Salute to Stupidity: Polar Bears and Rent

I'm just going to go ahead and copy and paste a conversation that Lyn and I had the other day. While she was gone, I went a bit mad.

Vivialyn Joynson: I love polar bears!
Peter Hutchinson: and that's all the polar bears want really. The only reason people think they're being attacked is because the polar bears just want to hug everyone
Vivialyn Joynson: Hahah
Peter Hutchinson: and then they get angry when they're rejected
Vivialyn Joynson: Poor polar bears :(
Peter Hutchinson: They're very jealous animals. And their home is being repossessed. You thought it was global warming
Vivialyn Joynson: My mum's just got home, I'll be right back
Peter Hutchinson: Okay, I'll carry on with my polar bear story
Vivialyn Joynson: Although I'm not gonna risk giving you a time frame cus I probably won't stick to it this time :P And okay, I'll definitely read it when I get back :P
Peter Hutchinson: Awesome. So yeah, it's not global warming that's destroying their homes. See, whales are actually the landlords of the seas and the polar bears just haven't been able to keep up with the rent. Because you know, a giant sheet of prime real estate ice in the middle of the northern hemisphere is very expensive to maintain and they keep having to repair the icebergs that break off. It's just one thing after another. The polar bears don't really have a chance. The penguins are trying to help. But it's the whole moving thing. The whales would get pissed off if the polar bears tried to move to the south pole. They've even gone as far as grounding all of the polar bear planes until the rent has been paid. So it's just one big circle. The polar bears couldn't move even if they get evicted.  You could say that we could help them, but we don't have any polar currency. No one knows what it is. The whales won't let us bank with them. This is also why our economy is broken. Whales are really good with money. Like, better than the swiss. This might make the whales look like bad people, but they're endangered; they've got to look after their investments. And this is why everyone in the world needs to learn to like each other.

Sorry if there's like a billion grammatical errors in there and some of it didn't make much sense; it was copied and pasted from a Skype conversation so I had to convert talking into sentences, and that can be difficult sometimes.

Either way, I thought it was quite amusing, and so did Lyn. For those of you who don't know Lyn, she plays Tessica in Entry #52 of the popular web-series, Granite Moths, and I must say I regret not finding her sooner because she's like the best actress ever. She's a million times better than any of us and can actually learn lines!

Either way, there's the real story for why Polar Bears are in trouble. Not all this global warming crap that the American government don't do anything about. They know what's really at stake. Obama is in league with the whales.

We must get the whale money.

Pete out.