told by Herr Nicholls that we were, in fact, half an hour early. He then showed us a newspaper clipping, detailing the cancellation of EasyJet flights. Yeah, fuck you, EasyJet, our plight ended up in the paper. We then met Sven, who is a little fruity, and we did 3 hours of German, which was incredibly exhausting. After this we met up with Herr Nicholls and Janina, and then he said "Okay, we'll meet you at the DDR museum in a couple of hours," and off we went, into the city to do stuff. I, Josh, Joe and Dukey found a wild Janina, and we headed towards the DDR museum, and along the way we found an Amplemann restaurant, and the image of that restaurant amazed us. In front of it was an ice-cream stand, and it had an Amplemann surfer on it! And next to it were sunbeds with Amplemann covers on them! We then got some kebabs, which were delicious, and went into one of the many shopping centres, I believe this one was the Kudam, and in it was the first Amplemann shop, which we decided to buy little to nothing from, since it was bloody expensive. We then went to the DDR museum, and learned all about East Germany, and how the Berlin was laid out, and lots more interesting things. After the DDR museum we had circle time to discuss how the rest of the week should look. We then made the decision to not return to our families for the evening meal, and when Herr Nicholls went off to phone our hosts, we devised a plan to make Herr Nicholls an Amplemann tie, seeing as he had been talking to us about how for five years he has been looking for one. The tie would be paid for using Germany's efficient bottle disposal system, called Pfand, in which you get given money back on your bottle purchase if you return the bottle. And thus it was so. After more exploring we went on a boat trip, which was simply fantastic. Three hours of Eis, messing around and taking ridiculous photos of one-another. Ahhh. We then returned to our host families at like half ten and showered and slept.

Day 4 - Lots of Sun
So we started the day at the Brandenburg Gate, and then we found the balcony from which Michael Jackson dangled his baby, and then we had a photo-session, and then we walked to the Reichstag, which had a three hour queue, so we back-tracked to the Brandenburg Gate to do other stuff. We walked to the British Embassy, which was naturally super awesome, but we couldn't go in. We then made our way round to the holocaust museum, which was the most depressing and upsetting place I've ever been to. Several of us broke down into tears. Even the super racism of Dukey and Josh was suppressed. After the museum was the memorial, again very peaceful, despite Dukey's want to mess around and immediately cheer up. The designer was frequently asked "what does it mean?" "it means whatever you want it to mean" and I have discovered its meaning. It's laid out in a grid, which represents the organisation in which the holocaust happened. They were grouped, put into lines, always had to be evenly spaced etc. The blocks were of different sizes, meaning that it doesn't matter who you were, if you were a Jew, you were going to be put into a death camp. The smaller blocks could, of course, represent children, and people often sit on the smaller blocks. What else is there to say about that? We then returned to the flat for a Spaghetti dinner, which was delicious, and then we went on our first Pfand run. We made more than 6 Euros, purely from bottles. Each bottle gives about 15-25 cents, to put things in perspective. We then went to the Potsdamerplatz, where there was a fountain, and of course everyone had to mess around in the fountain. I decided not to, and then Caitlin and Tom appeared, and Tom went in the fountain, so I got to chat to Caitlin, who is super hot. After everyone arrived, a few people decided to watch Shrek 3, which I thought would be a complete waste of time, so I went shopping instead with everyone else. Yes, beneath the Potsdamerplatz is a shopping complex, about the same size as three Newlands, which is small for a shopping centre in Berlin. We found another Amplemann shop, and this time decided to shop there. At nine we returned to Herr und Frau Nicholls, and then sat down for a few drinks with them. At 2145 he told us to go home, but Josh had not returned from the film, so I had to wait. Then, a wild Josh appeared *Pokémon battle music* and we ran to the train we needed to catch. For the first time in the trip he took us the wrong way, and it was my awesomeness that led us to the correct train, where the rest of Camp Brooke Weston were, with one minute to spare. We got home at 2245 and showered and slept.

