Cliché Life Stuff: Salute to Stupidity 7

I'm going to explain this to you now. The first load of Salutes will be from a session on Call of Duty when Dukey decided that it would be a massively awesome idea to write down everything that was hilarious on account of the fact that we come up with some crackers while gaming, but never think to write them down.

Me: *giggles*
Duke: "Who just got the rolling thunder?"
Me: "I did. Hehehe! Oh, I just blew myself up."
Duke: "You just exploded yourself, didn’t you?"
Me: "Yep"

"Come here you cunt!" Dukey on fuck, he's angry.

"Damn you, Hutch, damn you!" Manny on take three guesses

"Oh fuck don’t kill me!" Me on I didn't want to die

"You can run, but you can’t glide" Dukey on he has an axe and he's hunting me down.

"Hutchy, you remind me of a shit I once ate. Soft and gooey on the outside and seemingly edible, but on the inside you’re just a cunt." Dukey on he seems mad at me.

"I got killed. I’m sad now" Dukey on he died.

Duke: "Manny, I was just about to say something awesome about Jews before you interrupted me."
Quach: "Who’s jewish? Wait, Manny, are you Jewish?"
Manny: "What? No! I’m Columbian!"
Jews aren't a race, Manny, they're a religion. You can be both Columbian and Jewish. I can't actually believe you said that.

"Stop making me say fuck you fucking fuck fuck." Dukey on he's still angry.

Duke: "Lick knob and die!"
Rasmus: "Lick knob?"
Duke: "What? Do you want to lick knob?"
Rasmus: "No, I just don’t understand how you’d lick knob."
Duke: "What? How can you not?"
Rasmus: *Barking on about something as a Swede always does*
Me: "He needs to know. He must find out."

Quach: "Oh yeah, I like Black Ops."
Me: "What was that? You like black cocks?"
Quach: "No I said black ops."
Me: "There you go again!"
Inside Voice: "Heheheh, good one."

I shall endeavour to update this as readily as I do. In fact, there's got to be a few on Facebook I haven't documented yet. Hang on.

Ah yes, this:

That there is an epic title.

Me: "Hmm, Westie likes Save Stepps Green Belt."
Dukey: "What? Westie likes to have safe sex?"
Me: "No, I said Save Stepps Green Belt."
Dukey: "Ohhhh"
Me: "However I am definitely going to have to post on Westie's wall now."

And I did.

"Youtube just transcribed Dukey saying 'I'd like a BigMac' as 'anti-communist alliance'." Josh on YouTube's new Closed Captioning thing.

In fact, that Close Captioning thing is totally inspiration for a whole new breed of Salute to Stupidity. It will be magnificent.

"listening to Peter Hutchinson and Joshua Splodge Hilton yammering on about engineering stuff...urge to kill...rising...." Dukey on it's okay, Dukey, when Josh gets started not even an event like 2012 could stop him. In fact, if the world ended tomorrow he'd still be yammering on about that hovercraft, despite all of Earth's natural resources being completely eradicated by the blast. But that's the point that you're about to make, isn't it, Josh? We don't need any of Earth's "natural" resources, because after the apocalypse we'll have all the time in the world to perfect the ability to create synthetic materials from nothing more than dirt and ash. Oh god, please don't tell me that I've given him an idea. Uh... [redacted]. Right, he'll have forgotten all of that. Josh, if you're reading this then you've just forgotten what you just read. Josh, if you're reading this then you've just forgotten what you just read. (See what I did there?) Anyway, under no circumstance, Josh, must you either A: remember what you just read or B: reread what you've forgotten you just read in order to remember what you just read. There, I think that should do the trick. If you do happen to remember what you just read then you must never, NEVER, cause the apocalypse in order to gain valuable time so that you can perfect the ability to create synthetic materials from nothing more than dirt and ash. You've been warned.

Uh, that was the longest explanation of a Salute ever. Oh, they're called Salutes now, just in case you didn't pick that up. Anyway, if I update then you'll enjoy more Salutes, but if I don't then you won't so live with it.

"Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like." Dukey on yeah, he stole that.

To Dukey:

Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson Peter Hutchinson

If you're Dukey you will totally understand that.