Saturday 26 May 2012
IT'S HOT
It is indeed fucking hot right now. It literally came out of nowhere. I had my jumper on one day because it was cold, stepped outside the next day and it was like FUUUUUCCKK IT'S HOT. I ran back into my flat and took off many layers as socially acceptable (in this case: one) and continued on with my day.
I also did my exam the other day for Studies in Media Technology. It was alright, a bit harder than I expected it to be, but mainly because I was riled up for writing essays and we were given short-answer questions. It was a bullshit module though. I didn't sign up to do the history of social media, mainly because I don't care about. Sure, throw the history of radios and cameras at me, because that's actually super interesting, but the rest of it is bullshit. I like doing current topics, because that's what media is all about, the now. Seriously, this time last year I sat down and did my A-level media exam and it was so relevant and I could slate the government so much in it that I was like "YEAAAHHH!!" and I got an A. I don't think I did that well this time, and purely because the entire topic isn't actually very topical at all. Suffice to say, I didn't like the style of this module from beginning to end. Even building a radio turned out to be bullshit. I mean, the building part was fun, but the report part that they threw on us a week before the deadline was just utter shit. So yeah, I'm really glad that I don't have to do that module again.
Either way, that night we went out and that was a whole heap of fun. We started off in Ryan's flat playing drinking games. Usually we go to the pub, but I think I preferred this, because it was more personal and less expensive. I'll definitely be suggesting this for the future. After that we went clubbing, because that's what drunk people do. And by god, I'm glad we're going home for the summer. I really don't want to be cooped up in that heat again for that long. I threw my shirt on the floor when I got home and I picked it up again a few hours ago and it was still soaked.
Still, at least my flat is colder than the outside world. It's such a shame that I've come home for the weekend.
Next week should be awesome though.
Pete out.
Tuesday 22 May 2012
Friday 18 May 2012
I'M BILL
Today is the day after I made this, and now I feel like has shoved his fist down my throat and is beating me repeatedly over the head with a blunt instrument. Probably a baseball bat. Yeah, that sounds about right. It's not a flat pain, it's a ... round pain.
I've been in bed most of the day, and I fully intend to return to it quite soon. Still, at least this is the once-a-year immune system fail out of the way. Oh yeah, I generally only get sick once a year, unless alcohol has anything to say about it.
This is one of those times in which I wish drugs do me any good, but unfortunately they usually just make me more ill. I think I've survived so long without them that my immune system actually rejects them. I think that makes sense.
Fuck it.
Pete out.
Wednesday 16 May 2012
Trains are Stupid.
So last week I decided that I would go home for the week. That week is now over. It mainly consisted of playing Mass Effect 3, but to be honest I needed the break so I don't feel like I've wasted any time. Gave me a chance to do some revision as well, so that's cool.
Either way, I was super cautious on the way home because the trains were on strike, but luckily it seemed that my particular journey wouldn't be affected, but nonetheless I made sure I got there early so I could get a good look at the train times matrix just to be absolutely certain that I wouldn't have to wait for an ungodly amount of time.
It seems like my caution was misplaced.
Let's tell this from the point of view from Inside Voice. I'm now going to take you back to last Thursday, as if it were real time.
Ah, good, my train isn't affected by the strikes. I'm just going to waltz on in. Eugh, ticket barrier. I always fear that these aren't going to give my ticket back. The number of seconds it takes for it to realise that my ticket is, indeed, a ticket is just ridiculous. Why does it need to be sucked in anyway? You know it would be cheaper to just have the scanner on top of the machine, right? I'm sure there's some reason for it, but I don't see it, and therefore I'm going to complain about it until someone gives me a reason for it.
Right, the station. This is where my journey either begins or ends. Train is arriving, nice and on-time. You know, I think this journey is going to go without a hitch. But gah, fucking Londoners filling up the carriages. I'll have to stand with my 10kg of stuff. Oh yeah, it's nice for you with your suit and your briefcase and your newspaper. I'm sure you have more of a reason to be seated than me. No no, you go ahead. It's not like you were driven to the station by your driver specifically so you could travel to London and be seated on something else. I personally think it would be good for you to stand up every once in a while. And no, standing up to complain to Rhonda because your coffee isn't quite right doesn't count. That's a little racist, bundling them all together like that and judging them because they have jobs. Not everyone's personal assistant is called Rhonda. I'm sorry, Rhondas. Oh well, at least I'm going to get home on time.
