"You've been quiet recently"

Oh shush, it's only been two weeks. Although I have literally no excuse. I planned an update last week to tell you what has been happening, but naturally you were all there at said happening, so I then concluded that I couldn't be arsed.

But I suppose I owe it to you all now to give you the most spontaneously awesome update you ever did see! However, the outcome is probably not going to be that. Unless I go off on a tangent. God my tangents are awesome. Like that one with the bee and the rhinoceros. Oh, you didn't hear that one? Well you see the bee's all like "this is my house now. Get out or I'll sting you >:)" but the rhino is all like "I have really tough skin and a horn. You haven't got a chance" and then the rhino charges, but of course the bee is really small compared to the rhino, so poor Mr Rhino can't impale it. But then the bee gets tired, but in one last attempt to piss off the rhino, it goes in for the kill. Its stinger breaks on the rhino's back but the bee dies anyway, because bees have the worst defence mechanism of all time. Death. So now the rhino's all content with itself, but then a wasp flies in and is all like "Hey Tony, are you-" *inhaled gasp and wide-eyed-surprise* "WHAT DID YOU DO TO TONY!"
"He attacked me!"
"SO YOU KILLED HIM!?"
"But he just-"
"Why Tony, why??!"
"I kind of feel bad now... I have some nectar-"
"Did you just say nectar?"
"Yeah, I was just about to -"
"Where is it? I want nectar. Bzz bzz nectar."
"If you'll just-"
"I'll sting you for nectar. I'm a mean wasp. Bzz bzz nectar."
"It's in the back."
"NECTAAAARRRR!"
And the wasp and the rhino lived in peace.

So anyway, as I was saying. Actually, I wasn't saying anything, I just went off on a big tangent about bees, wasps and rhinos. But that was an awesome story, I should write. Oh wait! I do write! Damn I'm awesome. If only writing stuff was a cool thing to do in younger years, then I'd have been laid at least ... when did I write the Boy with No Name... two years ago! Damn that was a good story, and it was certainly popular with the ladies. Wait. Fuck. I totally missed a huge opportunity to do something amazing didn't I? I let fame get to my head and write a second, but not as good, story, and it all went tumbling downhill. Darn. But hey, if you would like to read the Boy with No Name, it's on MySpace and www.richchief.com.

Right, was there supposed to be a point to this blog? Yes, yes there was. It was supposed to be the most epic of epic updates. With fireworks and explosions and duelling banjos... the list could quite possibly go on. But no, let's get serious.

As many have noticed, I've not been quite myself recently. Being a little quiet, a little reserved and generally being miserable.
"I worry about you."
I wish I could put my finger on it. I mean, the most recent reason would be that the fucking cleaner took my dog away after I assumed we were keeping him forever and she took him away just like that. That was two weeks ago, and I haven't seen him since. And you know what? It's fucking annoying. I also heard from the grape vine that he wouldn't be coming back. WHY FUCKING NOT? He's my dog, he was supposed to be my dog after three fucking months! It's been 9 months now, and we only had him for three months before that whore took him back. Why? It makes literally no sense. She's got two dogs at her house already, so it's not exactly like she's missing much. We finally get someone to fill the void left by Bart, and then he's stolen away again. Why is everything about loss?
But apart from that I can't fathom anything. My misery started before Walter was taken, so there must be something else. I wish I knew the answer, because then I could fix it. But there ain't no rest for the wicked.

So, the current holiday. What's happened? You know what's happened. We've hung out a lot, eaten pizza, watched movies, Jonathan Creek nights (one of which happened last night and I had a very interesting and in-depth conversation with Bekah, that's always a nice thing to do, since it doesn't happen often), and our hundred and one thousand trips to either Kettering or Corby town centre. Josh H has really dug his heels in and gotten to know all of the Krewe a lot better, and as such he has taken the helm to organising things. Well, when I say organising, I mean he texts us every morning saying, "So what's descending this day, various people of African-American origin?" Okay, he's never said that, but I have totally put an awesome, PC twist on the popular phrase, "What's going down, negro?"

Well, there you have it. What an update this was. It was more tangent than anything else, but I needed to give you something to laugh and/or sigh at.
"Your blog has gone to shit" as Dukey said. I sure proved him what's what and where's where, who's who, why's why and when's how. Yeah.
Until another post.
Hutch away!