Day 5 : Janina in a Cage
After an amusing day at school we went to the Berlin Wall museum, which was the worst laid out place in the world. The English translations were terrible. But it told a gazillion different escape stories, all of which were amazing. One story was of a woman who escaped in two suitcases, her husband stowed her in the boot of his car and off they went. Other stories of home-made helicopters, planes and balloons were particularly amazing. One that I thought didn't get enough credit though, was the story of two men who built two plane-like vehicles in West Berlin, flew over to the East twice to rescue their friends. During every flight they got shot at. Now that just screams "you've got balls". Oh, before this bit, however, we locked Janina in a cage for funsies, because we're awesome people. After that we went to the Gedaechniskirche, which comprises of the old tower that only just survived the flattening of Berlin in WWII, and next to it a new church which is blue inside, and is very nice to sit in and just be there. Dukey and Josh managed to not catch fire either, god just must have been happy to see me. Then we went to the KaDeWe, which is basically Harrods on steroids. 7 floors of expensive stuff. Jesus Christ. After that we went to the very first train U-Bahnhof built in Berlin. My god it's old. We used the very same escalators that were used in the 1800s. We made our way to our next meeting point near the Coffin Shop we were going to eat in. We sang "Why are we waiting" when Herr Nicholls turned up later, and we were amused. We got to the restaurant and did the usual restaurant stuff. Herr Nicholls told us stories, Tom ate everyone's dinner, and we had a general laugh.

Day 6 : A Barbecue to Remember
Did school as normal, but this time Maire had a panic attack and went to hospital. After that we had two hours before we had to meet Herr Nicholls, so we got his tie from the shirt printing shop and then the girls went off somewhere, so we decided to go off somewhere too. That somewhere ended up being a gypsy market with loads of cool artwork. We then went to the Staasi museum, where this huuuuuuge guy told us all about the Staasi and the various things they did to people, as well as the lengths they went to to find people who even doubted the stability of the DDR. Here's something interesting, the German Democratic Republic was not a republic, nor was it a democracy (it was communist) and it was barely even German (it was Russian). We then went to the Barbecue von Janina, which was damn awesome. We popped some beers together, in the traditional fashion, and then tucked in to some Wurst, chicken and steak. Delicious. We then had our final stroll back to the flats and went to bed.

Day 7 : The End of all Things Deutsch
We got up at the ridiculous time of 6, and met up with the entirety of Camp Brooke Weston under the Weltzeituhr before getting on the train to the Shoenefeld Flughafen. The journey there was amusing, and upon arrival we got through check-in in about five minutes. Everything was going incredibly smoothly. It continued to go incredibly smoothly in fact. The only thing that went wrong was Dukey losing his ticket and having to get another one printed off. He is a complete tit. After that we were in England to have an amusing bus trip home. Then we were home.

So yes, quite an adventure we had.
Definitely the best week out of England I've ever ever had, and I'll make sure I return.
Until next time, readers

Friday 16 July 2010

Freedom Friday

Sense of nostalgia, no?

First Lesson - Free
Well, it was technically DT, but I didn't do DT, so I'm now calling it a free. This lesson I was trying to make my script for my media trailer longer, but soon a load of my year eights arrived in DT, so I and Mr Barrett decided to get as many as them as we could in the office and shut them in. I took a picture of the result. That was amusing. I'll stick it up with the Snakes Alive project on Facebook some time, probably when I've posted this.

Second Lesson - Free
Again, Josh decided to play that monkey game, but I swear I did something else this lesson too... I can't for the life of me remember what that was, but still, it was amusing.

Third Lesson - Free
See where this is going? I joined the guys while they finished their Physics work, and decided to do Dukey's for him, since he was doing such a pants job of it. Although I did turn it into an experiment about finding me, the Messiah. Joe found it hilarious, therefore it was successful.

Fourth Lesson - Monopoly
Okay, yeah, I actually did a lesson today. German Monopoly is always fun. I have a picture or two from that as well, and they'll probably go up on Facebook too.
I and Josh had our official second wedding, because he naturally had all the property and I had all the money, and naturally I think we won. Just.