Intercom: Due to a signal failure between the Bedford area and London, we have been delayed for an unknown amount of time.
DA FUCK?! Oh how fucking convenient, you wank stains. A signal delay in BEDFORD? I live two stops closer than Bedford! Take the train to fucking Bedford!
Intercom: For those passengers travelling to London, we recommend taking the 1549 Cross-Country Service to London.
LONDONERS! Ooh, if I weren't just words in a head, then I'd give you such a fist shaking. That's uh... that's me shaking my fist at you, and not... you know, something sexual. I don't know what sexual act that could entail, but it sounded sexual so yeah... either way, fuck you guys. Again, not sexual. It was an act of aggression. Not sexual aggression, just regular old "I hate you guys" aggression. Wait! The Londoners are fucking off! Hah, buhbye Suity McI'mbetterthanyou, bye Icanaffordto Reserveaseatonthetrain, bye Pretentious McKnobhead. Is it clearing out? Oh balls, a baby and their parent have just gotten on. Oh they're asking me what's going on. Well I'll inform you. We're fucked. We've actually been fucked up the arse by Idiot McNocommonsensetojusttakethetraintobedford. Outside Voice won't say that, though. You'll say something inspiring, helpful, but nothing too good to get their hopes up.
Outside Voice: Because of something or other happening all the way in Bedford, we've been stopped here for god knows how long. But they have promised that the train will get there at some point.
Driving the point home, good and proper. Bringing the mortals together to stick it to the Man. Oh yeah. I can feel dozens of complaints coming along. I won't complain, because I'm a half decent human being who knows what kind of trouble these guys are in right now. The confusion must be overwhelming. You know where you could deal with that confusion? Bedford. But anyway, let's stop being angry. Aw, look at the baby. He's so cute! That baby is going to annoy me in exactly three seconds. Ooh, accidentally kicked the pram wheel. Therefore that baby is in my way. I hate it. Oh, and now it's getting attention from a patronising old woman. Great. I can see empty seats. But now there's an entire family and an old woman blocking my way. If I could just... kill the baby... no, that would be mean. Especially to the baby. I'll let it live. Kill the parents. No, that would also be mean to the baby. Kill the old woman. She's on a train. No one will miss her. But would she be more in the way if I killed her? I mean, if I had telekinesis then I could atomise her. I think atomise means to break down into atoms... I wonder if it does...
Intercom: Due to signal failures in Bedford...
FUCK OFF! Wish I could atomise you. Right, that's it family, move. AWESOME! SEATS! FREEDOM! MOVE OLD WOMAN! I HAVE A SEAT THAT YOU COULD POTENTIALLY SIT ON TO STEAL! Muahahahahahah! Ah... seat... what a simple pleasure to have. To be able to sit down on a train. This doesn't happen very often. Nope, there's just us simple Kettering-folk and other people who don't matter on this train now. That was rude, it's not that they don't matter, it's that their journeys don't concern me in the slightest. So yeah, they don't matter. Either way, at least I can be seated, and can hopefully relax about the whole process. In order to aid this, I think I'm going to complain to someone... who would be sympathetic to my cause? Josh. He lives in Liverpool. I bet every time he tries to get on the train, loads of bl------- regular thuggish people try and shank him. Or indeed the driver tries to pickpocket the train. Don't know if you've seen the size of pockets on trains, but they're really difficult to get at because they're inside, and there are people there. Can't just grab and run. It's a confined space; he wouldn't get away with it. As such, the train would be delayed as long as the driver is trying to skilfully pickpocket the train. Yeah, I'll text him. Hah, LINMH. I would say LOL, but what I'm actually doing in this case is Laughing In My Head, so that makes more sense. Plus LOL is just awful. So, so awful. LINMH will be the next big thing, you watch. It's catchy, simply and makes total sense. Oh, so when his trains get delayed for more than half an hour, they get free Mars BarsTM and CokeTM? I've been waiting on this train for half an hour. I don't see any Mars Bars. Trademark. I bet you that as soon as the train starts moving, they'll have the cheek to bring the snack trolley over and ask me for money to pay for the food. AHAHA! They're such arseholes. This is such a fixable problem as well, just go to fucking Bedford.
