Vendredi
So, Friday. Friday, Friday, Friday. What happened on Friday? What did happen on Friday? Oh yeah, you know how the other day I said I was knackered? Well today, meaning Friday (if you hadn't already gathered), we decided to go on the longest, highest and most difficult trail in the near mountain area! Whoo! *Party pop*! Eugh. The first hill was at a 30 degree gradient, so that instantly knackered me. This remained pretty much consistent for the first three miles of the trek. It then levelled out for about a mile and a half and then we had to climb again for the remaining one or two miles. In total, about 6 miles horizontally and 1 mile vertically. It was tough. Especially since today was also the hottest day of the week, despite the promise of rain. Oh wait, there was rain on the way down, so that was kind of okay. Why did we do this pointlessly long and difficult task? Well, there were a bunch of waterfalls, and my camera was itching to get out of its pocket. Need I say more? I'm sure I'll share the pictures at some point. I've already promised to share pictures. It was a pretty cool trek, to say the least. I almost died on the way up. For the first time in my life I noticed the difference in oxygen levels. When I reached the top (a lofty 2500m) I tried to suck in air, but barely anything went in. I looked below and saw trees. I looked around at my level and saw dust and grass. Sure, the air wasn't thin enough to cause any sort of harm to me, and I certainly didn't have altitude sickness, but I was only breathing in about half of the oxygen I usually have. The air was just so still. I realised that this was why even after sitting down for 20 minutes I hadn't yet caught my breath. The 6 miles and 1 mile downwards wasn't difficult at all though. My legs were aching and wobbling because of the steepness, but they wanted to keep moving until level ground could be found. It was rare. Still, there were beavers on the way down, which were cool. Interestingly, today was also the start of the American festival here in Samoens, and we got to listen to some American folk French music. Confused? So was I. I recognised the tune to Somewhere Over the Rainbow but then they started singing French. The only English words were "somewhere over the rainbow" because I assume the translation is stupid. They also did Blue Swede Shoes, These Boots Were Made for Walking (or whatever the actual title is), and other traditional Country and Western songs in their strange English/French concoction that they had thought up. Weird. However, aside from the live band, there was also a live weirdo who chucks things in the air off strings and expects people to pay attention to him. They were not. So aside from the traditional live weirdo, and the traditional live band, there was also a traditional semi-live drunk person who tottered about the place, bumping into people and trying to copy the live line dancing. But guess what there was aside from all of that. Yeah, you guessed it, a live spit-roast! Wow! An actual live dead cow on an actual live spit about to be cooked - live! I bet you don't see that live everyday.
Live spit-roasting, live!
Samedi
Oh just eugh. I couldn't be bothered to get up, I couldn't be bothered to walk, and I certainly wasn't bothered to do another day of being completely and utterly exhausted. Luckily we decided to do pretty much nothing today, so that was okay. We went up to Samoens 1600 and looked around a bit and then came back down for lunch and then just walked along the river for a while until we headed back to the apartment to do nothing and write this blog post. If anything interesting happens tonight then I shall stick it in the very next sentence, otherwise I'm just going to sign off here and hope you all had a lovely week without me, trust me I've missed you all. Okay, you know how the other day I said I had instantly fallen in love? Scratch that, this is five times better. Mainly because there were five times the most gorgeous women I had ever met ever. They were the band that were playing tonight for the American festival. At first I thought, "Well they're 5 of the 8 attractive women in France right there," but then they started talking and I realised that they weren't French at all. They were Czech. Fire up the Hutchmobile, chaps, we're going to the Czech Republic! They came down off the stage at one point and I managed to get in a couple of words, like everyone else was trying to do.
French person: eh bonjour!
Me: Hi!
Inside Voice: I speak English! Talk to me!
Most gorgeous girl in the world ever 1: *gasp* You speak English?
Me: Yeah well...
Inside Voice: Marry me. Immediately.
Wrist: I can do it. Just let me go and I can get to those boobs.
Inside Voice: Shut it! You'll ruin everything!
Most gorgeous girl in the world ever 2: would you like us to sign CD for you?
Me: Ah, I'm afraid I didn't bring my wallet with me.
Most gorgeous girl in the world ever 1: Well we can't let him go away with nothing.
Most gorgeous girl in the world ever 2: No no, we can't.
Inside Voice: You're right. A sixsome is definitely a good idea. Let's go.
They then both proceeded to give me a quick peck on the cheek before they bounced off to do this to other men who speak English. Damn. Damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn. It was damn good. Damn damn good good damn good damn damn. Good. I miss them already. I met the five most beautiful girls in the world and they're just gone now. They sang Cotton Eyed Joe in Czech as well, which was really cool and a YouTube video will be coming your way soon when I update the posts with all of the pictures that I'm going to upload soon enough.
Cor.
Phwoar.
Screw me sideways and upside down.
Yeah, play that piano together.
That's just fine.
Because of these Czech girls, I've decided that having a barn dance at some point in the near future is at least the best idea ever. And there'll be none of Dallamore's really old relatives there either to ruin it, so it'd be great! So yeah, you up for it?
Anyway, this was the best way to end a holiday ever. Ever ever. I've never had a better ending. Five amazingly beautiful Czech girls on stage playing country and western songs. And fireworks. There were fireworks too.
If anything happens tomorrow on the way home then I'll update this post, but let's just assume that I'm done here. Ciao! Oh wait, that's Italian... Well fuck it, I'm not saying it in French. Sbohem! (That's Czech by the way. I'm so learning it now.)
No comments:
Post a Comment