Fifth Lesson - Free
Everybody seemed to be doing exams or something this lesson, so I ended up in Bottom Red to try and do some work. Of course, after about three minutes I wandered off, and found the DT teachers looking at the snakes, so I took the courtesy of taking a ganders as well, and then help them tidy up once their judging was finished. Doesn't look like my guys won, but I know one group of them came a very very extremely close second, which they'll probably be happy with. I'm not surprised at all by the winner; the head was so elaborate. Anyway, after this I took a walk and then ended back in bottom red, where a couple of my year eights were, so I talked to them for a while as I attempted to do some work, and then Becca and Joe came out, and then Maja told me that my report was in the Media Suite, then I couldn't find it, then I went back to Becca and Joe, and then we walked off, and then Gemma ran up to me with my report, and then we waited at the doors of freedom, and then they opened, and then I got on the bus and threw one of my year sevens out of my designated back middle seat, and then the bus moved, and then Becca and Aimee waved at me from their bus, and then the bus arrived at the stop, and then I got off and walked home, and then I started writing this blog after turning my laptop on and having a shave.
That was a long sentence.

So, that was the last day of term, but not the last day of year 12; still got two weeks of that at the start of next term.
Anyway, it's been a fantastic run, starting low and gradually getting better and better up until this point.
And now I have to go four weeks without my kids. Hmm. That's annoying.
"What about your friends?"
Please, I'll practically be living with you guys.
*Holds up glass*
So here's to all the good times. And to many more.
I'll catch up with you after Berlin.
So until that time, I'll bid you all goodbye and good luck trying to live without me.

Thursday 15 July 2010

Only One Day Left Thursday

Yes, that's right! Woo! And then I'm off to Berlin for the week. Woo!

First Lesson - DT
I managed to go the entire lesson, somehow, without making a single change to my work. I found this out when I closed it, since it didn't ask me to save it. But this time, RichChief or Media weren't the distractions, it was Mrs Quinreynolds. She got in an epic conversation with Josh, and it was so interesting I decided to listen in. I've also figured out that I've got the whole holiday to do this minute amount of work. That's pretty damn awesome, if I say so myself.

Second Lesson - Free
The long and short of it is that Becca ended up reading us some hilarious things from her new book about guys. It's brilliant; I'll have to read it after her. That is as soon as I've finished my two books.

Third Lesson - Free
Super Monkey!!!! Yeah, Josh Quach played Monkey Tower Defence, and at first I was like "is this going to get interesting?" but ten minutes later it did get interesting. Somehow. Basically, he got a thing called Super Monkey, which fires laser beams at the balloons. It looked super cool. We also coined the phrase "Kevin moment", the male version of "Aimee/blonde moment" in homage to Zero-G. I also got to show off my awesome comic about Pokémon in Halo this lesson. It's a damn awesome comic.

Fourth Lesson - Media
The rounding off of the planning and research is almost finished, with only a few minor details to make. I can't for the life of me think what those things are, oh wait, just the flat plans for all the website pages. Aw, that sucks. I want to make the website and the posters, but I suppose I should wait until the appropriate time, or I'll be left with nothing to do in DT. Hah, see what I did there?

