Joe:"That's not nice, Hutch"
Me:"No I know"
Joe: "You're not a nice person sometimes."
Oh, and also that first bit was written before Salute to Stupidity 6, which you can view beneath this post. So don't try and go all continuity error on my ass. It's not cool.
First off I'd like to talk about My Kids. See, yesterday I sent them a message on Facebook exclaiming that I would no longer be coming in to teach them, but I did say that I would be back at some point to say goodbye and good luck to them.
This is what Casey said:
"you'd best be back!"
This is what Bethany said:
"okay :P"
This is what Harry said:
"pppppppeeetttteeeerrrrr :'("
And this is what Courtney said:
"I'm going to Madrid for residential, but if I don't see you anytime before that thank you for everything you've done and I'm sure you'll be missed by all of us although some people may not show it xx"
Aww. Courtney's message was even grammatically correct. It's like she knows.
Anyway, I just thought that was nice. It's just proof that I've made a massive difference to these kids' lives and that they're totally going to be stuck in the mud without me. Oh god, I've made a grave error. I need to save those kids from their own and inevitable demise. Quick, to the Hutchmobile!
[insert picture of the Hutchmobile]
Okay, this hasn't been done yet. Not my fault.
Okay, this hasn't been done yet. Not my fault.
And thus, it is finished.
[insert description of Leachy's party]
You've got it, blog.
Right, Leachy's party. Where do I start? We arrived there at... whatever time past 5 and were the firstish ones there. Oh, I remember now. It was funny because beforehand we were buying Leachy's presents with Josh, Dukey and Laura and they all got in Michael's car (who drives mega fast all the time for everything for no reason) while Joe and I got in Joe's mum's car which she drives using a "brakecellerator". We had to wait about five minutes for Joe's mum, so we were expecting to arrive about half an hour after Josh and the gang. However, we ended up arriving 15 minutes before them. Ahahahahahahahaha. Joe and I laughed.
Anyway, drinking soon started, and from this point on will no longer be remembered in chronological order. Some things I may miss out entirely. It's going to pretty much be the same deal as with mine and Tom's 18th. Okay, so beginning from the middle. I firstly - or secondly - took part in an interesting game of cricket. The stump was a tree and the bat was a large stick. Josh was up on the bat, and I was given the opportunity to throw. I asked the question, "So I'm aiming for that tree, right?" and a bystander said, "Yes" so I threw the ball in the cricket-like way I could muster (which while drunk probably wasn't brilliant) and it hit the tree. People were quite frankly amazed at me. Josh wasn't expecting it at all. I missed the next two completely but I then hit it again on the next try, so in all counts I was just as good at this game as anyone who was sober. Or not. The next - or first - game we played was a great game where you threw a pizza box at a target, and the person furthest away wouldn't get a shot. I was all for this. I lined up my shot, threw the pizza box and was nowhere near the target at all. Not even close. I was the furthest away. I cursed my luck. However, for the remainder of the game I got shots so I was contented. Or just very drunk, hell I don't know. Apparently I hug-attacked Josh's Laura quite a few times, but I would've had reason. Apparently many people tried to prize me off of her at one point, but I didn't stop. Josh then came in with a broom and then apparently we had a fight, which resulted in me getting a bruise next to the bridge of my nose that I didn't knew existed until this morning. I'm almost sure it was all in good fun. I do remember talking plenty of the night away with Becca, so that must have been fine. I should think I was more sober at that point (but forgive my memory - it's not on right now) because I don't think Becca is a massive fan of drunk me, which I kind of like. I do remember her and I dancing though, but she was leading and this confused me massively. It didn't make any sense. I'll admit to you now that I don't know how to dance, but I don't think that gives right for leading me. I need to learn how to dance in order to counteract this. The night happened and was all over in a matter of hours, because the last thing I remember is not thinking that the car was moving fast enough so I told Michael (Laura's brother) to put the "pedal to the metal". Apparently we were already doing over a hundred at that point.