Intercom: Sorry for the delay, but we can confirm that we will be travelling as far as Bedford within the next few minutes.
FINALLY! IT TOOK YOU FORTY FUCKING MINUTES TO DECIDE UPON SOMETHING THAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED AT THE VERY LATEST HALF A-FUCKING HOUR AGO?! YOU DONKEY-FUCKERS. But I do appreciate that we're now moving. I'm sorry, it was rude of me to call you donkey-fuckers. Well, rude to the donkeys at least POW. At least I can stop ranting now. Maybe Outside Voice will chronicle this for his blog... It's been a while.
Well, that was another adventure from Inside Voice, and I hope you enjoyed it.
Stupid trains.
Pete out.
Either way, I was super cautious on the way home because the trains were on strike, but luckily it seemed that my particular journey wouldn't be affected, but nonetheless I made sure I got there early so I could get a good look at the train times matrix just to be absolutely certain that I wouldn't have to wait for an ungodly amount of time.
It seems like my caution was misplaced.
Let's tell this from the point of view from Inside Voice. I'm now going to take you back to last Thursday, as if it were real time.
Ah, good, my train isn't affected by the strikes. I'm just going to waltz on in. Eugh, ticket barrier. I always fear that these aren't going to give my ticket back. The number of seconds it takes for it to realise that my ticket is, indeed, a ticket is just ridiculous. Why does it need to be sucked in anyway? You know it would be cheaper to just have the scanner on top of the machine, right? I'm sure there's some reason for it, but I don't see it, and therefore I'm going to complain about it until someone gives me a reason for it.
Right, the station. This is where my journey either begins or ends. Train is arriving, nice and on-time. You know, I think this journey is going to go without a hitch. But gah, fucking Londoners filling up the carriages. I'll have to stand with my 10kg of stuff. Oh yeah, it's nice for you with your suit and your briefcase and your newspaper. I'm sure you have more of a reason to be seated than me. No no, you go ahead. It's not like you were driven to the station by your driver specifically so you could travel to London and be seated on something else. I personally think it would be good for you to stand up every once in a while. And no, standing up to complain to Rhonda because your coffee isn't quite right doesn't count. That's a little racist, bundling them all together like that and judging them because they have jobs. Not everyone's personal assistant is called Rhonda. I'm sorry, Rhondas. Oh well, at least I'm going to get home on time.
Intercom: Due to a signal failure between the Bedford area and London, we have been delayed for an unknown amount of time.
DA FUCK?! Oh how fucking convenient, you wank stains. A signal delay in BEDFORD? I live two stops closer than Bedford! Take the train to fucking Bedford!
Intercom: For those passengers travelling to London, we recommend taking the 1549 Cross-Country Service to London.
LONDONERS! Ooh, if I weren't just words in a head, then I'd give you such a fist shaking. That's uh... that's me shaking my fist at you, and not... you know, something sexual. I don't know what sexual act that could entail, but it sounded sexual so yeah... either way, fuck you guys. Again, not sexual. It was an act of aggression. Not sexual aggression, just regular old "I hate you guys" aggression. Wait! The Londoners are fucking off! Hah, buhbye Suity McI'mbetterthanyou, bye Icanaffordto Reserveaseatonthetrain, bye Pretentious McKnobhead. Is it clearing out? Oh balls, a baby and their parent have just gotten on. Oh they're asking me what's going on. Well I'll inform you. We're fucked. We've actually been fucked up the arse by Idiot McNocommonsensetojusttakethetraintobedford. Outside Voice won't say that, though. You'll say something inspiring, helpful, but nothing too good to get their hopes up.
Outside Voice: Because of something or other happening all the way in Bedford, we've been stopped here for god knows how long. But they have promised that the train will get there at some point.