Fifth Lesson - Snakes Alive
Mr Nicholls allowed me to go and have my final send-off for the year eights and their epic project. He said something about something new and interesting happening in the lesson, but unfortunately the presentations lasted all lesson, so I didn't have a chance to see it. I'll catch up with that later.
Anyway, yes, the final final lesson I have with the year eights. It's quite a sombre moment... oh wait, they don't become year nines until September. That gives me a whole two extra lessons with them. Woo!
Okay, I am actually feeling pretty gutted right now. The official run is over now. I might not actually have the chance to teach them again. My god, that'd be horrible. I do really hope I can teach them next year. They've brought so much joy to the last year. Mixed things up a little. Instead of being in the seat, I was the one in front of the class, addressing them as a group, and as individuals. Telling them what to do, having that sort of power. It's awesome. I remember telling Courtney this after she had told me that she wouldn't like to do it. Set her straight. I was actually described, by her, as the Robin to her Batman, which I wasn't having at all. If I'm not Batman, I'm Alfred. Alfred is cool. And British. In fact, that makes sense. Alfred is the mentor. I'm the mentor. Although none of them are Batman. That's a line she crossed there.
Anyway, the winning group hasn't been revealed yet, but I pretty much know which group has won. It was fairly obvious.
Firstly they presented their snakes with some sort of PowerPoint presentation, and those PowerPoint presentations were rubbish. However, they also made websites which weren't half bad. Not half good either, mind. Hey, I'm just being critical. Their fault for putting all the idiots who do nothing at the computers for several weeks. Then they put their snakes in DT for all to see, perhaps you'll catch a glimpse of them yourselves, and one of them fell apart XD. I've got some images from the event too, which I'll put up on Facebook probably.

Anyway, what an amazing day today was.
I haven't really got any other comments to make on the matters.
So I'll just sign off here.
Bye!

Wednesday 14 July 2010

Wonderful Wednesday

Yes, it was indeed pretty damn good.
I'm all happy and cheerful and all that.
Let's just get to it, eh?

First Lesson - Free
Ah, wonderful Wednesday frees, I do so love them. Aside from the general tomfoolery, I helped Becca translate some incredibly difficult French from her book.
Also today was my piano teacher's last day, and therefore quite possibly my last ever piano lesson. I decided to try and round of Finish the Fight some more, and it's going well. As for Mrs Holmes, well, it was evident that Duguid would get the better of her some day. Well done you ignorant, big-floppy-donkey-dick-sucking, idiotic piece of shit from hell. Well fucking done.

Second Lesson - German
I have now seen Goodbye Lenin three times. Unfortunately, there's not much else I can say about this lesson.

Third Lesson - Free
Yeah, I decided to take some time out for myself, so that I didn't have to bother going to French. I joined Joe and Dukey in Physics and then we headed off to the library, where we met up with Bekah, Becca and Natalie. Becca showed me how to turn people into zombies on Photoshop, and my god she's amazing it. Other than that I actually did some work. It was for Media, which is of course the most fun coursework ever ever, so yeah.

Fourth Lesson - Snakes Alive
This lesson was so much fun. This was my last ever official lesson with these guys, and suffice to say it went as well as it always does. Yes, there were a couple of petty annoyances, but as a whole the lesson was great.
My second biggest fan, Courtney, has also now been officially promoted to biggest fan for a few reasons. This lesson she decided to keep me in textiles, which I was fine with since that appeared to be the busiest part of the department this week, and we chatted a lot in-between me shouting at people and helping thread needles. It's apparent that another one of my talents is threading needles.
Jesus could thread needles. Just saying.
Anyway, as always some of the kids had been asking if I had ever been in a fight, and of course I can't lie. So this prompted Courtney to ask what that thing that makes me tick is. Naturally I couldn't talk about this in class, but I feel like I can trust her, and if I'm going to get through next year with these guys as well, they're going to have to know exactly how forbidden yo mum jokes are. I might have a word with her tomorrow.
Anyway, at the end of the lesson she departed by saying "I do like annoying you, Peter, but I love you really." Sounds familiar. But still oh so adorable.
So yeah, that's why she's been promoted.

Fifth Lesson - Building Bridges
With the dragster project behind us, it was decided that the year sevens would build bridges in teams of six to transport a tennis ball from one side of the room to the other. In fact, the exact same thing happened last term with the other group, and you know how that went. Yep, it failed. One group even went as far to try and make a cable car for the tennis ball, but this epically failed before they even finished.
So, I sat back and watched the kids fail while having a laugh with Mr Brown and Lee. Good show.