I can draw only one conclusion from this: people like me when I'm drunk so therefore I'm not a good person when sober. People talk about my drunken antics as if they prefer me when I'm drunk. I've got to tell you something, that doesn't sit right with me. Mainly because for 98% of the time I'm sober.
You've got it, blog.
Right, Leachy's party. Where do I start? We arrived there at... whatever time past 5 and were the firstish ones there. Oh, I remember now. It was funny because beforehand we were buying Leachy's presents with Josh, Dukey and Laura and they all got in Michael's car (who drives mega fast all the time for everything for no reason) while Joe and I got in Joe's mum's car which she drives using a "brakecellerator". We had to wait about five minutes for Joe's mum, so we were expecting to arrive about half an hour after Josh and the gang. However, we ended up arriving 15 minutes before them. Ahahahahahahahaha. Joe and I laughed.
Anyway, drinking soon started, and from this point on will no longer be remembered in chronological order. Some things I may miss out entirely. It's going to pretty much be the same deal as with mine and Tom's 18th. Okay, so beginning from the middle. I firstly - or secondly - took part in an interesting game of cricket. The stump was a tree and the bat was a large stick. Josh was up on the bat, and I was given the opportunity to throw. I asked the question, "So I'm aiming for that tree, right?" and a bystander said, "Yes" so I threw the ball in the cricket-like way I could muster (which while drunk probably wasn't brilliant) and it hit the tree. People were quite frankly amazed at me. Josh wasn't expecting it at all. I missed the next two completely but I then hit it again on the next try, so in all counts I was just as good at this game as anyone who was sober. Or not. The next - or first - game we played was a great game where you threw a pizza box at a target, and the person furthest away wouldn't get a shot. I was all for this. I lined up my shot, threw the pizza box and was nowhere near the target at all. Not even close. I was the furthest away. I cursed my luck. However, for the remainder of the game I got shots so I was contented. Or just very drunk, hell I don't know. Apparently I hug-attacked Josh's Laura quite a few times, but I would've had reason. Apparently many people tried to prize me off of her at one point, but I didn't stop. Josh then came in with a broom and then apparently we had a fight, which resulted in me getting a bruise next to the bridge of my nose that I didn't knew existed until this morning. I'm almost sure it was all in good fun. I do remember talking plenty of the night away with Becca, so that must have been fine. I should think I was more sober at that point (but forgive my memory - it's not on right now) because I don't think Becca is a massive fan of drunk me, which I kind of like. I do remember her and I dancing though, but she was leading and this confused me massively. It didn't make any sense. I'll admit to you now that I don't know how to dance, but I don't think that gives right for leading me. I need to learn how to dance in order to counteract this. The night happened and was all over in a matter of hours, because the last thing I remember is not thinking that the car was moving fast enough so I told Michael (Laura's brother) to put the "pedal to the metal". Apparently we were already doing over a hundred at that point.
I can draw only one conclusion from this: people like me when I'm drunk so therefore I'm not a good person when sober. People talk about my drunken antics as if they prefer me when I'm drunk. I've got to tell you something, that doesn't sit right with me. Mainly because for 98% of the time I'm sober.
[insert something else]
Harpreet's Funeral (which isn't as morbid as it sounds) will be fine here, but now I've got to watch a movie with the Brotherhood plus Josh.
Right, yes, as I was saying. Yesterday or today or tomorrow (really can't remember when this post was published first) we all gathered together to celebrate the passing of Harpreet. She's passing from here to Africa in a short while, so we thought we'd all wish her goodbye and good luck on her trek.
Joe, Becca and I decided to walk the 4 mile stint to the local social gathering park. I have thus concluded that Converse shoes are not comfortable enough to do any sort of lengthy trek in. Anyway, when we arrived a small portion of the party was already there, because we were actually 20 minutes late. It wasn't as late as some people though, so it doesn't matter. A short while later Bekah arrived with the coffin cake, which she explicitly stated that she made while completely drunk and therefore had no idea what was in it. It looked fine though, so we were all very proud of her.
