Camp Brooke Weston

AKA, Berlin 2010
Where do I start?
From the beginning of course

Day 1 - Fucking EasyJet
After an enjoyable bus journey we got to Luton and waited around for like 5 hours before the crew of the plane got off right in front of us and the announcement basically said "Crew fucked off, your flight is cancelled". So we waited around for like another 3 hours before we finally decided to organise transport to the hotel that EasyJet booked out for us to get like 3 hours of sleep. During this waiting time we set up Camp Brooke Weston, which was of course deadly fun, and also did laps of the airport, in true fashion.

Day 2 - Progress
At 4 in the morning we stood in another fucking queue for a flight that guess what, didn't go to Berlin. Saving the upcoming details we flew to Dortmund, about 300 miles away from Berlin. Now, I've always been like "I've never actually experienced EasyJet ripping me off and sending me to somewhere that isn't my destination" but it looks like they held true to their word. So, we arrived in Dortmund and booked a train to Berlin. Two amusing trips, several more Camp Brooke Westons later and we were in Berlin. Firstly we were greeted with the Hauptbahnhof, which is simply epic, both in size and in awesomeness. Check out my Facebook in a small amount of time to view this awesomeness. Then a wild Janina appeared, *Pokémon battle music ensues*, and then we wandered the streets of Berlin for a while, managing to find a Pregnant Oyster and the hunting grounds-turned into a park. Then we went to the Alexanderplatz, which has a nice view of the epic Fernsehturm, and the Weltzeituhr (the world clock). Then we met up with the families. They seemed all right. Then I and Josh noticed that our host wasn't there. We were taken back to our building by Dukey and Joe's host, who seemed perfectly nice with a sense of humour. Then we met our host. I was extremely disappointed. When I read "family Kohlberg" on the sheet, I was thinking young family with a hot daughter of whom I could fornicate with, but no, they gave us a retired couple who stick to the rules and don't like conversation. Yippee. After dinner and shower, we were basically told to get some sleep, and while yes, we were tired, I wasn't so tired that I wanted to go to sleep at 7. I was annoyed.

Day 3 - Let's restore some order
After breakfast we met the others in our building downstairs at a perfectly reasonable, but freaking early, time of 07:45, and then we got the bus straight to Oranienburger Tor. After grabbing some drinks from the local corner shop, we waited outside the school to be told by Herr Nicholls that we were, in fact, half an hour early. He then showed us a newspaper clipping, detailing the cancellation of EasyJet flights. Yeah, fuck you, EasyJet, our plight ended up in the paper. We then met Sven, who is a little fruity, and we did 3 hours of German, which was incredibly exhausting. After this we met up with Herr Nicholls and Janina, and then he said "Okay, we'll meet you at the DDR museum in a couple of hours," and off we went, into the city to do stuff. I, Josh, Joe and Dukey found a wild Janina, and we headed towards the DDR museum, and along the way we found an Amplemann restaurant, and the image of that restaurant amazed us. In front of it was an ice-cream stand, and it had an Amplemann surfer on it! And next to it were sunbeds with Amplemann covers on them! We then got some kebabs, which were delicious, and went into one of the many shopping centres, I believe this one was the Kudam, and in it was the first Amplemann shop, which we decided to buy little to nothing from, since it was bloody expensive. We then went to the DDR museum, and learned all about East Germany, and how the Berlin was laid out, and lots more interesting things. After the DDR museum we had circle time to discuss how the rest of the week should look. We then made the decision to not return to our families for the evening meal, and when Herr Nicholls went off to phone our hosts, we devised a plan to make Herr Nicholls an Amplemann tie, seeing as he had been talking to us about how for five years he has been looking for one. The tie would be paid for using Germany's efficient bottle disposal system, called Pfand, in which you get given money back on your bottle purchase if you return the bottle. And thus it was so. After more exploring we went on a boat trip, which was simply fantastic. Three hours of Eis, messing around and taking ridiculous photos of one-another. Ahhh. We then returned to our host families at like half ten and showered and slept.