So yes, that was my wonderful Wednesday. Quite a lot better than yesterday in fact. Very a lot better. I'm planning on joining the year eights again tomorrow for the final send off for the Snakes Alive project, which I wouldn't miss for the world.
That'll be momentous.
Until tomorrow, folks.

Tuesday 13 July 2010

Hey it's Tuesday

Yes, it's day two of our epic last week of the year run, and things are going well!
I must point out that I'm doing this in order to keep up the post count while I'm away.
I have a target of at least 10 posts per month, and more if I can handle the heat.
And let's face it, who can get enough of Cliché Life Stuff?
No one, that's who.

First Lesson - Free
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that was nice.

Second Lesson - French
My god, that was the crappest film I've ever seen.

Third Lesson - German
What did I do exactly?

Fourth Lesson - Media
I did coursework! It's coming along nicely. So far it's at an A grade. This makes me happy.

Fifth Lesson - DT
I did...n't do coursework... Not my fault.

Okay, you're right, I didn't exactly go into detail, but what are you going to do about it? That's right, nothing. Hahahahahahaha.
There wasn't much to say about today, to be honest, it was a fairly boring and average day. At least I didn't wake myself by thinking today though, that's a sigh of relief.
I really need a haircut.
I also don't have any note-worthy complaints. Obviously I have regular complaints, like how the kids are getting increasingly annoying, but nothing to fuss about.
Hmm, so what kind of a mood am I in?
I don't feel overjoyed, in fact, this is typically the point where I'm feeling "Crap, I'm just about to be completely alone for a week" but then of course I realised "Hey, I'm going back to school next week anyway... just in Germany" which will be awesome.
It's a strange, strange feeling I can tell you that. Also I'm now dawdling, trying to find something to talk about.
Could I uncensor some of the censored Travis posts?
No, no I bloody can't. There's a reason I censored them.
Thought I'd get your hopes up there.
Hmm, sorry for the pointless post, I'll catch you tomorrow with a hopefully more interesting day.

*waves*

Monday 12 July 2010

Woke up with a Thought Monday

How does one possibly wake themselves by thinking?
That doesn't make any sense.
In any case, that totally ruined the start of my day.
Being awake first thing in the morning leaves you tired and feeling like shit for the rest of the day, unless I am actually ill, in which case there's a different excuse.
But anyway.
This thought plagued my morning, it left me constantly thinking.
"What was that thought?"
Well, I was just about to get to it.
"You still haven't said it yet"
Oh calm the fuck down.

Right, basically, it's not something I'm particularly worrying about now, but for some reason this morning it did.
Oh wait, I suddenly remembered what that thought was, and it's actually quite personal.
Not to me, mind.
In a nutshell, I'm sure you must have heard Becca preaching (and I'm pretty sure I can class it as preaching now) that I deserve a girlfriend more than ever now, especially since we've all figured out that I'm the saviour of the human race, but uh... I don't know, something confused me. I mean, for starters, I'm not completely different to everyone else. I mean, I believe I've grown as a person, in confidence as well as the nitty gritty bitties (and yes, I do realise that your perverse minds might construe that as something weird, but hey, I'm not changing it), but let's face it, while everyone's like "Oh yeah, he really does deserve to meet someone nice now," is not the same as saying "oh hell yeah, if you don't restrain me than I'll just have sex with him all over everything," is it?
That's a pretty big nutshell, but hey, I have pretty big nuts.
Hah.

Anyway, I believe I've forgotten something. Let's do this quickly.

First Lesson - Media
I was fucking ill, I can tell you that much. I walked in for Miss T to say "... so I'll do the tutorials tomorrow. Got to dash," so I walked out again, back to bottom red where I started to die.
I'm lying of course. It was the kind of illness that was like "My god I'm going to be sick. No wait, actually, I'm just being paranoid. I just can't feel my heart beating as profoundly as it normally does." This was quite ironic seeing as I was reading a zombie book.

