Sophia's Wednesday

It belongs to Sophia.

It's her birthday. Does that explain things a little better now?

Oh, here's a present, Sophia:

That's right, it's the idea that we all have what we need in this world and we should care for those who are not as fortunate as us. In other words it's nothing. I'm sorry. Have a hilarious blog post instead. It doesn't cost me anything and it's at least one million times better than a piece of paper with the words, "Happy Birthday!" in balloon writing across the front.

Anyway, before I get on with today's proceedings, I'd like to share something with you.

You know how I'm one of the co-founders of RichChief and a supporter of all it's endeavours such as Granite Moths and ... the comics? Well, Dukey posted this:

Dukey's FM Adventure
"I know not many people will read this, if any, but it might grab some people from the interwebs, lots of people seem to like reading these FM stories.

I'll update you on the story so far.

I'm in my 3rd season, managing Getafe in the LIGA BBVA. I was managing United, but after a bad run of results, got sacked. While at united, i changed the playing squad...about 40% and won 2 FA Cups, 1 league cup and 3 charity shields.

Upon joining Getafe i instantly made 3 british signings (it's january) - Wayne Bridge (D L), Chris Cohen (M/AM C) and Danny Welbeck (ST) on loan. I'll upload picatures later and keep y'all up to date ^^"

Not only did I not even manage to read the whole thing, but I was tricked by the thought that it would be exciting. I was wrong. I then proceeded to reply to this with what I think should definitely happen in the world of Football Manager:

"And then there was a flash of blinding light and a giant meteor fell towards the Earth. Wayne Bridge looked up into the suddenly darkened sky and saw the flaming ball hurtling towards him. Eyes wide open, a few flecks of the burning sky fell into his eyes, blinding him and sending him into a frenzy. His worst footballing enemy, Danny Wellbeck was not aware yet that they were on the same team and instantly slide tackled his injured opponent. The referee saw this, and they were both out for the season.

Chris Cohen was on the other side on the field, about to smash the ball into the enemy team's goal. Suddenly the ball caught fire and exploded as his foot collided with it, leaving him extremely confused.

There was another flash of light and Wayne Rooney rose into the air in an angelic fashion. His eyes glowed bright red and he burned Sir Alex Fergerson with his new powers.

The FA called together an immediate meeting to discuss what had happened on the pitch that day. They concluded that Sir Alex had been bribing the enemy team and Wayne Rooney was called for an immediate drug test. The test showed that his urine had turned to acid and dissolved the doctors who were analysing it.

Something had to be done.

The newspapers soon caught wind of what was happening and Ashley Cole bought a superinjunction to avoid them.

The Earth was then destroyed by the meteor I mentioned earlier.

THAT is a Football Manager adventure."

That's hilarious. I never did get Dukey's response to that. He probably thought something along the lines of, "This is Hutchy, say hi" and then scolded himself for using my perfectly formed common phrase.

Anyway, on with the day.

First Lesson - Deutsch
We watched Das Experiment. I've talked about Das Experiment in the past, but to recap it's a film about a simulation of a prison. There are guards and prisoners. In the beginning it's all happy-go-lucky, but soon the guards get miffed because the prisoners are being dicks to them, so they get out of control and do shit to scare them. Eventually it escalates and people get killed. Yeah, that's Das Experiment. At breakfast I gave Sophia her commemorative birthday hug, and all was well in the world.

Second Lesson - Media
Uhh... this lesson was actually really boring. Boring in the way that I found it super interesting as always, but there's not really much to talk about. We were each given a question to answer yesterday and today we presented our findings to the class. Nothing I haven't told you before.

Third Lesson - Free
After I found my Luke and my Sophia in assembly we went off to the library to do stuff. It consisted mainly of talking tactics for World Conquest, which is our fantastic forum game where we get to take over the world. You know, that game is so cool that my kids have started up their own game of it. Lunch was at least seven times more interesting because... well because Luke and Sophia are fun and interesting people. Ooh, now would be a brilliant time to do my actual present to Sophia.

Sophia, you are... just great. Not only are you funny, creative, damn fine and not to mention intelligent, but you're also like the biggest fan of me. That's gotta count for something. I mean, someone's got to appreciate my wonderful beard.

Beard Update: Everyone still loves it. Becca still doesn't. Let me give you this in a way that you mathematicians will understand.
Everyone = roughly 6.9bn
Becca = 1
The ratio of people who like my beard to people who don't is 6,900,000,000:1
Although I probably will shave it off soon. I've started picking up beard habits, such as licking my moustache because it's really smooth and retains the taste of juice, so it's also not that bad.

Fourth Lesson - My Kids
This wasn't my most exciting lesson with my kids. I got stuck in the laser cutting room because none of the year nines can remember how this simple piece of machinery operates. I picked it up like three minutes after I was shown how to use it. It's not very difficult. Other than that I was given the wonderful gift of Paige and all of her fantastic different, amusing voices. It was weird, I can tell you that. That's something I've noticed about these kids, around teachers they act like any student would. They shut up and act all ... unnatural, but with me they are themselves. I'm like, the perfect teacher. It must be said.

Fifth Lesson - DT
This lesson we finally started theory. Josh joined us so he could use an empty socket, which is fair enough, but Mrs Depthsofhell wasn't happy with that, so she sent him away and also insulted my work while she was at it. This close, -><-, I am this close -><- to murdering her with a very heavy, blunt object. My DT coursework would actually provide a beautiful murder weapon. Secondary function: found. After Mrs Negativeword left Josh came back anyway, and Mr Barrett let him stay right where he belongs. We then talked about composite materials until the day was through.

On the way home, I had a chat with Courtney about various teachers and how much we like them. On the most part I agree with her, but then she said something that shocked me to the very core. I used the opportunity to vent my frustration of Oppositeofagoodteacher at her, but then Courtney came out and admitted that she didn't mind Mrs Ainscow! The cheek of it! She's gone too far this time. First she mocks my coursework, then she takes my Josh away, then she tries to sabotage my coursework, then she purposefully drops my coursework when they were moderating it so that it then broke Westie's coursework, then she mocked my coursework again and now she's brainwashing my kids against me! That's it, Mrs Ieatmyownbabies, you've issued a declaration of war and I have accepted. It's so on.

Anyway, happy birthday Sophia.

Oh yeah, by the way.

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