I'm actually pretty drunk right now.
The reston?
I mean uh... the reason?
Well, I went to the pub, and then I went to the bluc. I mean club. That's what I mean.t Honest.
I'm actually being honest though. You don't even have to id me or nothing' for it.
Ah man, I can't hear a fucking thing.
But even so, I have completely deduced that going to clubs isn't like the best or idea or nthing or nothign. It's stupid, really. It's exactly as I predicted. it was only really worth going to see Ben Cotton get dunked into a ... tank of water? Yeah, I suppose it was that. I didn't have my glasses on, and they wouldn't have really made a different because it was fucking dark. You know that kind of dark where you can kind of see because there are multicoloured beams of light flashing across your vision every second or so? Yeah, that kind of vision. Felt a bit light daredevil, really. Except if Davedevil went to a club, he'd be fucked.
Anyway, it was the Demon Media social event. Tha'ts why I'm deaf and drunk. Because what's more sociable than getting a little bit drunk in a pub, going to a club, drinking while being deafened, then pretend like you can dance on the dance floor for a while, all the while continuing to be deafened and then being compeltely bombarded every second by people who don't knwo the meaning of the word "exucse me?"
I suppose excuse me is two words. I also suppose I wouldn't have heard them anyway because my bat senses weren't tingling.
You know why they weren't tingling? Because I couldn't hear anything.
If I want to keep my bat senses tingling, then I'm going to have to not attend one of these "club" thigns that you kids like so much very often.
Anyway.
Hah! I called him Davedevil! What a fun parody of Daredevil that would be. Instead of him being a superhero who has super hearing and ultra-mega reflexes, he's just a regular guy called Dave who has super mega hearing and awesome reflexes. He just uses them to get along with his daily life really. He doesn't want any fuss. He's just a Davedevil.
So. Bosoms. Pretty cool, eh?
Ben Cotton got dunked. Did I mention that?
Oh, I could become a DSU exec by default if I sign up to be ah fuck my ears are ringing. Anyway, I could be ... fuck, what was it? The head of Production at Demon TV. That's it. I'd be the one in-charge of cameras and stuff and cool and I get my own office and a gold card which gives me free admission into Level 1 at the DSU! How awesome and cool is that? That's pretty awesome and cool. Cool and awesome.
Oh fuck! I have a lecture in the morning. Wait, now I don't. Ahh, you see what I did there? I made an executive decision, necause of course I could be a DSU executive soon, to not wake up in the morning, and therefore I can't possibly have a lecture at that time because I'll be asleep.
Oops. I'm starting to sober up a little, and I'm realising that I'd made a duck load of spelling and grammar errors.
Althoguh on the other hand, [redacted] is fucking hot.
Okay, I'm sober enough to redact things that could get me into trouble. A little bit.
Anyway, why do only fools and horse work balalala. Balalala la. Lalala lala. Lalalala la. Badadada. Badadada da.
Uh... Oh, I'm pretty sure I didn't get that job I was hoping to get so that sucks.
Other than that, [redacted]'s true identity is... ahhh! Got you.
God I shouldn't be pushing buttons like that. I know I'll regret it tomorrow when I get one quadrillion thousand million hundred billion messages asking me about it.
That number is so real.
Pete out.
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