Salute to Stupidity 8

Peter Hutchinson to Peter Duke
In a world where time is infinite and our movement is perceived as either infinitely fast or infinitely slow, when getting from one place to another can happen instantly or take an age, in this world it would be acceptable for you to delay doing and sending me Intermission, since release dates wouldn't matter. Everything would be released at the same time an in intervals and also randomly. However, in this world we have to keep to schedules. You've got two days before I fire you.

Peter Duke: Why does the Anti-XFactor Christmas song have to be Nirvana? Can't it be... I dunno... A Christmas song? Slade maybe? Or Let it Snow? Something like that?
Peter H: We should get Little Donkey to the top.
Peter Duke: WE should record it. No no no, it needs to not be a faith thing.
Peter H: You want a Christmas song not about faith? Dude, A: It's a fucking donkey. B: The Romans made the Christmas holiday to join the celebration of the birth of Christ, note: CHRIST, and the winter solstice. It's a flipping holiday centred around FAITH, you close-minded knob-rocket.
Peter Duke: I didn't mean it like that, I meant if it's not about faith, then people from every faith will buy it... not just Christians... (oh he did so not get my point)
Peter H: Then I won't mention to you a good, nay massive, proportion of the world's population is then. But after seeing your point, that's fine. I just want you to see what an idiot you are. So in that case, let's just get Nirvana to the top. Oh wait...
Peter Duke: Let it snow works fine. Or Band Aid, that's about Christmas TIME (again, so not getting my point. If you want to avoid faith, Dukey, you have to call it Winter Holidays like the Americans do. God, you're such a crap atheist) not Christmas itself.
Peter H: No it's not? Band aid is something you use to seal wounds... Bazinga.
Josh: Let's get Walkin' on Sunshing to the top. (Good effort, Josh)

Josh: Are you excited about Nickleback?
Peter H: Not really. Me and new music are like chocolate and steak.
Josh: Best kept off the same plate. Or you both come from Germany.
Peter H: What? Chocolate is Aztec [citation needed]... never mind. But yeah, I do old music. Music like the Rolling Stones, Beethoven's Fifth, Mozart's Twinkle Twinkle. Yeah, you get me.

Alannah: Wish the cool owl outside my window would be quiet for 5 minutes so I can sleep =)!
Peter H: Is he cool because he's wearing sunglasses despite it being dark and because he stuck his middle feather up at you when you told him to be quiet?
Alannah: Haha, no! He is an awesome colour! And not many people have an owl that lives outside their window =) xox
Peter H: You're right. Wish I had an owl. (It's true. I fantasized about having an owl during every French lesson back in year 8 at Brooke Weston). Have you given it a name yet? I think Stephen would be a great name for it, if it were male of course.
Alannah: It's called Wilbert... He looks like a Wilbert =) xox
Peter H: Well it's your owl so I can't judge your poor owl-naming skills.
Alannah: Haha!! It's a wicked name!! So is!! xox
Peter H: S'alright, I guess. But I think we should ask Stephen which name he prefers. And if says, "My name is Bridget," then we'll both be wrong and that'll be that.
Alannah: Haha, so you are naming my owl Stephen? His name is Wilbert, simples =P xox
Peter H: Between you and me, I actually preferred the name Wilbert the moment you said it, but that would make me appear weak, which is why no one can know.
Alannah: Haha, yet you have just posted it on my Facebook status! Haha!! Win win for me!! =) xox
Peter H: Ah hell! You're too cunning for me, Miss Vient.
Alannah: Muah ha ha!! xox

I think I do fixate on owls a little bit much. Do you remember the one about the owl and the crow?

I'm also noticing that I seem to be the focus of hilarity in these Salutes. Hmm... Oh well, I think that just accurately reflects on what kind of a person that I am. Hilarious.

Peter Duke: Get on the right side of the bloody road (see, this quote is stupid because the French do drive on the right), you Gallic fucking garlic bread tossers!
Peter H: Hey, hey, hey! If we're going to insult the French then at least acknowledge the fact that they have done nothing of note for the last hundred years, and that the only thing they can remember how to do effectively is not do a single solitary day's worth of hard work in their entire lives. And you know what? If someone French is reading this and feels insulted, bring it. You hop on over the channel, which will cost you precious time, time in which you could be on the streets outside your office complaining that it smells a little bit like cheese and onion pasties, and then you come and punch me. I feel safe in the knowledge that there is one good reason as to why the French won't invade us. And I've already explained it.
Peter Duke: ^ has never watched Eurotrip. (What's Eurotrip? Is it a car show?)

You remember the video I'm so Ashamed? Here are some of the responses:
Lauren: Literally so much love for this video!! Had me in absolute stitches!!
Sophia: I was kind of half-watching it because I'd already read the blog post and just heard you go "the guy that was doing the photographer." Yeah, so that plus naked photo shoot and my imagination was going places I really didn't want it to go!

Oh, I just found one of my favourite jokes of all time. I physically chuckle every time I read it.

Peter H: ‎Stanley Ashton, Ben 'Ahmed' Cotton, James Langley, Alannah Vient Just read the minutes from the last meeting, and I couldn't help but wonder what on Earth a naked colander is. Is it a colander that just has one massive hole? ... Well I thought it was funny.
Alannah: You... haha, that made me giggle! At least I can publicly admit I liked it! =D! x
Langley: I was waiting for someone else to comment.
Stan the Man with a Plan: ok thanks guys its good know face book will tell of mistakes that are made :) (for your amusements, I deliberately left the mistakes in that paragraph. Usually I correct them for my comfort, but this time I thought I'd treat you)
Peter H: I'm not gonna lie, I chuckle every time I read it. It's a brilliant joke, it must be said.

Let's see if I've got any more of these crackers lying around. Just the one.

Peter H: As Head of Production for Demon TV, I'm always finding new and interesting ways for technology to piss me off.

I feel like that's a good one-liner to end on.

Cliché out.