Driving the point home, good and proper. Bringing the mortals together to stick it to the Man. Oh yeah. I can feel dozens of complaints coming along. I won't complain, because I'm a half decent human being who knows what kind of trouble these guys are in right now. The confusion must be overwhelming. You know where you could deal with that confusion? Bedford. But anyway, let's stop being angry. Aw, look at the baby. He's so cute! That baby is going to annoy me in exactly three seconds. Ooh, accidentally kicked the pram wheel. Therefore that baby is in my way. I hate it. Oh, and now it's getting attention from a patronising old woman. Great. I can see empty seats. But now there's an entire family and an old woman blocking my way. If I could just... kill the baby... no, that would be mean. Especially to the baby. I'll let it live. Kill the parents. No, that would also be mean to the baby. Kill the old woman. She's on a train. No one will miss her. But would she be more in the way if I killed her? I mean, if I had telekinesis then I could atomise her. I think atomise means to break down into atoms... I wonder if it does...
Intercom: Due to signal failures in Bedford...
FUCK OFF! Wish I could atomise you. Right, that's it family, move. AWESOME! SEATS! FREEDOM! MOVE OLD WOMAN! I HAVE A SEAT THAT YOU COULD POTENTIALLY SIT ON TO STEAL! Muahahahahahah! Ah... seat... what a simple pleasure to have. To be able to sit down on a train. This doesn't happen very often. Nope, there's just us simple Kettering-folk and other people who don't matter on this train now. That was rude, it's not that they don't matter, it's that their journeys don't concern me in the slightest. So yeah, they don't matter. Either way, at least I can be seated, and can hopefully relax about the whole process. In order to aid this, I think I'm going to complain to someone... who would be sympathetic to my cause? Josh. He lives in Liverpool. I bet every time he tries to get on the train, loads of bl------- regular thuggish people try and shank him. Or indeed the driver tries to pickpocket the train. Don't know if you've seen the size of pockets on trains, but they're really difficult to get at because they're inside, and there are people there. Can't just grab and run. It's a confined space; he wouldn't get away with it. As such, the train would be delayed as long as the driver is trying to skilfully pickpocket the train. Yeah, I'll text him. Hah, LINMH. I would say LOL, but what I'm actually doing in this case is Laughing In My Head, so that makes more sense. Plus LOL is just awful. So, so awful. LINMH will be the next big thing, you watch. It's catchy, simply and makes total sense. Oh, so when his trains get delayed for more than half an hour, they get free Mars BarsTM and CokeTM? I've been waiting on this train for half an hour. I don't see any Mars Bars. Trademark. I bet you that as soon as the train starts moving, they'll have the cheek to bring the snack trolley over and ask me for money to pay for the food. AHAHA! They're such arseholes. This is such a fixable problem as well, just go to fucking Bedford.
Intercom: Sorry for the delay, but we can confirm that we will be travelling as far as Bedford within the next few minutes.
FINALLY! IT TOOK YOU FORTY FUCKING MINUTES TO DECIDE UPON SOMETHING THAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED AT THE VERY LATEST HALF A-FUCKING HOUR AGO?! YOU DONKEY-FUCKERS. But I do appreciate that we're now moving. I'm sorry, it was rude of me to call you donkey-fuckers. Well, rude to the donkeys at least POW. At least I can stop ranting now. Maybe Outside Voice will chronicle this for his blog... It's been a while.
Well, that was another adventure from Inside Voice, and I hope you enjoyed it.
Stupid trains.
Pete out.
Tuesday 15 May 2012
Pizzle's Adentures: COMMUNITY CENTRE
This is the first episode of my new series, Pizzle's Adventures, which follows the life of my alter ego, Pizzle, who is basically just a gangster version of me.
You know what though? This is the kind of video that I make for friends exclusively, so as such I want YouTube to add a "Friends only" option. Because Facebook has it, so why can't anything else? It's so logical. You tie your YouTube and Facebook accounts together, and then you can choose to share the video with everyone, or just your Facebook friends. It just makes sense.
