First on the list is what on Earth happened after Friday. Well, after Friday, Saturday happened. Following Saturday was Sunday. I think you can see where this is going.
Saturday
On Saturday we did an abundance of things. First and foremost was the all-important "let's go to Josh's house for the hell of it" routine so that Joe and Dukey could watch the game where lots of imbeciles mindlessly kick a ball around a field for ninety minutes hoping to get it somewhere near a big white rectangle with a man in front of it. The result of this game of footballery was I don't care. While this was happening Josh and I went to fetch supplies for what was at least seventy times more important than whatever nonsense was happening on the television - something to do with a final cup. We were going to cook dinner.
*GASP!*
I know, right? Dinner, me? Make? Josh? Food? Edible? Exactly. It's far too much to comprehend all in one go. But actually I found it rather easy. It was just cutting up onions (painful) and then mixing them with mushrooms in a wok (painful) until they started cooking (less painful) and then we added the mince (not painful at all). What could be easier? From all of our hard work came a lasagne (cooked while we were watching a pretty good episode of Docteur Qui) and it was actually foodable. After that we went to the land of gypsies and caravans. It had loads of caravans and gypsies, and also a few fairground rides. I guess you could've called it the Corby Fair. Well, you could be nitpicky like that, or you could shut up and let me tell the story. In fact, let my camera tell the story.
Camera: "Hi I'm Hutch's camera -"
No, I meant through pictures. Why the hell, camera, would you assume that you could just gain a conscious like that, become sentient and start addressing my audience. Pff, your audience. They're my audience. This is not the time to go into this!
Before we went to the fair, we decided to annoy Dukey by clipping all of the seatbelts together in a massive, incomprehensible tangle. Normally we do minor things to piss him off, but this takes the cake. Hang on, let me quote Josh.
Dukey: Why don't you do it to Joe or Hutchy?!
Josh: But if I do it to Joe or Hutchy then there's no consequence for our road safety!
Classic.
That's the coolest picture of a sunset ever. Of all time.
That's just the coolest picture of an anything ever. Of all time.
Driving faces: on.
When we drove back to Dukey's for some pointless reason we pointlessly watched Eurovision. Graham Norton told me to take this picture:
So I did.
That pretty much sums up Saturday.
Sunday
We woke up at Josh's house.
After that we kidnapped Caitlin, which was a laugh. Nah, we were actually on our way to Northampton for the Nicholls' BBQ. It was pretty cool. We got mugs. Here are some pictures:
Herr Nicholls at the BBQ
Taste something funny, Paul?
No, Westie, BAD WESTIE!
The mug that has all of our names on it.
Us German lot
When they rest, they're Dative, but when they move, they're Accusative: The DRAMs
The sufferers of the action: The Accusatives
The indirect sufferers of the action: The Datives
They belong to me: The Genetives
We had a great time at that BBQ. It only leaves me to say how much of a wonderful man Herr Nicholls is, and Paul's speech for the occasion was so perfect I don't think I can top it. If I can get it off him, then I'll be sure to post it here.
[Paul's speech here]
See? There's even at little marker. Alas, this event was also a goodbye to our much-loved Janina. She started out all shy and German and then she practically became one of us. You'll be missed, Jani, you surely will. Damn, if only I had what I wrote to her in that book...
[Insert book quote here]
I won't actually ever be able to read what I wrote in that book again, but it was teary and amusing - they're the things that I'm good at afterall.
Anyway, after that Bekah invited Joe and I over to watch a film and have a catch up. What did we watch in the end? Oh yeah, Bekah decided that we should have a girls' night in, despite the fact that both Joe and I are men and we're called the Brotherhood. Brother is your male sibling. There is nothing fe- or sis- about that. Trust me. We ended up watching the... Bridgett Jones's Diary. I hated it. There was, however, a poorly done fight scene which caught my attention. It actually looked pretty realistic, which surprised me. But, it's a very very bad film that is so cliché it's unbelievable. I have been told though that it was this film that birthed the cliché rom-com genre. Is that supposed to make me like it more? Just because it was kind of original in its day it doesn't account for the fact that rom-com took off like a fucking storm because of it. It's a plague. It should have been destroyed before production. Now everyone's entitled to like their own films and indeed have their own formulated opinions about films - but if your opinion is wrong (say for example you like stupidly unrealistic stupid snobbish bitches going out of their way to try and bed a stupidly unrealistic snobbish arsehole... films) then that's not my fault - you're just wrong. I don't make the rules here. My opinion is correct and either you conform or your opinion is wrong.
That was such a Marxist approach to film reviews. I apologise. You are entitled to your opinion, even if it is wrong. Is that better? Wicked.
Wednesday
What? Monday and Tuesday were boring.
After phoning around trying to organise Dukey's birthday pint I went over to Joe's to have a chill and a chat and to not waste another perfectly sunny and wonderful day. Okay, it was raining, but that's beside the point. We had a nice time with a nice little chat and watched some nice little television and then went for a nice little walk where I nice picked up a nice little card for nice little Dukey.
Wait.
Nice and little do not go with Dukey. No offence, but you are an Evil Tyrant.
So after I picked up a positively evil card for Evil Tyrant Lord Dukeystein we went back to Joe's house to eat some of his German biscuits and I accidentally finished them all off. He didn't mind. He said they needed getting rid of, so I got rid of them. Besides, by that point I hadn't eaten in three hours, which is much longer than I should go without food.
Anyway, soon some time later Laura's brother picked us all up and we went to the public house in Corby that has been named the Harper's Brook. Not sure why, but it has. Who is Harper? And why is his Brook so special? Beats me. Anyway, I suppose I should put some preliminary messages up to suggest that I do have pictures from this event, but they just don't currently exist.
[Images currently non-existent]
Good. Just so we're sure.
Anyway, that just about sums up everything that has happened over the past like five million days. Okay, I summarised three days, but it's close to five million. Only four million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety seven... that's closer than 7,000,000,000,000 which in Laymen's terms is seven trillion.
So uh... yeah, I'll leave this post here. It's a pretty lengthy one as well. I had to make up for the fact that I haven't posted in like seven quadrillion years. I have to write out seven quadrillion now.
7,000,000,000,000,000
How cool does that look?
Oh, since it's the end of everything at the moment, comic/MS Paint job ideas would be wholly appreciated. I might do a sequel to Your Planet called Your City. How cool would that be? But I don't know yet. I'll keep you posted. Well no, actually, I'll keep the blog posted and you'll keep reading my blog. That's how this system works... just so you know.
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