I had my second exam today. It was in Media.
First Lesson - Revision
I sat the fuck down in the Library and I revised the shit out of audience theories, narrative theories, gender theories, genre theories and then learned all of the dates of significant stuff that happened in the news regarding super injunctions. Fuck to the yeah. I then created a crib sheet of everything I needed to know so that I could know it.
Second Lesson - My Kids
I wasn't prepared to be tolerable of my kids this lesson, on account of the fact that reading for an hour about stuff that I already knew but also -
IT'S FUCKING CULTIVATION THEORY
- I was still recovering from the awful night's sleep I had for the past two days because of the bloody dog half a mile away that doesn't stop whining. If I knew where it lived then I'd help it. Wait, that sentence is a bit fragmented. Yeah, these things made me insanely tired, and so I absolutely did not put up with any of Umat's crap today, simply resorting to shouting at him every time he attempted to say something or do something to someone. But yeah, today was officially Blue Thursday because Courtney said so, so she was at least happy at that. Oh, I should mention that I wore a blue shirt. I spent a good portion of time with Casey because she was alone at her table which meant peace for me to revise a bit. All in all though I had a generally nice time telling off the kids occasionally and generally being impatient with them, but if they were nice to me then I was nice to them, so basically I was absolutely fine if I stayed with either Courtney and her surrounding friends or Casey.
Third Lesson - Exam
Christ this exam was awesome. Like, you know how exams are usually dull and boring and massively destroy every inch of your concentration and murder your brain cells to the point of no return? Yeah, well, this exam pushed my knowledge a bit, but it also unleashed a beast within me. I'll explain that later. First I'd like to talk about the very second thought I had in the exam, which was my wrist going spazzy because I haven't really written in a while. It was like, NOOOO! Wait, I have an amazing idea.
Wrist: NOOOOOO!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!
Inside Voice: ...and my production shares these conventions...
Wrist: Holy fuck no! I can feel myself tearing apart! Recoil, recoil!
Outside Voice: *sharp intake of breath*
Inside Voice: Hey, wrist! Get that pen on the paper and start writing!
Wrist: But it hurts!
Inside Voice: Do it!
Wrist: Okay...
Inside Voice: ... I think that my use of real media texts...
So yeah, pretty cool.
Fourth Lesson - Exam
As I said, this exam was cool. I got to talk about junk and stuff to do with media regulation and how the governments of the world are just shit. It was cool. Like, imagine an exam where you could do one of your daily rants about how shit the government is and how this super injunction thing is ridiculous and all that in an exam. That's pretty damn amazing.
Fifth Lesson - Nothing
For the most part of this lesson we were walking around pissing people off. On a lap a kid dropped his books into me, which was kind of weird. Because he kind of threw them, I didn't help pick them up because I had no responsibility. On the next lap or two, the same kid found some friends and dropped the books again in front of us, so we continued thinking, "what the fuck?" On the lap after that, they dropped them again, so Josh stole some of it and they were annoyed at us. It was their own damn fault. We theorised that it was an experiment to see if people are dickheads or not. Congratulations, idiots, you have successfully concluded that 100% of the population is full of complete dickheads. Anyway, after that we just sat down and Josh talked about his antics with Jehovah's Witnesses. If I wasn't too tired to remember them, then I'd remember them and post them. Maybe I'll do a post about it later.
Anyway, today was pretty cool, as you've surmised. Mr Barrett and Mrs Wright both loved the idea of me coming back in week 8 to do a one-off with the kids to say goodbye and good luck to them, so that'll be interesting.
Now, imagine if you will a slice of bacon. Now imagine a pack of bacon. Now imagine if those slices of bacon had never been seperated so were still just a big slab of meat. That's what I had for dinner. It was fucking delicious.
Also, when I was in Sainsbury's earlier I met the love of the-time-I-was-in-Sainsbury's. She was just perfect. She was pretty, had barely any make-up on, naturally straight hair that obviously hadn't been straightened and she was just... well, I fell in love. And then her boyfriend walked up. Somehow I wasn't disappointed that I would never have a chance to hit on this amazingly awesome girl, probably because the guy looked like just about the most awesome person ever. The person I had just met was a Mod. Joe will appreciate this. He may have been the King of the Mods. Not just some plebian like the Mod wolves, but like he was a Mod. How cool is that? I didn't think that they existed outside the Mighty Boosh, but they really do. This is exactly why I wasn't jealous that I couldn't have this woman, because clearly I can't compete with such a guy.
Anyway, that's it from me. See you when I see you.
P.S. I should really explain why I shouted Cultivation Theory earlier. I'd forgotten what it was called in the exam, and so I've been trying to remember all day what it was, and I have just finally remembered. Cool story, huh?
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