Worst Day of the Year Thursday

Hey, we're almost a year into this blog and you're still finding out new things about me. How exciting is that? Trust me, don't read this post. It's for your own good.

The title doesn't necessarily mean that this is definitely the worst day of the year, because something awful might happen later on, but the point is that this day repeats itself every year on the 27th of January. It's the one day in the year when I absolutely cannot find happiness. If you know me inside out and back to front and then the right way around then you might know where I'm going with this.

15 years ago to the day was probably the worst day of my life. I say probably because I can't remember it, since I'd only just turned three at the time. Unfortunately, I'm absolutely terrible at being straight and to the point with this matter so I'm just going to be cryptic with you. Do you remember why Becca is duper super important to me? Yeah, that's what this day is all about.

She was the one person who could have made me a part of this family, and not the lone wolf who is typing to you now. She must have done something right in the three years that I did know her because after she died I was apparently able to raise myself. Well, I say able, what I mean is that I was kind of forced to raise myself. If you take a look at the relationship my two brothers have with the rest of the "family" then you'll understand exactly why I'm like I am with them. Because of what happened 15 years ago I'm alone surrounded by people I hate and who equally hate me. It's because of all of this that I feel so detached from this household that I'm actually convinced that I'm adopted. Unfortunately, in order to test this theory I have to get tissue samples, but that would require going near these people whom I'm forced to live with, and that's unacceptable. Once again, they leave me in the dark.

However, right now I have my Real Family. The only unfortunate thing about that is that I don't live with you, but that'll change soon enough. Seriously, this day would be 1000x worse without you guys, just like it used to be.

I apologise for taking so long to essentially say that I'm a pathetic wimp. I'll get on with the rest. Although you probably won't want to read that either.

First Lesson - Janina
Naturally I started the day trying to keep myself together enough so that it was barely noticeable that I was completely miserable. It didn't work very well. Anyway, Janina's lesson today wasn't that exciting to be honest with you. We had to argue about racism, but we weren't given free reign, no no. We had to argue base on criteria, that being that we either ban right-wing groups or that's not the answer. I went with the fact that banning right-wing groups wouldn't make a difference to anything, and in fact the only way of stopping racism is to educate people properly, as opposed to all the anti-Nazi crap we get taught in school, or the anti-black stuff we frequently read about in the news. That's my opinion though. Also, in breakfast, Josh and I were talking to one of the OFfice of STudent EDucation inspectors (I totally just worked that out. No one else has worked it out) and he turned out to be quite a nice guy, and really likes our school. You know what though? Of all the slagging off we do about this school, when you're talking to some guy about it, you realise that you're actually in a top-class place and wouldn't be anywhere else.

Second Lesson - DT
"Oh I need something to do... I know, I'll clean the table! That's what women are good at." Lottie Rand on... did she just put herself in her place while I was doing all the man stuff? 


That's the quote of the day right there. And by man stuff I mean cutting and filing metal so that it looks smooth and is the perfect size. The real man cares about attention to detail. I'm the real man. This lesson didn't really cheer me up though, since I was, for the most part, completely alone and therefore thinking. Thinking is never good for me. Although some of my mediocre ideas come from thinking. My best ones are always spontaneous though.

Third Lesson - Deutsch
Fortunately I had my Dukey and Jed (no one owns Jed) this lesson and we were tasked with a translation exercise. It wasn't all that difficult and as a team we did pretty well. I can't remember enough to go into detail, so I won't. After that though, we watched some of a video about the Berliner Mauer, which was pretty cool.

Fourth Lesson - Free
A simple lesson starting with a really nice chat from various members of my Real Family. This was a nice respite from all the misery earlier in the day, and raised my spirits a little. I managed to help out Maisie a bit with her coursework, despite the fact that I don't know the first thing about [insert subject here]. I didn't really pay attention. I then decided to a bit of work of my own. The Physics lot then came out and a Joshi joined us, but after a little while fucked off to go and see what Dallamore was doing. One by one, wait, hold on...

