My Ham Sandwich

So yesterday I was talking in my uni blog about how social networking sites are used, and I think I came up with an amazing analogy. To demonstrate this, let me give you an example of how a story can be told on each sharing site.

Facebook status update: I have just eaten a ham sandwich. It was delicious. *Three of your friends like this*

Twitter Tweet: I'm eating a #hamsandwich. *Retweeted several times*

Tumblr post: I just ate the most glorious ham sandwich, here is a picture of a ham sandwich from the internet.

Blogger post: Let me tell you about the ham sandwich that I just ate. It all started when I woke up this morning and ate a bowl of cereal. I then took the dog for a walk and saw a man dressed like a lemon. I asked this man why he was dressed like a lemon and he gave me a sour look. That was a pun. I then went home and thought ... (and so on)

But of course, this is a blogger post, so let's not leave it there.

By the way, this is not a true story.

Let me tell you about the ham sandwich that I just ate. It all started when I woke up this morning and ate a bowl of cereal. This was odd for me because I do not like cereal, however my craving for Golden Grahams was just too much to handle.

Anyway, I then took the dog for a walk and came across a man dressed like a lemon. I asked this man why he was dressed like a lemon and he gave me a sour look. Badum pun.

Upon returning to the establishment in which I live, I thought about what I would have for lunch. It then struck me like a leopard strikes a bandoleer when he's being an arsehole. And the bandoleer in question was being an arsehole of the highest orders. Three arseholes were given to the elves, the wisest and fairest of all middle earth's beings. Seven were given to the dwarf lords, and then nine. Nine arseholes were given to the men, whose lust for power was only matched by their greed. But my shit, this guy was like, the Lord of the Arseholes. He was the One Arsehole to rule them all. One arsehole to find them. One arsehole to bring them all, and in the darkness, bind them!

But yeah, I've gone horrendously off-topic. I think that's also the rudest tangent I've ever made. It originally had the word cunt in it, but excessive use of it proved too much for even I to handle. Arsehole isn't much better though. It's still very, very crass.

Anyway, I had a thought about the sandwich I would eat, and it hit me like a runaway convict hits a prostitute before taking her winnings for the night. I say winnings, but if you're being paid to have sex with Louis, the overweight lowest-ranking member of the local Mafia, you're a loser really.

Anyanyway, the idea came to me. The tasty, and yet humble ham sandwich. Majestic, delicious, and simple. Two slices of bread, a bit of butter and a slice of pig in the middle. Arguably the most popular sandwich known to mankind. Also the most commonly made sandwich of womankind.

So yeah, that's social networking and the story of a ham sandwich.

Pete out.