There are many things that need fixing in this world, and I will complain about them and expect something to happen, but otherwise do nothing about it.
Pete out.
Monday 14 May 2012
Salute to Stupidity: Balls
So this salute is primarily focussed on a conversation I had with Dukey about balls. It's funny. Oh, there is a bit missed off from the beginning, but that's private so fuck off.
Me: "At least you get to enjoy your vaginaball now. That was an unnecessary attack on football, and I'm sorry. And yet, it was still funny"
Dukey: "I would have enjoyed my football regardless"
Me: "I just thought of something funnier. Vaginaball is the national sport of Thailand. Thank you and goodnight."
Dukey: "Why... oh dear, that's abballing. Terriball, even"
Me: "Was that another joke? Oh. Yes it was. You're so funny."
Dukey: "I thought both were fairly respectaball."
Me: "Okay, that one actually made me smile. You're a cunt. And you know what you do with cunts? Kick them. Just like vaginaball. Full circle!"
Dukey: "*sigh* I think this one's been tapped dry..."
Me: "I think your balls have been tapped dry. Uh. I think that may have been a compliment by mistake."
Dukey: "Fuck yeah ;)"
So yeah, that was funny. If you'd like more football-based puns, then I posted for a while on the First Flight Foot-y blog (link to the right), so you should check that out. I stopped because I no longer had enough time to do it.
So who will tickle my funny bone next?
Stay tuned for the next Salute to Stupidity!
Pete out.
Me: "At least you get to enjoy your vaginaball now. That was an unnecessary attack on football, and I'm sorry. And yet, it was still funny"
Dukey: "I would have enjoyed my football regardless"
Me: "I just thought of something funnier. Vaginaball is the national sport of Thailand. Thank you and goodnight."
Dukey: "Why... oh dear, that's abballing. Terriball, even"
Me: "Was that another joke? Oh. Yes it was. You're so funny."
Dukey: "I thought both were fairly respectaball."
Me: "Okay, that one actually made me smile. You're a cunt. And you know what you do with cunts? Kick them. Just like vaginaball. Full circle!"
Dukey: "*sigh* I think this one's been tapped dry..."
Me: "I think your balls have been tapped dry. Uh. I think that may have been a compliment by mistake."
Dukey: "Fuck yeah ;)"
So yeah, that was funny. If you'd like more football-based puns, then I posted for a while on the First Flight Foot-y blog (link to the right), so you should check that out. I stopped because I no longer had enough time to do it.
So who will tickle my funny bone next?
Stay tuned for the next Salute to Stupidity!
Pete out.
Electric Teapots: HORROR WEEK
Yeah, I think this was an unpopular week for Electric Teapots.
Pete out.
Friday 11 May 2012
NEW FAN ART
I've gotten really bad at posting recently. Either way, here's the fan art.
I'm not sure why the last one wasn't fan art... because it's art... made by a fan. In any case, they're kind of cool, right?
I'm definitely going to make a worthwhile post soon, I promise. I'm just a bit busy right now. Admittedly, my current activity is playing Mass Effect 3, but shush.
Pete out.
Sunday 6 May 2012
Electric Teapots: Parody Week 2
I've won. Again. I didn't really do Tobuscus justice... but that's because he's awesome and has fuck loads of awesome equipment that I don't have. Goal: sighted.
Pete out.
Friday 4 May 2012
NEW WEBSERIES
So yeah, as the title says, I'm making a new webseries, which follows the adventures of Pizzle, a character I invented for an Electric Teapots video.
The reception of this character was so good that I've decided to pursue it and produce a series out of it. I'm yet to think of a name, but it's probably going to be Pizzle's Adventures for lack of a better idea, and I don't have any idea for a release date either, but I promise that it's going to be good.
Pete out.
Thursday 3 May 2012
Electric Teapots: TENSION SKETCH
This is the first sketch made by Electric Teapots, and I've got to say it's quite good. Okay, the scenes with my talking weren't entirely necessary, but they introduce the concept as well as asking for feedback.
So far it has been well-received and feedback has actually been given.
I'm very happy with the way this has turned out, and there will definitely be new sketches coming soon.
Pete out.
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