My New House

On Friday (the 14th) I moved into my new house, and it's surprisingly big and spacious for a student house. Well, a student house in Leicester. The weekend in Leicester was great fun. I got to see people again, go on the radio and have a good laugh with the peeps and generally I came to understand what life would be like this year, with my new house and my new role in Demon TV.

The house, however, does have its problems.

I was just settling in, you know, finding the comfortable spots, picking my room, when I realised that a bulb had been broken in the room that I wanted. I found another room, which was practically the same but with the wrong plug layouts (trust me, plug layouts are important in a room) and so I stole the light bulb from there. Now, this being a particularly tall building, I had to stand on the bed to reach the light bulb, and it was an "only just" deal. Either way, taking the bulb out wasn't all that difficult. However, when I went back downstairs to put it in the empty bulb socket... if that's what it's called... and well, things got aggravating.

MOTHER FUCKING LIGHT BULB!

I was perched on the edge of my bed trying to get the damn lightbulb into the socket, but it just would not go in! I'm sure at least eight of you made a "that's what she said" joke. And now the rest of you have. Good, I'm glad we got that out of the way. Okay, she'd never say that. That one didn't even make sense. MOVE ON!

Okay, balance... balance... tease it in... TEASE IT! Why do light bulb shades have to get in the way so much? It's making this at least three times harder. POOF. Aha! By bending the shade outwards you can take it off its frame! How clever. Aw... but now there's really thick dust everywhere. God damn it. This better make it easier to... tease it... GOD DAMN IT.

I lost my balance all too often trying to do this. I almost decided that it wasn't worth living in this room with the correct plug socket placement, but I powered through, determined to get this damn light bulb in the damn bulb socket. I tried to find steadier alternatives, like my wheelie chair, which of course was a stupid idea because desk chairs aren't stable at all. I then moved the desk and put it next to my bed, stood on top and finally put the damn light bulb in the damn bulb socket.

FINALLY. Now I just have to put the shade back on. Okay, fold it forwards, the opposite of what you accidentally did before. It's easy. It's supposed to be easy. Why would be harder this way? That's just stupid. I SAID THAT'S JUST STUPID. THAT'S YOUR CUE TO WORK. THANK YOU. Ah... job done... Aside from all the dust that's now all over my room. Sigh. To the hooving machine!

Well after that was done, I made my bed, which was easy and then sat down to watch some Avatar, finish filming Entry #56 of Granite Moths and then render the bastard, ready to upload. I'm also reading Halo Glasslands at the moment, and if you're anticipating the release of Halo 4, I definitely recommend giving it a go since it'll explain some of the things that were unexplained prior to seeing the footage. Questions such as why the Elites would try to kill you despite the alliance that was formed during Halo 3. And I'll leave it at that to avoid spoilers. It's really interesting, and at least a million times better than the piss-poor effort Eric Nylund made of authoring his books. The stories were fine, but the writing style was so bad that I just had to read the summaries of his books on the Halo wiki. Also, if you did read Eric Nylund's books, Glasslands also picks up where Ghosts of Onyx left off. Eric Nylund was originally supposed to write this new trilogy of books, but Karen Traviss expressed interest and 343 picked the better option. Anyway, this has nothing to do with my moving in.

The light in the kitchen is one of those fluorescent strips that takes forever to turn on, and so soon I gave up using it and decided to navigate using the light of the lounge and the pantry. This turned out to be a bad idea.

Eugh, a patch of this rug is damp. But I didn't spill anything... what is that? It feels a bit like slime... Maybe someone spilled some Fairy liquid or something. I'd better turn on the light and check it out. Click.... ... ... Come on... and light! Okay, let's see what this- ah a slug! How the fuck did that get in here? Probably lived under the sink for a while. Alright, well, you're not staying in here. Out the door you go. And... fling! Man, looks like that guy didn't train to be a pilot.

I thought the slug problem had been dealt with, but when I returned later that evening to get a drink, apparently I was proven wrong.

Man, I love that Jon refrigerates filtered water. It just makes juice taste a little bit nicer. And it's cold, which is a squelch. Squelch? OH MOTHER FUCKING SLUGS! That's it, I'm leaving! You can stew there. I hope you like the taste of sole, dick hole. You can sit there and die. Normally I don't let creatures suffer, but you have entered my domain, and therefore new rules apply. Dickhead.

When I returned the next morning, all slug activity seemed to have vanished, but even so my footing was careful. That said, when I looked later on with James, the slugs had apparently multiplied and grown. I think I may have started a war with the slugs by injuring one of their princes or something. I don't fucking know. Either way we're eradicating them one way or another. It's not racist, trust. Slugs live in damp burrows and stuff. I think.  Either way, they don't live in people house. People live in people houses. You know what you can legally do in America if someone unlawfully intrudes on your property? Shoot them in the face. Same rules apply to slugs. And I've got a pellet or two for them. Hahaha, pellet. See that's funny, because you kill slugs with slug pellets, but shotguns use pellets as well. Whoa, hahah. Fricking comedy genius right here.

Uh, yeah, anyway. This weekend has been well fun, but now the countdown to the end of the summer has begun with my final week in Kettering. Dun dun dunnn....

Pete out.