Uh...
Okay, my mind is drawing a blank, here. I mean, don't get me wrong, we had fun and we all had a brilliant time and we're all very thankful to Harpreet for putting this event together, but I'm just trying to piece together the bits of the afternoon together into a nice, blog-worthy summary.
My mind is so off today.
The first thing to really happen was to get the BBQ going. This was done with relative ease, so us men tended to it while Bekah organised the teams into teams and made them do some challenges. The first, from what I could tell, was a massive orgy between two teams while the other one judged. That's the impression I got when I looked over. Although when the clock stopped and Bekah started counting upturned plastic plates, I seemed to get the idea. It was one team's job to turn the plates over, and the other team's job to turn them back over. The second game seemed a bit more organised than this, and I actually recorded it for Facebook's pleasure. It still really bugs me how Google thinks that Facebook is a word and blog isn't. Anyway, yeah, the second game involved getting a load of water in a straw and transferring it to a bucket after a short series of obstacles. As ever everyone totally failed at it and they all looked ridiculous. Jed remained the only one to keep his dignity. Although I am certain that Jed's dignity is actually made of granite and is also contained in some kind of moth ... *cough* shameful plug *cough*. After this the food was ready for consumption and it was delicious. Harpreet made a speech that will also be on Facebook maybe if I can be bothered to put it on there which I never am because videos just take the piss to upload, but nonetheless it was short and sweet. The cake then got cut, and it proved to be perfectly edible and quite tasty so well done, Bekah.
Anyway, a short while and a lot of food later and it was time to play some football. We got out on the turf and we kicked that ball around like the ground wasn't soggy and we weren't all in constant danger of slipping to our very imminent deaths. Something like that anyway.
Soon later it was time to pack our gear and head off into the wilderness. Or at least to our homes. It was a wonderful afternoon and I thank Harpreet very much for organising it.
Anyway, just to quickly round the post off. We had our usual gathering of the Brotherhood on that evening of the 28th of June, and Josh decided to join us. Unlike others that we've had over to Brotherhood evenings, Bekah has actually said that she wouldn't mind him round again, so that's all well and good. Congratulations, Josh, you fit in with us. We watched a really interesting film called Capricorn One, which was really shit and cheesey. I did have to congratulate how thought out most of the film was. It progressed quite slowly to begin with, but the plot got deeper and darker at a steady rate leading up to the point that I knew was going to come and then it just went completely tits-up and the rest of the film happened. The ending was absolutely dire though. It's like the script writer died while writing the last scene. I imagine it would've looked like this: "and the protagonist runs towards the ceremony. Slow-motion camera for ... seconds and... then ... ... tell my family that I bleughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... [DNF]".
The reason I write this in was because the latest Marble Hornets had been mentioned several times, and as Joe and I were walking back I stopped him and asked:
Me: "What's that thing over there?"
Joe: "What? What is it?"
Me: "That thing over there look."
*Joe proceeds to clutch my arm*
Joe: "Please tell me what the hell you can see."
Me: "The big box thing with the little lights on it."
*Joe straightens himself out*
Joe: "Oh yeah, those. Yeah, they've been popping up all over the place. They're just things to tell you that you're going to fast or something."
Joe was genuinely terrified of the thing that may or may not have been lurking in the darkness. It was hilarious. I dread to think what was going through his mind as he walked through the various darkened alleyways to his house.
BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ENTRY #43 OF MARBLE HORNETS?!
Harpreet's Funeral (which isn't as morbid as it sounds) will be fine here, but now I've got to watch a movie with the Brotherhood plus Josh.
Right, yes, as I was saying. Yesterday or today or tomorrow (really can't remember when this post was published first) we all gathered together to celebrate the passing of Harpreet. She's passing from here to Africa in a short while, so we thought we'd all wish her goodbye and good luck on her trek.
