Right, so, let's begin. Apologies for this post being not done before the one after it, but hey, I can't do seven million things at once. 6,999,999 things I can do, but not seven million. That's totally out of the question. In fact, it's so out of the question that the answer doesn't even link with it any more. Crazy stuff.
Anyway, I begin this story with a description of what the hell I did. I got up, caught the bus and arrived at school. I talked to Mr Browne for a while about what I wanted to do, but he told me that the kids were behind in their work and therefore it would be impossible for me to do pretty much any of what I wanted to do. I was annoyed. Still, we found a way around it. I then left DT so that I could return my German books to Miss Hibbard who seemed absolutely amazed to see me and nearly screamed when she saw me. Her class was confused.
On my way to wherever the hell I planned to spend the fifteen minutes before the start of my lesson with the kids I ran into Sara and Georgia (two of my kids). They, too, were happy to see me, but as is my duty as a mentor I couldn't allow them to be out of lesson without at least some kind of explanation. They told me that they had been moved to the other side of the year, but hadn't been given any kind of timetable. I didn't know our school was into this kind of heresy. Anyway, we stood and chatted for a while until the start of lesson when they both gave me a massive hug and told everyone else in their year that I was leaving. Obviously the first people who walked past didn't know who I was at all, because I only teach half of the year nines, but hey. Then my lot came along and crowded me, each one of them trying to get a glimpse - in some cases even a quick hug - of me before I told them all to get to class.
I found me a Mr Barrett and said hi and had a quick chat with him before I went to go and teach Mrs Wright's group, where I'd hoped Mrs Wright would be so I could chat to her. I have no idea where she went, but she left a Mr Gilespi and a ... crap, what was her name? You know, the one whose name we mustn't say. I was angry to say the least, but I can't remember why. Perhaps the answer is hidden within this blog. Luckily that harpie was only there to explain to the kids what they were doing and soon she left without even acknowledging me. I was pleased with this. They only had to write up their evaluations, which meant my job was insanely easy. Mr Browne's group, though, were finishing off their can crushers, which I had to see. Some of them are inspired. Most of them won't work. A guy called Kiran made an interesting cog construction. It was basically a cog that turned and pushed forward a block which would then crush the can. As unique and interesting as this idea is, it won't have worked. Brandon's idea was simple, a handle and block that you pull down and crush the can. That idea will work. He also made it look nice too, which'll give him a few extra marks. Needless to say I didn't actually get to see any of the can crushers actually crush any cans, but hey, I'm not a sceptic. Since Mrs Wright's group were only doing their evaluations I was given ample time to actually sit down, talk and get a proper opportunity to say goodbye to them properly. We had a good laugh and at the end of the lesson I distinctly remember Casey shouting, "What? It's your last day?" She then proceeded to give me a massive hug, and then everyone else wanted a turn.
I didn't exactly do what I wanted to do for this last time I will ever be able to teach these kids, but I've told as many as I can that this will not be the last time that I see them.
I'm not even finished yet though. After this lesson the year eights poured in to finish their Snakes Alive project (you may remember me doing that with My Kids last year), so I thought,
"What the hell? I'll stay and help out." It was actually surprisingly fun. I've had a lot of time away from these kids - a whole year in fact - but they still welcomed me with open arms. Nothing groundbreaking happened, and their work is certainly not as good as the stuff My Kids made (just take note of that, DT department), but it was still a good end to the day.
I walked home with Courtney so that I could say goodbye to her personally, since I had purposefully not spent that much time with her in the lesson. She told me about how funny I was being in the lesson, and that's good. But in any case, since I've spent the past 4 weeks saying goodbye to these kids there wasn't really much else to say, so I gave her a hug and she went on her merry way.
It didn't really feel like a goodbye though, so when I got home I booted up Facebook and I prepared myself to send the most heart-warming speech ever and send a personal message to each of My Kids. Fuck me, it was difficult.
The first part of the message I sent to all of them:
"Hey kids. I thought I'd send you all a little message on our last day.
As you know today was the last time that I'll ever teach you, and for me that's not very easy to deal with. At the end of last year I did Snakes Alive with you all and that was what I thought would be the end. But then I thought, "No, there's no way I can let them go through year 9 without me." So I carried on. But now you're going into year 10, which is the year you start your GCSEs and the fact that I can't help you all through it in whatever way possible is eating me up inside. I kind of feel like I'm abandoning you.
So you know, if you ever feel like you need to turn to someone, well I'm only an email away."
Whereas the second part followed a template, just because I knew that these kids probably wouldn't show each other the exact message. Each message was tailored to suit the kid.
For example, this is what I sent to Casey:
"But you, Casey, have been an absolute gem over the last two years. Yeah I know that you're not one of the brightest sparks, but you're definitely not an idiot, and you do have the potential to do brilliantly in your GCSEs. You are my personal "most improved student" because that's what you are. And aside from that you're a right laugh to hang around with and some of the things you come out with are hilarious.
I love you and I will miss you loads, which is why I hope today isn't the last time we see each other, whether we plan to get together or just chance upon each other in town.
Best of luck for your future,
Peter :)"
And this is what I sent to Paige:
"Now for the personal bit, Paige. We've only gotten to know each other very recently, but it's still been a hell of a lot of fun to get to know you. Your odd habits and tendency to throw things at me and start on me really made lessons that much more fun to teach. That wild sense of humour will help get you a long way in your life, so don't try and grow up too quickly. It's that positive attitude that will also help you a lot throughout your GCSEs. Trust me, if you start to become negative then life becomes a living hell through your exams and coursework.
I will definitely miss you and I really do hope that we didn't see each other for the last time the other day, so either we'll all just have to meet by chance or organise something.
All the best for the future,
Peter :)"
See? Template.
Now you see, over the last couple of years I've come to realise that I wouldn't actually be making that much of a difference to these kids' lives, so I made it my absolute duty that if I could even make one kid say thank you and say that they wanted to see me again, then it'd all be worth it. Every time I had to shout at one of them for being a dick, or every time I had to bend the rules because I knew that if I just did what they didn't understand very well for them then everyone's lives would be easier. Every single time I had to stand, sigh, and explain something in the simplest manner to them. Every time we mocked and teased each other. All of that would have been worth it if I could've come away from that with at least one kid with a smile on their face. Now I knew a few months ago that Courtney appreciated the work that I had done and she gives me a smile every time she sees me, so there, that was job done. I could've left it at that. But how could I? How could I leave if only one of them respected me? I mean, yeah, it was worth it, but was it fulfilling? Yes, but I wanted more, so I stayed on for four weeks during my exams, and they became absolute diamonds of students. The best kids that I could've asked for. Every single teacher in the school absolutely despised this year group, but I think I made something good out of them. Half of them anyway. When every single kid on that last day said things like "thank you so much," "we're really going to miss you," and, "I love you Peter!" and then when all those kids I emailed on Facebook replied with all of those things along with, "Yeah, we'll all have to meet up soon," and other such things I knew once and for all that I had done what teachers like Mr Barrett, Mr Nicholls and Miss T had done before me; made a difference. I wasn't just another Mr Lloyd-Jones or a Miss Smith, I was someone who had helped these kids enough for them to turn to me before anyone else to ask for help. I even made them want to see me again. I've got to be honest with you, this time last year I wouldn't have expected that. I mean, hell, I know I'm not exactly the best teacher, but I think that I proved that I was at least a good one.
And do you know what? I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.
I'm really going to miss those kids. But hell if I say it's over yet.
