Good Friday

Not only was that title relevant it is also factual.

But first, I have completed both of Portals modes only two days after its release... and three days after I got it. I wouldn't normally talk about games, but Portal is a different kind of game. Firstly, the first game was voted the best game in the world ever by lots of different game review companies, and also Portal 2 is at least 10 times the game that Portal 1 is. So not only has it reached the top spot, but it has actually reached a new level of winning. It's the kind of winning you can only win if you're ten times better than the win that you're supposed to get. Usually that's quite difficult. But seriously, I wholeheartedly recommend it. If you can find it for free, Portal 1 is totally free and is actually worth the £13 you have to pay for the Orange Box, which is the format it originally came in. That totally single player game actually became multiplayer, as reviewers actually stated that not only did their partners/friends enjoy watching them play it, but actually joined in to help them solve the more difficult puzzles. Portal 2 was designed to incorporate this, and it then threw a co-op mode at us which was damn-fucking awesome. It was like so awesome that it's going to be included later in this blog post.

First Lesson - Sleep
Uh... yeah, I can still use this format. Fuck you.

Second Lesson - Sleep
You can complain all you like, but I'm not going to stop.

Third Lesson - Waking Up
I should probably clarify at this point that the only reason I'm doing this is because it was supposed to be Friday's turn for a blog post, but you know... it's Good Friday and that means I'm not actually at school so I guessed that I should do this instead... well not really instead because I'm still following my own rules.

Anyway, during this time Josh phoned me to tell me that he was at town and he wanted me there to do some shopping for later's barbecue. Don't even try and say something about my grammar in that sentence, because I know full well that later is an adjective and not a noun, but I just turned it into one so suck it. Anyway, I got on my merry way soon enough and met Josh along Rockingham Road.

Fourth Lesson - The McKays
After arriving in town Josh brought me to his Laura and her family. They're an... odd bunch, to say the least. I mean, I can see exactly why Josh gets on with them. I think the correct word is... eccentric. Or just mad, but you know, no judgements here.

After we got the goods from the butchers we strolled back to Laura's house. I'm kind of hesitant to state what we did next.

Fifth Lesson - Portal 2
It was totally Josh's idea. But seriously, the co-op mode is amazing. It takes co-op gaming to a whole new level. In other games you can be a sort of "spawn buddy" so the other player can be a "bullet magnet" and try and kill everything and die in the process. But there's never been a co-op puzzle game before, not to my knowledge anyway. It forces both players to be active and thinking while doing it or you just don't progress at all. Laura's brothers tried to help, but seriously, they probably helped less than the bear-dog that Laura owns. I'm serious, it's a bear. But yeah, point proven, Portal brings people together to make them think. Sure they can't do it as well as Josh and I, but at least they tried... to be annoying while Josh and I were trying to think... but it's the thought that counts at the end of the day... because that's what Portal needs, a lot of thought, and they weren't providing it... but they were nice enough to get in the way of progress, and that's just swell.

Post Whatever Time Came After Portal
We had dinner. It was delicious. Josh was at the BBQ doing the shiz with the niz and making the food taste edible and delicious. Oh yeah, I failed to mention that Dukey and Joe arrived just before this point. That marked the time in the evening when food should be the only important thing in the moment.

Uh... Oh yeah, a very funny thing for us all was playing with Buster the Beardog. Dukey managed to show that despite the fact that he now has a dog, he's still absolutely despised by them. Buster wouldn't do a thing Dukey asked him to do, and this bear is the most obedient dog in the world.

Anyway, after communal food time Josh and I completed Portal we uh... how late was that exactly? Did we go out? OH YEAH! We went bowling.

Bowling
So yeah, you know that game where you set up 10 pins in an equilateral triangle about 10 metres away from your position and then dig gutters down either side of you according to the width of the pins and then you throw a ball that comes in a variety of colours and masses to suit your convenience down the "alley" towards the ultimate goal of knocking the pins over? Yeah, we did that.

It was pretty cool. Laura pretty much handed our collective arses to us in the first round by bowling more strikes and spares than a ... spider monkey with a micro-chip in its head programmed to only throw the best bowls in order to win every single time. I did my usual tactic of biding my time in the first round, letting everyone else sweat it out so that in the second round they're tired enough to let me win. Tactic? That's total bullshit. No, that's codeword for "I needed an excuse for losing the first round." I swear it's to do with the fact that I always take over in the second round. You know, all that lateral thinking and shit that I can do. Shush.

It should be noted that in our second game Josh and I drew perfectly because he performed an amazing once-in-probably-a-night-for-professional-bowlers-if-there-are-such-things feat by getting a strike and a spare in the last bowl. That's pretty good. I was just amazing throughout that round.

Blackadder
After bowling we went down into the deepest depths of Laura's abode to watch the comedy legend that is Rowan Atkinson in Blackadder Goes Forth. You know what? I've always thought that there were never enough ... anything about the first world war. I think that's mainly because the Great War mainly consisted of sitting in a trench (in German, they call it eine Grabe. Literally, a grave) for the most part stewing in your own filth trying not to poke your head up enough for a sniper to see you and pop it off. Anyway, Blackadder takes this kind of... skipped over a tiny bit part of history and flesh it out enough to make it funny. They do make a point though that if you even slide your hand into no-man's land then it will be shot off. Incidentally, that's how a lot of soldiers got out of fighting. Anyway, that was good.

The Morning
I only really mention the morning because I told a wonderful story about a game called "Duck's Revenge" which I made up on the spot in my head. Now, of course it was all of the top of my head so I can't actually remember what it's all about, but it's still a pretty cool idea and shows that I've still got it. If I do remember it, I'm sure I'll blog it.

Anyway, that's that and this is this.

Actually, that's just that.

There is no this.

This is not that.

That is not this.

Perhaps this could be that though. Although what kind of a world would we live in if it did?

I'm out.