Damn My Blog is Awesome

It is isn't it?
Nothing outweighs my witty puns, sharp wittiness, other descriptions using wit, and not to mention my heart breaking moments of pain and suffering.
It's also totally hilarious.
"Hold on," you say, "Are you advertising your blog... on your blog?"
Yes, reader, yes I am.

"Hutch/Peter, you need to write another blog post. I was so bored last night!"
I hear that more often than I care to boast about, which is quite a lot, because I'm boasting about it right now.
"I've only just wrote one!" I then say.
It seems that you, my fellow readers, the chosen few, are just about the luckiest people on the planet. No one but you get to marvel at the awesomeness of this fantastic blog. So don't think that this isn't a privilege.
The fact of the matter is, I could write a blog post every single day if I wanted to, but, alas, sometimes even my mind draws a blank, with nothing to note, jot, or otherwise some other variation of the verb "write", but let's face the facts here people, as cocky as I sound, the stuff I produce should be the New Testament 2.0, and soon it will be so.

Yes, this blog has sparked a new era in religion. One that I shall lead unto glorious victory over your pathetic little planet. All non-believers shall be left alone, and if I'm honest, I was lying, I'm not making a new religion. Wouldn't be a bad idea though, I need a new writing project.
And Adam said unto Eve, "Tits or GTFO." And Eve doth punch Adam square in the nose, and Adam cried.
And God did bestow his holy spirit unto the Earth, press his crotch on Adam's face and did say "Pwned, n00b," and he felt that it was good.

So, today, Wednesday, what a day. A day that I felt was worth mentioning, because I was once more able to see my kids. What great kids. The year eights were designing badges and rosettes for their election campaign, and soon I will have badges from all four of my parties, and they will totally smote E,S,T and N's arses. For they are nothing. Those kids are out of control; barely able to stand on their own two feet. As always, the textiles room was my getaway. The nice classroom where all the windows open, and there are no machines so you don't get too hot.
The year sevens were less exciting. I decided to join Eve's tutor group in the textiles room where they drew stuff, purely because I fancied a nice, relaxed end to the day in a nice, cool classroom. That went down quite well.

Well, that's the end of another epic entry from the one and second Messiah. Now, run for the hills, children, pray for forgiveness as the rapture comes. Satan's forces will rise from hell and do battle with me for seven years, at which point I'll probably kill the antichrist, and then my job will be complete. If I don't get laid for that, then there is literally no hope for you as a species. I wish you luck in your endeavours, but I'd rather hang out with the dudes on Mars, they're great.
Until another time, worshippers.