Day 4 - Lots of Sun
So we started the day at the Brandenburg Gate, and then we found the balcony from which Michael Jackson dangled his baby, and then we had a photo-session, and then we walked to the Reichstag, which had a three hour queue, so we back-tracked to the Brandenburg Gate to do other stuff. We walked to the British Embassy, which was naturally super awesome, but we couldn't go in. We then made our way round to the holocaust museum, which was the most depressing and upsetting place I've ever been to. Several of us broke down into tears. Even the super racism of Dukey and Josh was suppressed. After the museum was the memorial, again very peaceful, despite Dukey's want to mess around and immediately cheer up. The designer was frequently asked "what does it mean?" "it means whatever you want it to mean" and I have discovered its meaning. It's laid out in a grid, which represents the organisation in which the holocaust happened. They were grouped, put into lines, always had to be evenly spaced etc. The blocks were of different sizes, meaning that it doesn't matter who you were, if you were a Jew, you were going to be put into a death camp. The smaller blocks could, of course, represent children, and people often sit on the smaller blocks. What else is there to say about that? We then returned to the flat for a Spaghetti dinner, which was delicious, and then we went on our first Pfand run. We made more than 6 Euros, purely from bottles. Each bottle gives about 15-25 cents, to put things in perspective. We then went to the Potsdamerplatz, where there was a fountain, and of course everyone had to mess around in the fountain. I decided not to, and then Caitlin and Tom appeared, and Tom went in the fountain, so I got to chat to Caitlin, who is super hot. After everyone arrived, a few people decided to watch Shrek 3, which I thought would be a complete waste of time, so I went shopping instead with everyone else. Yes, beneath the Potsdamerplatz is a shopping complex, about the same size as three Newlands, which is small for a shopping centre in Berlin. We found another Amplemann shop, and this time decided to shop there. At nine we returned to Herr und Frau Nicholls, and then sat down for a few drinks with them. At 2145 he told us to go home, but Josh had not returned from the film, so I had to wait. Then, a wild Josh appeared *Pokémon battle music* and we ran to the train we needed to catch. For the first time in the trip he took us the wrong way, and it was my awesomeness that led us to the correct train, where the rest of Camp Brooke Weston were, with one minute to spare. We got home at 2245 and showered and slept.

Day 5 : Janina in a Cage
After an amusing day at school we went to the Berlin Wall museum, which was the worst laid out place in the world. The English translations were terrible. But it told a gazillion different escape stories, all of which were amazing. One story was of a woman who escaped in two suitcases, her husband stowed her in the boot of his car and off they went. Other stories of home-made helicopters, planes and balloons were particularly amazing. One that I thought didn't get enough credit though, was the story of two men who built two plane-like vehicles in West Berlin, flew over to the East twice to rescue their friends. During every flight they got shot at. Now that just screams "you've got balls". Oh, before this bit, however, we locked Janina in a cage for funsies, because we're awesome people. After that we went to the Gedaechniskirche, which comprises of the old tower that only just survived the flattening of Berlin in WWII, and next to it a new church which is blue inside, and is very nice to sit in and just be there. Dukey and Josh managed to not catch fire either, god just must have been happy to see me. Then we went to the KaDeWe, which is basically Harrods on steroids. 7 floors of expensive stuff. Jesus Christ. After that we went to the very first train U-Bahnhof built in Berlin. My god it's old. We used the very same escalators that were used in the 1800s. We made our way to our next meeting point near the Coffin Shop we were going to eat in. We sang "Why are we waiting" when Herr Nicholls turned up later, and we were amused. We got to the restaurant and did the usual restaurant stuff. Herr Nicholls told us stories, Tom ate everyone's dinner, and we had a general laugh.

Day 6 : A Barbecue to Remember
Did school as normal, but this time Maire had a panic attack and went to hospital. After that we had two hours before we had to meet Herr Nicholls, so we got his tie from the shirt printing shop and then the girls went off somewhere, so we decided to go off somewhere too. That somewhere ended up being a gypsy market with loads of cool artwork. We then went to the Staasi museum, where this huuuuuuge guy told us all about the Staasi and the various things they did to people, as well as the lengths they went to to find people who even doubted the stability of the DDR. Here's something interesting, the German Democratic Republic was not a republic, nor was it a democracy (it was communist) and it was barely even German (it was Russian). We then went to the Barbecue von Janina, which was damn awesome. We popped some beers together, in the traditional fashion, and then tucked in to some Wurst, chicken and steak. Delicious. We then had our final stroll back to the flats and went to bed.

Day 7 : The End of all Things Deutsch
We got up at the ridiculous time of 6, and met up with the entirety of Camp Brooke Weston under the Weltzeituhr before getting on the train to the Shoenefeld Flughafen. The journey there was amusing, and upon arrival we got through check-in in about five minutes. Everything was going incredibly smoothly. It continued to go incredibly smoothly in fact. The only thing that went wrong was Dukey losing his ticket and having to get another one printed off. He is a complete tit. After that we were in England to have an amusing bus trip home. Then we were home.

So yes, quite an adventure we had.
Definitely the best week out of England I've ever ever had, and I'll make sure I return.
Until next time, readers