Second Lesson - Teaching
Ah yes, the success stories. We went through reports today, and while there were some unsurprising failures, there was one particular lad, who had a target of standard. He was like "Yeah, that's fair enough" with his little voice.
But this is no ordinary child. This child has one working arm and a larger brother to help him.
What did Mr Brown kindly do? He told Jamie to go back and improve it. And my god, the sight at the end of the lesson, it's making me smile even as I write it. Tear to the eye and what not.
Mr B, "Wow, I can't really give you extended for that, can I? You've worked really hard, and I'm sorry but I just can't give you it."
Jamie, "Oh okay"
Older Bro, *smiles in my direction, he knows what's coming*
Mr B, "I'm going to have to give you Advanced."
Jesus Christ, "Good work, Jamie"
But seriously, the look on his face was priceless. He looked so god-damn happy. And it totally made my day. Go Jamie.

Third Lesson - Fuck it
There's actually no point in mentioning this lesson.

Fourth Lesson - DT?
Yes, yes it was DT, and we're really steaming along with this coursework. Kind of.
Actually, we're not.
The capacity for what I could do, and the work done is totally not me. We've been given a huge deadline, and guess what I'm going to do?
Yes, that's right, not do it until Thursday.
Brilliant.

Fifth Lesson - German
After circle time last week, the tables were ever so slightly mixed up, and while it didn't really make a difference to the people who actually moved, the idiots who were apparently ruining the lessons lightened up and let everyone else volunteer answers instead.
That's progress. And with only one more German lesson to go.

The bus was fucking horrible.
I'm actually getting tired of my year sevens now, they've become too much like Year 8s.
Fortunately, a lot of the year eights are becoming like year nines, and the Snakes Alive project is keeping them almost preoccupied.
So yeah. Year 8s: 2, Year 7s: 2.
Oooh, what'll happen next, I wonder?
As for this morning's thought, it's probably best not to worry about it, I was just surprised that it woke me is all.

Saturday 10 July 2010

I am the Messiah

"Your body must just be like the same temperature as whatever it is outside"
"Yeah, that's why I don't feel the cold"
"You could just sit in an ice cube"
"I'd be like a superhero"
"Iceman!"
"No wait, if it's true, I could sit in volcanoes too"
"Super-adaptive-man"
"My god, I'm the saviour of humanity. I am the Messiah!"
"No, you're a very naughty boy"
And then I groped her boob.
Not my fault, she practically asked me to do it.

So basically, I had Becca round today so that this beautiful day wasn't wasted, and as it turns out she was at Joe's house already, so it provided a nice little waypoint before she needed to go home.
We also went shopping!
But, yes, as said, I am the saviour of humanity, and I should take every possible opportunity to spread my seed, just in case.
Seriously, whether we go into an Ice Age or a drought, I'll be ready with my super-adaptive body, and soon so will hundreds of other kids.
One could argue that having Becca over all to myself was the perfect opportunity, but I gave her the "There's that moral dilemma" look, but I knew she was totally up for it.
That's also a lie, she's probably not totally up for it.
So we spent the afternoon totally not doing it.
After totally not doing it, we went shopping for new clothes that I should take to Berlin with me, and then after a final hug she got on the bus and I walked back home.

So yes, a perfect day.

Also, if you're trying to read into some of the sexual connotations that may have been formed during this post, I must tell you now, I was kind of hoping Becca's blog would stay logged in, so I prepared a post in my head for her, involving the moral dilemma and totally not doing it. Obviously it would've been funnier on her blog, but I didn't want to let all that preparation go to waste, so I put it here.
So yeah, there's your reasoning.
Just in case.

And tomorrow, I get to spend time with Joe, where I presume I'll totally not do it with him either, because of the moral dilemma, but Becca says he would be totally up for getting naked in front of we, of which I cannot remember the root of that comment, but whatever.
Joe, don't fear, you're not going to get naked in front of me unless the situation calls for it, and that situation would have to be pretty dire.
There's also that moral dilemma.