Joe, Becca and I decided to walk the 4 mile stint to the local social gathering park. I have thus concluded that Converse shoes are not comfortable enough to do any sort of lengthy trek in. Anyway, when we arrived a small portion of the party was already there, because we were actually 20 minutes late. It wasn't as late as some people though, so it doesn't matter. A short while later Bekah arrived with the coffin cake, which she explicitly stated that she made while completely drunk and therefore had no idea what was in it. It looked fine though, so we were all very proud of her.
Uh...
Okay, my mind is drawing a blank, here. I mean, don't get me wrong, we had fun and we all had a brilliant time and we're all very thankful to Harpreet for putting this event together, but I'm just trying to piece together the bits of the afternoon together into a nice, blog-worthy summary.
My mind is so off today.
The first thing to really happen was to get the BBQ going. This was done with relative ease, so us men tended to it while Bekah organised the teams into teams and made them do some challenges. The first, from what I could tell, was a massive orgy between two teams while the other one judged. That's the impression I got when I looked over. Although when the clock stopped and Bekah started counting upturned plastic plates, I seemed to get the idea. It was one team's job to turn the plates over, and the other team's job to turn them back over. The second game seemed a bit more organised than this, and I actually recorded it for Facebook's pleasure. It still really bugs me how Google thinks that Facebook is a word and blog isn't. Anyway, yeah, the second game involved getting a load of water in a straw and transferring it to a bucket after a short series of obstacles. As ever everyone totally failed at it and they all looked ridiculous. Jed remained the only one to keep his dignity. Although I am certain that Jed's dignity is actually made of granite and is also contained in some kind of moth ... *cough* shameful plug *cough*. After this the food was ready for consumption and it was delicious. Harpreet made a speech that will also be on Facebook maybe if I can be bothered to put it on there which I never am because videos just take the piss to upload, but nonetheless it was short and sweet. The cake then got cut, and it proved to be perfectly edible and quite tasty so well done, Bekah.
Anyway, a short while and a lot of food later and it was time to play some football. We got out on the turf and we kicked that ball around like the ground wasn't soggy and we weren't all in constant danger of slipping to our very imminent deaths. Something like that anyway.
Soon later it was time to pack our gear and head off into the wilderness. Or at least to our homes. It was a wonderful afternoon and I thank Harpreet very much for organising it.
Anyway, just to quickly round the post off. We had our usual gathering of the Brotherhood on that evening of the 28th of June, and Josh decided to join us. Unlike others that we've had over to Brotherhood evenings, Bekah has actually said that she wouldn't mind him round again, so that's all well and good. Congratulations, Josh, you fit in with us. We watched a really interesting film called Capricorn One, which was really shit and cheesey. I did have to congratulate how thought out most of the film was. It progressed quite slowly to begin with, but the plot got deeper and darker at a steady rate leading up to the point that I knew was going to come and then it just went completely tits-up and the rest of the film happened. The ending was absolutely dire though. It's like the script writer died while writing the last scene. I imagine it would've looked like this: "and the protagonist runs towards the ceremony. Slow-motion camera for ... seconds and... then ... ... tell my family that I bleughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... [DNF]".
The reason I write this in was because the latest Marble Hornets had been mentioned several times, and as Joe and I were walking back I stopped him and asked:
Me: "What's that thing over there?"
Joe: "What? What is it?"
Me: "That thing over there look."
*Joe proceeds to clutch my arm*
Joe: "Please tell me what the hell you can see."
Me: "The big box thing with the little lights on it."
*Joe straightens himself out*
Joe: "Oh yeah, those. Yeah, they've been popping up all over the place. They're just things to tell you that you're going to fast or something."
Joe was genuinely terrified of the thing that may or may not have been lurking in the darkness. It was hilarious. I dread to think what was going through his mind as he walked through the various darkened alleyways to his house.
BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ENTRY #43 OF MARBLE HORNETS?!
No comments:
Post a Comment