"Yeah, yeah, a whole month.
And stuff has gone on.
I started cutting myself.
But after a lengthy heart to heart with Lamaal, I managed to put the knife away and not put it to myself again.
The scars are still there though.
Oh well, that's just another thing to add to the list. [in reference to a list I made earlier on in Travis about all the bad things I could think of about myself. I rectified this entry by saying "fuck it" at the end and putting a "big me up" angry rant on the end, claiming that I wasn't such a bad person after all, which I don't think I am]
Things are moving slowly right now.
Work is still dominating life, yet it doesn't get done.
Dave is my evening now.
I should really do my French on time.
But that's not my fault, it's the fault of the ridiculous amount of work for French that is totally irrelevant to my learning.
I feel I should mention Kay, the wonderful girl from Surrey.
She gets me, because she's taken a lot of stint herself.
Nice find, if I say so.
Thanks to Pedadu for that.
Can't see her in person though, which sucks.
It'd be nice to.
Uhh, what else can I say?
While my thoughts do not currently dwell on killing myself as they so often do lately, I still fear it.
Well, I say kill myself, more horrific accident in which I am almost killed and then [removed for discretion reasons. What? I've thought about what I'm going to say as my dying words. There's no fucking way I'm going to write that shit down here. That's way too deep and it shouldn't have been thought about in the first place. You want a fight about it?].
I've really thought about this.
I've dreamt about it.
You know, the dreams that aren't about [okay, okay, this is a little personal now. The words I've covered up aren't sex on the beach, by the way. Nor do they involve sex. Well, actually, that can be argued. But you know what I mean. It's information about a person I don't want to reveal, because I don't.]
I feel the outcast again though, obviously because of my depression, and because I'm spending a lot of time alone. A lot more than usual.
Sigh and such.
I'm such a freak.
I want to just reset.
Ah, now I get the potentially fatal accident dram. That'd be a reset and a half.
I'll write soon, Travis."
That write soon never happened, because Travis transformed into Cliché Life Stuff.
Come to think of it, I think I covered many of the issues in this entry with Bejocr in one of our immense heart to heart conversations.
Those conversations are indeed immense.
Needless to say it's been months since all that cunt happened, so it's not a problem anymore, as this blog will show you.
Seriously, just back track and see if you can find a blog close to the date of this entry, and work your way from there.
Although I am very scared that there's a huge gap.
Oh well, nevermind and such.
Anyway, thank you for making me feel like I can trust you to delve into the inner workings of my mind, even if I have censored a few things.
I'm sorry for that, but I just don't think it's fair to I and the people who may have been involved in said censoring for me to say.
But that's all the clue-age I'm going to give you.
So yeah, this is the last of my Travis blogs I believe.
Quite a lot of shit going down in there.
So yeah, I'll catch you all later.
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