Anyway, hopefully there'll be more of those perfect days to come, and hopefully with more people.
Also, this is the last week of the year, so I'll maybe do a my day post everyday this week.
Who knows?
I do.
And I'm going to do it.
Now you know too.
Excellent.
I'm going to leave now.
Bye! *waves erratically*

Wednesday 7 July 2010

Aha, Fuck You

Yeah, I did that formal lesson today, and it went quite well.
So fuck you, kids who didn't want me to do it.
Ahahahahahaha.
Ahahahahahahahahaha.
Haha.
Hah.
Ha.
A.
H.
Laugh.
Of the evil kind.
*Sticks fingers up in the air*

Yes, I and the Duke told them all about the world, and its great countries, and their great wonders and histories.
Most of them were pretty interested, despite their previous comments of "Oh don't do it", "It'll be more shit than a hippo with a personality disorder"
Okay, you're right, twelve year olds don't have the capability to make such awesome metaphors, so yes, I did make that last one up.
Also they don't swear.
Also I swore at the end as the laptop wouldn't let me remove the pen-drive, and apparently they all heard me. Guess what ensued? Yeah, you guessed it.
"Oh my god, Peter swore"
I said fudge, they just heard it wrong.
Okay, I lied. Again.

As for the rest of the day, we filmed an awesome video for RichChief Live, our new online series filmed in Live Action.
It involved talking about how Twilight is an abomination, and we include many of the running themes in Twilight, such as necrophilia and bestiality.
We invented a new team to sort the argument out.
Team Roadkill.
What an awesome idea?
See your vampire mates with your werewolf, and you get a dead dog.
Ooh, perhaps that's what Twilight: Eclipse is all about.
Mary-Sue runs over a dog and decides to get with that instead.
Ooh, controversy.

Teaching was fun with the year eights, especially when Luke joined to help me shout at the ones who were messing around on the computers.
Bloody good thing he was there though, apparently a fight broke out while I was in one of the other rooms, and he sorted them out good and proper.
Way to go, Luke.
The Snakes Alive project is still going strong though, and one of the snakes is huge.
Anyway, enough about my penis, back to Snakes Alive.
See what I did there?
Bow chika bow wow.
Okay, I'm sorry.
But that was funny though.
Right, yes, the project is going brilliantly, and they're still hard at work and hardly working, and it's great.
The year sevens were a little less fun, especially towards the end of the lesson.
I had to control my temper, which shouldn't be an issue now.
They just need to be reminded that my word is law, and if a shout is necessary to convey that rule, then so be it. I will shout.

What's new in the world of me then?
Not much, to be quite honest.
I'm not super happy, but I'm also not down.
I've put on a bit of weight, proven by the button in my trousers that is no longer there.
It was quite funny actually, I put them on, did them up and then *ping!* the button flies into the mirror, bounces off and hits me in the face.
Comedy or what?
Should've been there, man, you should've been there.
Josh asked me the other day who I was into these days, and I answered that I don't do that anymore, because of the fact that I realised that the only person you can ever truly like, want, love, whatever, is the person hanging on your right arm, but I don't know.
I mean, obviously I have desires, otherwise I'll never get anywhere, or perhaps I'm over-analysing this, and I should just say "fuck it" and get on with my life.
But I don't know.
My dreams haven't told me anything lately, aside from the fact that I like teaching.
I know, I had a dream about teaching my year eights, which is weird.
I only bring this up because of my fear that I might be becoming attached, and it was only detaching before that led to the eventual new me, once everything had calmed down.
I don't know.
Also, I'm not going to be less cryptic than that.

Ciao

Monday 5 July 2010

Liberal Monday

Yeah, I know, it was the 4th of July yesterday, but I needed a name for the post, and thus I got one.
Also we don't celebrate the 4th of July, but hey to the ho.

First Lesson - Media
Ah, what fun Media is now. Coursework. Lots and lots of coursework. And it's dead fun. Like seriously dead fun.
Some people hate coursework, but this coursework is fantastic, because I get to be as creative as I want to be, but within boundaries, which of course is the challenge.

