So the week began with some trains and with some planes and with some ... automobilanes and soon we were at our desired location. A cottage in the middle of Fuckknowswhere. You may be thinking that Gaelic sounds like a bit of a harsh language, seeing as one of its towns is called Fuckknowswhere, but the truth is that I made up that name. It's not real. The town we were closest to was called Cahersiveen. The reason I made up a place name is because we were not in that town, and were in fast surrounded by fields. But that's what Ireland is all about in my opinion, fields and niceness and the kindest people on the face of the planet and majestic views and sparkling seas and a proverbial fuck-load of cows. Like, a metric fuck-ton of cows. You see a field? You see a cow. You see a house? There are cows next to it. In the middle of town? There's a cow effigy. Like, the only place that they like cows more is India. A by shit do they love cows. I certainly hope that their milk tastes nicer, or all that worshipping cow nonsense will have been for nothing.
Either way, let's talk about the holiday. The first day was very much just settling in, finding out where everything was, annoying each other by moving stuff around. In one circumstance moving my entire bed to another realm of existence. Moving Joe's clothes and forming them into a creepy-looking doll.
And you know what makes holidays all the more worthwhile? Pictures. Like, fucking loads of pictures. The best pictures, however, can only be formulated by visiting the most beautiful places.
This is where we went to on our first day. It was literally just a beach five minutes down a dirt track from our accommodation, but Jesus Titty Christ look at those marvellous images. Even the keenest of eyes and the snappiest of fingers couldn't have taken pictures better than those. Maybe if I owned a DSLR... but still, I owe it all to the magnificent surroundings.
And, as ever, my quest to find the world's most amazing sunsets (tied in with my quest to take a picture of a sunset everywhere I go) continues:
Now that's the best I've had in a while. Perfectly silhouetting the foreground to make the sun the focal point of the image, the mountain gloriously tinted with orange and the clouds just thick enough to amplify the effect of the Sun without impeding the visuals. Damn that's a good sunset.
On our travels, we also met a ridiculously photogenic dog:
He's just so photogenic! Ridiculously so!
So on the ... Monday we went to Velentia Island for a little while because we were told it was a good idea, and over there we saw a pub hotel, some ocean and some people in a death-trap. I mean a water trampoline. There was also the option to go suiciding. I mean kayaking. But it turned out that all of these death-related, I mean water-related activities started the next week, and the only reason that these morons, I mean people, were in the water on the deathpoline was because they'd booked it. That was a shame, because I really felt like drowning this week.
You may be noticing my negative outlook towards water-related activities. Boats are fine. Boats are essentially an extension of land, but instead of it being stationary, it takes you from one piece of land to another. This brings me on to my second point. We have this wonderful thing called land, where we get to be dry, and our feet are on the floor, and the largest and deadliest creatures are bears. And it's really easy to control the bear population. Underneath the water's surface, there is another entire world that is just waiting to eat us. There are things like sharks, killer whales, jellyfish, giant squid, and creatures that can theoretically live forever. Like lobsters. On the surface, they just seem like large crustaceans, but if you go deep enough, there may well be a lobster the size of your house. That's another thing, on land our feet are on the ground and we can't die, but in the water, who knows what could happen? A rip current could drag you out, make you tired, punch you in the face and then you drown. Swimming in the ocean is completely overrated.
Anyway, back to Ireland. Crabs.
Oh, and capturing rays of sunshine.
My argument for Ireland being the best place ever grows stronger.
Anyway, on ... a day we hired some bikes and found a castle. But here's another picture that is awesome just before we get to that.
Anyway, Ballycarbery Castle.
Pretty cool, right? But then it started raining. And rained it did hard. So we high-tailed it back to our cottage as fast as we could. It was fucking wet. We were fucking wet. It's the kind of wet that takes two days to dry. And I wasn't wearing waterproofs. Dun dun dunn.
Uh, but yeah, my pictures have run out apart from the ones that I took on the plane, and I'm sure you've seen the generic out-of-the-window-from-the-inside-of-the-plane picture before.
So that concludes my trip to Ireland. If you feel that you have been sufficiently informed of my holiday, then go and have a bagel in my honour. If you do not, then eat something you don't like. Like lettuce. Nobody actually likes lettuce. Eat lots of lettuce. Just pick up some leaves, and eat them. Don't do it maliciously, just do it because I told you to and because this post has actually been very informative so there.
It was a bloody good trip, though.
Pete out.
No comments:
Post a Comment