Fifth Lesson - Free
One by one people left, and then some more accumulated. They left in a huge group though, leaving me completely alone. I then dipped back into misery hole numero uno when I decided that I should get some Media work done. I needed someone to talk to at this point, because I couldn't cope loneliness anymore and decided to pack my things, sort out what I actually need to do for media and then bloody find someone. However, everyone was either in the library playing bloody Scrabble or with Josh larking about with his bloody laser pen. I found me a Natalie eventually and asked her what needed to be done for the Media work I should've done the previous week. Now I know. It would seem that all the work Ms Mankiewicz has set for us is pointless and irrelevant. Surprise, surprise. I then found me a Josh and a Jed, who aren't ideal people to talk to about 'stuff' but otherwise good company and therefore fine. Josh asked me at least twice what was wrong, but as I am with myself, I'm not good at telling people anything so didn't really give a formulated response. My Joe then joined us and the rest of the day kind of happened. I've just lost all motivation to continue remembering shit, so I won't.

I apologise with deepest sincerity at how awfully awful this post has been. If I was in any right frame of mind then this wouldn't even be posted, but since it's Thursday's turn I kind of had to. Besides, you guys have a right to know what goes on in my head. This is me speaking as if only you lot read this blog, but I seem to have forgotten that the whole world reads this thing now. Shit a brick on a stick. But wait, I haven't finished yet.

1900 - Now
I'll you bloody what, lad, alcohol is just great. It's like great and shit. Uhh... Oh, this is a blag. I mean blog. That's what I mean and shit. So, what was I saying? Yeah, my fingers are typing by themselves, it doesn't really feel like I'm controlling them because they're doing everything perfectly and I'm in no frame of mind to be doing anything with precision. That said I won a game of pool against Luke, so it's cool and all that shit and wank.

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, we went to the Briars for mine and Hoier's first legal drinking sessions. That's a vital bit of information. You must understand this. Do you understand it yet? Good, let's move on. Because I'm like all shitted in the Kopf and shit. I do apologise in the most gratuitous manner, for I appear to be using my writing talents to formulate sentences that don't make any sense at all. You know what? Sentences need to make sense. You see the connection between the two words? I know right, it's really cool. Anyway, what was I saying. Yeah, essentially we went to the Briars and drank lots of alcoholic beverages. Hahahaha, Joe's going to have a huge hangover tomorrow. He was so pissed! Speaking of pissed, I have a really weak bladder. I went to the Toilette 5mal! Ich weiss! That's weak, dude, man, bro. I can't feel my cheeks.

Some of you might say that I did this to kind of forget that this is like a crappy day for me, and you'd be right about that. I've completely forgotten about it and shit.

Uh... oh yeah, Bekah was there, but she didn't stay for very long because she has an exam. You know what's funny? My head is like a typewriter right now. Seriously, I start a sentence with my head hanging left, and then at the end of the sentence it's hanging right! How cool is that?

So, Josh and Maisie were also there. They're pretty cool people. Maisie was willing to buy alcohol for us. But then again, so was everyone else. I forgot my ID though. Then again, my ID is a 5 year old passport, and is therefore not good to me at all. Damn that thing to hell, I say. Anyway, Dukey was also there, but he was the designated driver so didn't drink and therefore what he said made sense. His thoughts were cognitive. It's crazy stuff. Oh yeah, Joshi taught me how to play pool properly. I say that, but I already knew how to do it and almost kicked his arse. Almost. I did, however, kick Luke's arse. Hahahaha. Harry and Westie were also there for a little while, but they didn't get drunk either. Apparently Westie did some pretty cool pool tricks, but I didn't see them, so I don't care. Uh... Oh yeah, Joe was there and he just got so fucked in the ass by a ... green giant. You should've seen it. It was horrific. Tom was the important guest though in our little tavern, because it was his birthday, but it was celebrating my birthday as well so screw him and his tight anus. I don't know if he has a tight anus, but I assume that no man has touched him so he's cool down there. I say cool, but I don't know if he has the occasional curry or not. He probably does.

I won pool. While drunk. With one hand behind my back. Because you see, when you play pool, one hand is behind your back while you make the shot anyway! Oh-ho! I'm a comical genius.

Right, I need to do work. It's far too late for work. No, me, I must do this or I'll be a bad person. Aw come on! I'm serial about this, lad. Fine. I'll do that. Hehehe, Ms Mankybitch is going to get some funny work in the morning.

Anyway, you're all wonderful and I love you and if I don't end up living with you then I'm going to kill a lot of people. When I say a lot, I mean I instantly thought of Japanese people. I have no idea why, because they're not a threat. Not like the Chinese.

Uh... Goodbye.