Second Lesson - Teaching
Yes, I'm still keeping that up.
Monday morning is definitely not the best time to teach 12 year olds, but heck I can't get enough of it. Well, maybe on Mondays.
But nah, it's cool, I get a kick out of it.
Don't have any work to do now anyway, so it's only Duke and Luke I'm missing out on.
Sorry, guys.

Third Lesson - Physics
You know, you're right, it does seem like I'm doing a lot more Physics than French these days.
Well that's because Physics is a hell of a lot more interesting than French right now.
Like super more interesting.
I really can't be bothered with those toads anymore, nor the class it looks like I would be with if I did carry on, which I might but probably won't.
I don't know.
Anyway, yeah, Physics was quite fun, got to help people with their various experiments.
Coolio.

Fourth Lesson - DT
What did I do in DT? Oh yeah, procrastinate.
I know, I know, I have coursework to do, but Mrs Quinreynolds has given us a loose deadline of the end of term, which is miles away.
Just FYI, I'm building a chair for the glasses-choosey, head measuring section where the chairs are indeed perfectly comfortable, but not at all representative of the Specsavers modern design movement.
Plush chairs are so 1999.

Fifth Lesson - Deutsch
We did work in German.
I know, funny that.
Wasn't difficult work though, and it wasn't the most exciting lesson of all time.
In fact, I don't recall much from that lesson at all.
Hmm...

The day ended with me on my lonesome at the back of the bus, and I was like "Yes! Just me. No molesting, no kids, no singing, aaaaahhhhhhhh"
Then Romeo and Emily sat at the back.
Guess what the relaxed atmosphere turned into?
Well, my only participation in the following events was to get some Monster Munch, which you must understand.
Anyway, yeah, lots of screaming from the little girl, lots of shouting from the black guy.
All because of Monster Munch.
I like Monster Munch.

Friday 2 July 2010

Fricking Friday

I woke up miserable, I walked to the bus stop miserable, I got to school miserable, Becca was miserable, I gave her a hug, and managed to cheer myself up a bit, and hopefully her too.

First Lesson - DT
As I said, I started the day miserably, but Joshy Woshy and Wezdog managed to bring a little fun into things, and of course there was Mr Barrett being jolly as always.

Second Lesson - Structured Study
I finished episode one! Wuhoo! I must have played it through about five times that lesson, and I can tell you, after two years of writing this stuff, the quote
"Exactly, if you can't even do a simple equation to which the answer is clearly ... wait a minute... five then two... right... seven? No, that's not right..."
"Ten"
"To which the answer is clearly ten"
still hasn't gotten old.
And I'm pretty sure it never will.

Third Lesson - Oh yawn
Yep, French.
Oh yawn, indeed.
Although, at lunch I discovered that my kids were just being dicks yesterday. They called me over to their table, at which point they announced the stupid things they'd done in the day, and the ink stains to prove it, and then I stuck my hand in one of their faces and walked off. That's not so bad.

Fourth Lesson - German
We managed to finish watching a film! Wuhoo!
That's like, never happened before in languages. We never finish films!

Fifth Lesson - Media
The trouble I'm having with media at the moment is that I'm getting the work done incredibly quickly, prompting Mr Coop-dog to be all like "Wow, you've done it already!"
And I'm like "Was this not the work that we were supposed to have done for today"
"Well most people haven't even done their surveys yet"
S'cool.
Here I've been worrying that my work has been shoddy and slow, I almost missed the first deadline for heaven's sake.
But seriously, this coursework is going to be fantastic.

So, not such a bad day after all.
This weekend is looking to be fantastic, if all goes to plan.
Ciao.

Thursday 1 July 2010

First o' July

"I hate you"
"Yeah, we hate you now"
"We want the other Peter instead"

I hate my life.

At least the remainder of the day wasn't so bad.
But this is exactly why I don't actually want my friends and my kids to know each other.
Because I'm always in last place.